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Back on the prowl after 14 month monogamy. Seeking the missing keys

SargeMaximus

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So last night I matched with a cute 7/10 nurse or doctor (judging by the pic with her in scrubs and a stethoscope) and I immediately thought of a post I read on here how nurses usually look for the high value males like doctors and such, so going into it I already felt out of my element but anyways I proceeded as normal and she seemed to just get angry at me. Our short convo went like this:

me: hey trouble

her: (a day later) why trouble

me: (about an hour later or something) why not?

her: why not? Ok why not u shut up

me: That’s uncalled for

she read the message and no reply.

I don’t know if this is a **** test or a genuinely angry and put off response by her. I have had this before but obviously, no apologies and no trying to make things right from my end. Seems that one is a dead end.
 

DonJuanjr

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She sounds too full of herself/uptight. After her saying "why trouble", it seems like you missed an opportunity to have made her qualify with a statement, and lighten her mood instead of a question. I would have said something like "because you look naughty/dangerous" I don't know if that would be good text game though... Maybe more experienced djs can chime in.
 

Lookatu

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I read on here how nurses usually look for the high value males like doctors and such

her: why not? Ok why not u shut up
First of all, the nurse thing looking for high value males is absolutely false. I've been out with over half dozen nurses and know people in the field as well. So get that out of your mind. There's also various types of nurses. The RN type is towards the top so they maybe looking for someone either with high smv or someone that brings something to the table.

Sounds like she has a short fuse and is a bitter person(just in general or from being on OLD too long). If her response was followed by some kind of wink or emoji to let you know she was joking around, that would be understandable. But you could've also improved in your texting with better banter/wit IMO.

Unmatch her and move on...
 

SargeMaximus

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First of all, the nurse thing looking for high value males is absolutely false. I've been out with over half dozen nurses and know people in the field as well. So get that out of your mind. There's also various types of nurses. The RN type is towards the top so they maybe looking for someone either with high smv or someone that brings something to the table.

Sounds like she has a short fuse and is a bitter person(just in general or from being on OLD too long). If her response was followed by some kind of wink or emoji to let you know she was joking around, that would be understandable. But you could've also improved in your texting with better banter/wit IMO.

Unmatch her and move on...
Thanks, yeah I’m not good at wit and banter but I’m with you in that she just seems to be bitter and imo not worth the effort.
 

SargeMaximus

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She sounds too full of herself/uptight. After her saying "why trouble", it seems like you missed an opportunity to have made her qualify with a statement, and lighten her mood instead of a question. I would have said something like "because you look naughty/dangerous" I don't know if that would be good text game though... Maybe more experienced djs can chime in.
Yes that’s an interesting perspective. One of the pua tips I’ve incorporated in order to not follow her frame or be dominant is to answer her question with another question. I mostly do it when I don’t see the question as one that needs to be answered. It’s different if a girl asks about stds or birth control for example. In those kinds of cases I answer honestly. But when she’s being a b*tch or trying to gain frame, I answer with another question
 

SargeMaximus

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Damn, I think I lost a girl I just met online. We were talking about fwb and she seemed down. I told her to text me if she was. It took a while and then she did, but she has the same name as another fwb of Mine, so when she texted “hey it’s name” I was like “new phone?” And she’s like “no, why?” And I’m like “because this is a different number than your other one”

then I realized so I texted her again “oh ****, that’s a different name, glad you made it” but she hasn’t responded all day.

Its weird but even as a fwb girls seem to want you to be monogamous
 

SargeMaximus

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Had an interesting interaction online today. This goes with the question of “too much or too little interest” that was brought up in the “Low interest or super guarded” thread.

basically I was talking with this woman and she had said she had just joined the sight and was overwhelmed .
I said “yeah lots of thirsty guys” to which she replied “yeah, except for you. You are the only guy who hasn’t come at me with some line”

I forget what I said in response but she thanked me and I said “Yw” but then ghosted. I tried to reinitiate but still no reply.

I just found it intriguing how by her own admission I wasn’t acting like the other desperate men, yet she wasn’t interested in me. Proof that being too “non-needy” can hinder you at times
 

SargeMaximus

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My brother is acting strange. If I didn't know better I'd think he's afraid of me or feeling guilty towards me about something.

I went on a date with a girl today while he was out of the house. When I got back he was asking where I had been. Sounded like fear in his voice.

Then as I was making food for myself he was like "oh btw you can have as much of that pizza as you want" referring to our weekly pizza we normally split but he randomly paid for this week.

I dunno it just seemed very strange. Out of character.

