asking for advice about uninterested wife

highSpeed

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I am definitely not an expert in this situation. However, I've had many "bored wives" approach me about sex (which I don't do) and I can tell you what they seem to categorically be longing for: passion, excitement, arousal - they want to feel desired.

Also, women tend to mirror back to us what we are presenting to them. So, you must ask yourself if you actually sexually and romantically "want" your wife. If so, how are you or aren't you expressing that?

It's up to you in whatever direction you choose. But if you choose to stay and work on it, I'd suggest working out, become more "masculine energy focused" around her. Take her out of town for the weekend or at least for the night. Talk to her, tell her that you've noticed that you have both been growing apart. Tell her something about how you take responsibility for her not having felt sexy enough and desired around you and then tell her that this all has to change. Tell her how much you desire her, preferably in public, like a restaurant (slow down your voice and keep total eye contact as you do this). Tell her what you are going to do to her. And then take her back to wherever you are staying and do it.

Then, basically starting banging your wife passionately and wantonly as much as possible.

Seriously, this would save so many marriages.

Best of luck with whatever you choose!
I have to tell you, the "they want to be desired" crap is just that, crap. Those women usually have guys at home that desire them. They may go about it the wrong way, but they are desired. They simply want chad to pound them out while they keep the cuck at home to take care of them. I get what you're saying but let's not confuse wanting to be desired for feeling desire. They just don't want what they have at home. It's like wanting to go out for a steak because you don't want to stay home for a sandwich.

What I have honestly found through the course of my experiences is the woman simply wears the guy out. He starts out doing things to show her she's desired but she takes that for granted, gets lazy and he eventually stops doing the things to show her she's desired. She then complains that she's not desired. I mean, why should someone continue to keep trying to show her she's desired when she doesn't reciprocate? It'd be like being expected to keep going to work even though you're not being paid. But that's where the long arm of the law has perverted modern relationships, it forces the man to keep going to work and not get paid. If you have a kid, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation. If you're married, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation.
 
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Epic Days

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I have to tell you, the "they want to be desired" crap is just that, crap. Those women usually have guys at home that desire them. They may go about it the wrong way, but they are desired. They simply want chad to pound them out while they keep the cuck at home to take care of them. I get what you're saying but let's not confuse wanting to be desired for feeling desire. They just don't want what they have at home. It's like wanting to go out for a steak because you don't want to stay home for a sandwich.

What I have honestly found through the course of my experiences is the woman simply wears the guy out. He starts out doing things to show her she's desired but she takes that for granted, gets lazy and he eventually stops doing the things to show her she's desired. She then complains that she's not desired. I mean, why should someone continue to keep trying to show her she's desired when she doesn't reciprocate? It'd be like being expected to keep going to work even though you're not being paid. But that's where the long arm of the law has perverted modern relationships, it forces the man to keep going to work and not get paid. If you have a kid, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation. If you're married, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation.
This is a subject of another world. If men understood what’s going to happen to them, they would never once consider the idea of marriage.
 

highSpeed

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This is a subject of another world. If men understood what’s going to happen to them, they would never once consider the idea of marriage.
Truly right on the money. Most marriages are like a slow motion train wreck. He slows things down by continuing to try hard to get back to where they once were. It's like chasing that initial high at the beginning of the relationship. And the harder he tries, it's almost like she builds up more of a disdain for him. She consider him a simp for working so hard, like some emperor looking down on their loyal subjects with a sort of disdain.

She's now above him and what he wants matters less and less, what he needs is less and less important. Once kids come along, you're a distant third, a distant memory that is only necessary to be paid attention to when the bills need paid, she needs a break for you to watch the kids or generally needs to blow off some steam at your expense. She enjoys undermining him to the kids and her family and if you push back at all, you're branded an abuser.

Could not agree more, no sane man in the west would consider marriage or kids. This is coming from someone who truly enjoys their kids but it is difficult at best to enjoy them with an enemy combatant in my home.
 
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Spaz

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Once a man losses the respect of the wife the marriage is as good as gone.

How a man losses that respect occurs when she losses admiration of him.

In order to maintain a relationship, a man must be in the position of power/leadership and having leadership qualities that empowers people all around you is one of the most admirable quality a man can ever possess.
 

Epic Days

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Truly right on the money. Most marriages are like a slow motion train wreck. He slows things down by continuing to try hard to get back to where they once were. It's like chasing that initial high at the beginning of the relationship. And the harder he tries, it's almost like she builds up more of a disdain for him. She consider him a simp for working so hard, like some emperor looking down on their loyal subjects with a sort of disdain.

She's now above him and what he wants matters less and less, what he needs is less and less important. Once kids come along, you're a distant third, a distant memory that is only necessary to be paid attention to when the bills need paid, she needs a break for you to watch the kids or generally needs to blow off some steam at your expense. She enjoys undermining him to the kids and her family and if you push back at all, you're branded an abuser.

