"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
becoming exclusive! please read!!!!!
- Thread starter hot stuff
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
Shiftkey
Master Don Juan
Ideally (assuming you want a GF) you should be dating multiple women until the one you want asks you to stop.
lol yeah ok only if ure hot and horny and up for some dirty sweaty sex 5 nites of the week! :cheer:penkitten said:
but anyways...ive been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks now properly, which i suppose isnt very long and im starting to develop this oneitis for her now! i no i no what a pile of pull ****e!!but im doing my best to control it!! its ****ing hard though!! i might try and make her jealous and game her a little more by playin more HB's..that should escalate her feeligs for me!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
However, we have been seeing a lot of each other recently and she said we should slow down a little becasue we are both going to university in a few weeks for our first year!! does that mean i should next her..even though im pretty sure shes very attracted to me
Rebound Material
Master Don Juan
oh man...makes me wish that i can somehow go back in time and just fcukin kick myself in the fcukin balls for doing what Penkitten posted...Shezz said:
YES, thats a one way ticket to 0% attraction.
Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
To to her about something you were talking about with someone else about her.
"Yeah i just said i was with my girlfriend." See how she takes it. If its good then its a nice indicator in the right direction. If she takes it bad. Just say in a C+F fashion. "Oh you thought i ment you?"
I did that in my last relationship and we just started calling each other bf and gf.
Sarge On!
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
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Sorry Penkitten, you are nice and all, but being a girl means you have really no idea how to build attraction towards women. You have no experience in that regard.Rebound Material said:
*DISCLAIMER* --> The following ONLY applies to girls that you have known for a while and are "friends" with or are somewhat casually dating.
I can tell everyone here straight out from my own EXPERIENCE (not based on "theory") that coming out to a girl and saying that you like her or want her to be your girlfriend kills attraction. Almost completely. In some cases it can send her running for the hills depending on her personality. Save that crap for sappy love stories in the theatre...because that is the only place it really seems to ever work :crackup:
I can also say from witnessing other people's experience that the same observation above holds true. Even when it does work out with the girl, it does not seem to last long at all. Some girls have trouble saying "no" and feel obligated for some reason to try to reciprocate your feelings.....and they won't be able to do that for long if the attraction is missing.
The reverse situation where SHE asks you is the ideal scenario. Girls who ask you first are usually very attracted to you for whatever reason (again from my experience). Her asking you builds a solid foundation for a relationship if you want one as long as you play your cards right. However, you should always maintain an active and aggressive position in the relationship and not let her take the lead all the time.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
you could answer then.
or you could ask her now. im a chick and i have been asked "would you like to be my girlfriend" alot. its not like the rest of these guys on here never asked a girl that. come on, they did.
i like the one guy's reply to you about waiting until someone asks you something and say "well i was with my girlfriend or this is my girlfriend." sometimes its easier just to imply it and dont make a big deal about it.
ps. alot of times , certain guys on this site, pick on me because i am a chick. it doesnt neccessarily mean the advise is bad.
Penkitten, how did you and Gio end up being exclusive?
Did Gio say "would you like to be my girlfriend"?
Of course not. Duh. That's why your advice sucks sometimes, because you don't relate it to the real world, and what men have REALLY done that you REALLY got attracted to.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
we seemed to be exclusive from the start. of course neither of us actually said that in the very beginning. however, we did lots of talking before we met because the traveling distance was huge. we both worked and i have children so there really wasnt alot of time for us to be talking to other people at the same time. we just started taking turns visiting each other before we couldnt stand to be apart. we always knew we were a good match .Phyzzle said:
the guy who posted this thread isnt in the same position that we were in.
i do not see anything wrong with either person asking about how their relationship stands and i really do believe that usually if a gal is interested enough, she will define it for you
Well hmmm....
If there is no label that's open field for messing around to happen. If you've been seeing a girl for about a month or 2 and the relationship is defined in its actions, but no label... ur girl is fvcking around or you are...
You can't cheat if you're not bf and gf, when no label both parties can do whatever the fvck they wanna do with no consequences. Until she's your gf, she can date other guys... go party every wknd wit her girls ect... now most of you will say... "fine go head, donn care" but if it was a girl you truly had feelings for you wouldn't want her doing that crap... label that shvt bro... but if u got interest she'll do it for you...
--
My current gf did it in a casual way... "sooo when do two people become bf and gf ?? In Japan its different, i want to understand american way" blahh blahhh, this threw hints she wanted it.... then i juss told her she was my gf one night on the train.... that was that, didn't kill any attraction
-Cod3r
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I've seen that happen when a couple has yet to step into the role of "official couple." You've seen it. She regularly leaves stuff at your place, she asks if you have an extra toothbrush, she leaves with a handful of your boxer briefs because she looks good in boy shorts. Hey, this sh1t happens!!!penkitten said:
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Badmannaz
Master Don Juan
Go with what they said... It keeps the ball in your court...
I ****ed up yesterday... 6th date with this girl and I told her I don't plan on dating anyone else... Basically I thought I was going to get in her pants once she figured we were exclusive (Then she's all mine...) Then later that night I was like do you like your new boyfriend? I shouldn't have said ****... I DIDN'T GET ANY... Maybe she was just on her period... Lesson learned though...
Bronxtal112
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2004
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Best advice on here. It may be tempting to ask for her to stop dating other people. Don't do it.Shiftkey said:
Centaurion
Master Don Juan
This brings up memories from 4th grade.
I have never asked a girl if she wanted to be exclusive. It is something that gradually happens over time.