Then again, lots of changes happening to how people acting towards me lately.

Speaking of, my fwb I have plans to see this weekend, I feel like she's distancing herself from me sometimes, but then a few weeks ago she was telling me how she was afraid she'd say or do the wrong thing and lose me. I told her as long as she kept pleasing me sexually, she wouldn't have to worry about it. Not sure if that was her genuinely voicing her concerns or trying to bait me into saying the same thing.

Reading stuff on this forum can make me see things in a different perspective. Anyhow, off to bed.
 

SargeMaximus

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So fwb has cancelled on me. I’m not surprised tbh. Had a feeling after reading some things in this forum that I was being too eager to see her.

she basically texted saying she’s hitting an emotional wall, whatever that means, and had to “sit in it”.
My money is she means she needs to ride another guys ****.

either way it brings me back to the whole reason I’m on this site: I need to improve my game but I need to do it in ways that are effective.
I already see some things I can improve on from the posts I’ve read here and I’ll keep looking for golden nuggets in the DJ bible.
 

SargeMaximus

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I said “all good, take care of yourself” She replied with “thanks. I’m sorry to be such a bummer”

I didn’t reply
 

SargeMaximus

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I am feeling quite "down" by everything. Especially reading DJ stuff. Makes me realize I'm not being as dominant as I should be. But I'm too lazy to be. Like god damn this will be worse than a full time job if I do everything I'm reading about.

That said, I realized recently I've gotten some good initial hits online and my brother has acted fearful of me, so perhaps there are some subtle dominant changes happening. And I could reframe what happened with my fwb as her fearing to lose me. I'll give things another week but if it's more of the same I'll make some more extreme changes. Till then one of the things I'm going to stop doing online is trying to push things forward. So no offering a number or offering to meet. I'll see if any of the girls offer these things.

The problem is, it's a fine line between being too eager and not being a man who leads the interaction. I honestly don't see the "alpha" middle ground.

In my own practice, I usually offer to meet or a number when I want it, not when I think the woman will think it's not needy. I've always thought that is best but I'm gonna try it and see how it works. I do sense I'm losing some girls from perceived neediness.
 

SargeMaximus

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Just to show how the whole "be the prize, don't rush in" PUA advice is CRAAP:

I'm talking with a poly girl rn on bumble. She messaged me first obviously because it's bumble.

ANYhow, we're talking and as I've noticed with other poly women, they seem to want to be able to f*ck all the men they want while they dislike men who have options. So to get the dynamic back into my favor, as we were talking about how she could manage time for dating with her family responsibilities (she has a few kids) she mentioned how she has baby sitters and family so she was free after 8 most times. So in line with my "not going to make the first move" test this week, AND to test this whole "be the prize, don't rush in" thing, I simply said "Cool. You have potential"

and she's like "potential for what?"

And here I'm thinking "wow, she assumes she's already won me over. Gotta figure out how to change that next girl"

So I say "for dating"

And she's like "lol, okay"

And that's where it ends.

If I WASN'T trying this little experiment, I would most likely have pushed for a meet and either been agreed with or rejected by now.

EDIT: She blocked me. Lol. Love it. More confirmation bias that what I've been doing before learning this PUA **** was the right thing to do all along.
 
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SargeMaximus

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Latest online interaction. Cute 21 year old but definitely one who isn't interested or at least not desperate.

Me: Hey trouble

Her: Trouble ? Lol

Me: Yes

Her: Why?

Me: Squinty eyes

Her: Tf

I didn't reply.
 

SargeMaximus

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Another convo that went nowhere:

me: hey trouble

her: what makes you think I’m trouble? Haha

me: you have a mischievous smile

her: I am quite the handful

me: sounds kinky

her: and that’s the end of the conversation

I blocked her before she could.

I should have countered her question with my own question. I keep forgetting to do that sometimes
 

DonJuanjr

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I think the mischievous smile line was good. Well you got a positive response after that line. Now test different lines building off it. Next time the chick says something along the lines of "I'm a handful" don't go sexual, say something like "I think I can handle you". If that doesn't work try something else. Keep building off the lines that work. I am going to steal that opener, and smile line from you and try building off it also.
 

SargeMaximus

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I think the mischievous smile line was good. Well you got a positive response after that line. Now test different lines building off it. Next time the chick says something along the lines of "I'm a handful" don't go sexual, say something like "I think I can handle you". If that doesn't work try something else. Keep building off the lines that work. I am going to steal that opener, and smile line from you and try building off it also.
Awesome, thanks man. And glad I gave you some ammo.
 
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