Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I noticed that too bro..Most women who have diseases are fu*kin freaks.. :rockon:Gears of Led Zep said:I've went out with a Bipolar chick before, and man she was a freak...sexually. I got a bl0wjob once in her house at a HUGE family gathering, door open and everything. Personality-wise she was just an attention-***** I guess, nothing like the Borderline stuff I read on here. Maybe she had mild Bi-polar.
In Psych though they taught us that sexual promiscuity (sp?) was a huge symptom of Bipolar in women, soo.......SCORE
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
horaholic said:Bipolar is sort of a symptom of BPD, as well.
BPD by contrast afflicts almost exclusively women, cannot be medicated, and is very complex.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Gotcha! I get it. I guess that doesn't apply to me then as I'm able to endure, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness but at the sametime, I'm still working on that. I think you're refering to the fourth subtype of the Impulsive BPD type.jophil28 said:Those two behaviors do not qualify you as BPD, however both are commonly seen in BPDs along with some other signs and symptoms.
#2 is probably called, "Low tolerance for frustration" in psych speak.
It is an inability to accept daily disappointment and is characterized by explosive outbursts or a seething resentment when relatively minor events do not work immediately in your favor.
You want what you want and you want it NOW !
Acq said:I must completely avoid drugs, coffee...and limit alcohol
that sucks, these things increase BPD symptoms dramatically. In fact, drug/alcohol abuse can cause BPD in a healthy person, especially combined with prolonged severe stress.Those three things were almost all that I ever saw my bpd ex consume.
Source:
Schizophrenics and Bipolars are mentally ill: Schizophrenics and Bipolars can’t control their bizarre thoughts, behaviors, impulses and/or hallucinations without medication and deserve our compassion and sympathy.
Cluster B individuals are not mentally ill: Many of their behaviors and beliefs are counter to societal norms, but they are not crazy in the sense that they’re not responsible for their actions due to insanity. Having zero impulse control doesn’t make you insane; it makes you an out of control child. Most BPDs are quite capable of controlling their bizarre and abusive behaviors when it suits them.
*Interesting point here:
Most Cluster B’s only mistreat and abuse people who they’re certain will let them get away with it. Validating their emotions, beliefs, assertions and accusations just because they’re having them, which often have no basis in reality, only enables them to continue to jerk you around.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Interesting...Gears of Led Zep said:In Psych though they taught us that sexual promiscuity (sp?) was a huge symptom of Bipolar in women, soo.......SCORE