Could not agree more, no sane man in the west would consider marriage or kids. This is coming from someone who truly enjoys their kids but it is difficult at best to enjoy them with an enemy combatant in my home.
There is a whole undercurrent world that is masked from men. She knows when she marries a man, what he is there for. Obtaining the man for his ability to work is a manipulation of the worst kind.

And no, I don’t believe any man is immune to it. Which is why some men bolt.
 

Spaz

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There is a whole undercurrent world that is masked from men. She knows when she marries a man, what he is there for. Obtaining the man for his ability to work is a manipulation of the worst kind.

And no, I don’t believe any man is immune to it. Which is why some men bolt.
Expanding on this post for the benefit of OP.

Marriage should be viewed as a business deal.

The man should continously remind himself the terms of why he entered that business in the 1st place.

If he's not getting pvssy on the regular then she's broken the contract.

If she's barren, contract broken.

If she's traitorous, contract broken.

If she's doesn't amuse you with her cooking, companionship, housekeeping attempts and etc, contract broken.

Contract broken multiple times, end of business for good order, if still there then u r a lousy businessmen that needs more training.

But remember the man must also keep to the contract, his part is offering his strengths and protection.
 

mrgoodstuff

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There is a whole undercurrent world that is masked from men. She knows when she marries a man, what he is there for. Obtaining the man for his ability to work is a manipulation of the worst kind.

And no, I don’t believe any man is immune to it. Which is why some men bolt.
Before red pill men thought being a strong provider was a good deal. Those men would complain about the "scumbags" those women would choose. "Scumbags" with little to no earning potential. Thing about it is "scumbag" made her blood move, her pvssy throb with lust and her desire to light.
 

Epic Days

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Before red pill men thought being a strong provider was a good deal.
True that. Social conditioning. Must keep man working. Keeping his head down and bringing in that money and paying taxes.

I think it should be approached like @Spaz pointed out above. A business arrangement. It can’t work any other way. Doing it for love? Oh please.
 
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Before red pill men thought being a strong provider was a good deal. Those men would complain about the "scumbags" those women would choose. "Scumbags" with little to no earning potential. Thing about it is "scumbag" made her blood move, her pvssy throb with lust and her desire to light.
I make money and I've been called worse then a scumbag by many women, even by my plate who's been with me for 13 years.
 

Dante1a

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I have to tell you, the "they want to be desired" crap is just that, crap. Those women usually have guys at home that desire them. They may go about it the wrong way, but they are desired. They simply want chad to pound them out while they keep the cuck at home to take care of them. I get what you're saying but let's not confuse wanting to be desired for feeling desire. They just don't want what they have at home. It's like wanting to go out for a steak because you don't want to stay home for a sandwich.

What I have honestly found through the course of my experiences is the woman simply wears the guy out. He starts out doing things to show her she's desired but she takes that for granted, gets lazy and he eventually stops doing the things to show her she's desired. She then complains that she's not desired. I mean, why should someone continue to keep trying to show her she's desired when she doesn't reciprocate? It'd be like being expected to keep going to work even though you're not being paid. But that's where the long arm of the law has perverted modern relationships, it forces the man to keep going to work and not get paid. If you have a kid, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation. If you're married, you're on the marriage/relationship plantation.
Well, I can't disagree with a lot of what you said. Although, I don't buy into the chad thing in any respect. I think that showing a woman you desire her has much more to do with subtlely conveying raw sexual intent. The secret is that many women really want to be completely ravished sexually. For all the talk of respect, chivalry, and being a gentleman, what they really want to be pounded by a savage.

I was speaking more to trying to recreate the sexual atmosphere before taking on that role. I am not a married man myself, neither will I ever be again. I've seen through it. And yes, the steak/sandwich thing is real and natural. It's human.
 

Tdawg

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Once a man losses the respect of the wife the marriage is as good as gone.

How a man losses that respect occurs when she losses admiration of him.

In order to maintain a relationship, a man must be in the position of power/leadership and having leadership qualities that empowers people all around you is one of the most admirable quality a man can ever possess.
spot on
 

Poonani Maker

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The reason why I won't get married is because looks with fade with Age, and given women's extreme wishy-washy pickiness on EVERYTHING today with no social deterrents against Acting upon her emotions or "hunches" about you in her mind, that ONE facet of fact about how you're gonna change over time: Age, is like playing with fire, too volatile for you to leave YOUR life in another woman's hands (divorce courts THEFT) unavoidable aging (EVEN THOUGH men like myself age better and are thought more "handsome" with each passing year than the female, she can STILL get it in her mind that "he's not the same (looking) as he was when we first got married...I don't like how he "looks" now...I'm gonna divorce him!! yeah, that's it..." That's just ONE whimsical decision she could make on Your dime, on Your account, Bank account and/or YEARS of hard work, back-breaking work as you near retirement. Other whimsical decisions to Divorce could be based off her Changes in your finances or not meeting her expectations of both of your finances that she held in her mind at the moment of marriage being finalized for life, supposedly. So 10 years later, you're not where she thought you'd be financially 10 years ago when she married you thinking you had more "potential." There are many, many more whimsical decisions of how you've "changed" since first marrying you, that she could say, "Hey, this isn't the man I married, so I'm gonna divorce him Now..wash my hands, I'm done with him." What's to stop her?? Societal ostracism? No. The state? No. Guilty conscience? No. Her family? No. Tinder? No.
 

metalwater

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Expanding on this post for the benefit of OP.

Marriage should be viewed as a business deal.

The man should continously remind himself the terms of why he entered that business in the 1st place.

If he's not getting pvssy on the regular then she's broken the contract.

If she's barren, contract broken.

If she's traitorous, contract broken.

If she's doesn't amuse you with her cooking, companionship, housekeeping attempts and etc, contract broken.

Contract broken multiple times, end of business for good order, if still there then u r a lousy businessmen that needs more training.

But remember the man must also keep to the contract, his part is offering his strengths and protection.
I agree,

As of now, sex is any time any place anywhay I want and with passion. could be fake, but its a good fake if it is. (this has improved). Only limit factor is my ability. It was never completely gone, but for sure headed that way with even some conversations of suggesting it was a good idea to accept being old...

not barren, two great kids.

she has voiced concern of me trumping her smv. (I am very heads down on doing just that, it is just a matter of some time, it will be in months not years). she asked if she can run with me.

I have started tracking her cycle.. it helps to anticipate behavior.

**** testing has reduced alot.. and intensity is much lower.

She spending much more time at home... and often requesting me to accompany her on activity if it is in mixed company.

as for traitorous... I guess it is three category.. past, present,future. I am try to make present and future my interest for this.

I think that the prevailing views on this forum are sound... Like any true blue.. I still hope my case will be one of the exceptions.. they DO exist.. just very rare. Four or five of you will tell that there is no exceptions... and that rings true also...

a lot of work still to do.
 
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Spaz

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I agree,

As of now, sex is any time any place anywhay I want and with passion. could be fake, but its a good fake if it is. (this has improved). Only limit factor is my ability. It was never completely gone, but for sure headed that way with even some conversations of suggesting it was a good idea to accept being old...

not barren, two great kids.

she has voiced concern of me trumping her smv. (I am very heads down on doing just that, it is just a matter of some time, it will be in months not years). she asked if she can run with me.

I have started tracking her cycle.. it helps to anticipate behavior.

**** testing has reduced alot.. and intensity is much lower.

She spending much more time at home... and often requesting me to accompany her on activity if it is in mixed company.

as for traitorous... I guess it is three category.. past, present,future. I am try to make present and future my interest for this.

I think that the prevailing views on this forum are sound... Like any true blue.. I still hope my case will be one of the exceptions.. they DO exist.. just very rare. Four or five of you will tell that there is no exceptions... and that rings true also...

a lot of work still to do.
I've lost track on why I wrote that and I'm just too lazy to reread the whole tread again (after going through my own emails).

But yeah, I normally view relationships as business deals, with 'amusement factor' a critical make or break deal.

Once she has lost her ability to amuse me, I subconsciously find myself slowly but surely withdrawing my strengths and protections.
 

metalwater

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An update, what do you all think?

It seems wife is accommodating me. It is a pretty good accommodation. Any sex I want. Some cooking/laundry and taking care of kids. But complaining about how hard it is, not complain about sex at all but about any other tasks. Truth is it is pretty easy with much more luxury than others around.

Maybe my expectations are wrong. She is about 40 and still decent looking and can compete with younger girls. She ALWAYS comes out on top of any group of girls socially, proven in multiple setting.

What I see.
  • If in a group she is controlling herself if I am present she does not give IOS to others (flirting). Previously she was.
  • If I approach her unexpectedly where she is interacting with ANY guy any SMV level she is what looks like to me hart flirting, giving IOS. What I mean buy this is being within 12 inches of the person. Lots lots of laff and smile and moving rocking back and forth (if a girl is doing this to me I will think she is hot for me). When I approach, usually immediately the guy will step back and always moves his eyes. She will do this even if the other has a wife/gf in sight. Sometimes she will step back but not always when I approach. She insists it is just being friendly and that I should not have low self esteem. I have never ever seen her actually do something that is physically sex with someone else. Is there really a girl that does this that doesn't know any better? I don't see other wife's doing this... Or maybe this is normal...
What I think when I see that.
  • She is giving that guy a lot of attention, and he is loving it. I feel disrespected and that the other guy sees me as a chump. And that it can and should lead to more if the two can be isolated. I wish she would treat me like that.
  • She is not attracted to me
What I hear.

I don't want to kiss you long...

What I think when I hear that.
  • She must be kissing someone else or want to. And the long kiss is too emotional to share with me as she doesn't feel attracted to me. Can anyone give me any other reason for a behavior like that? Remember that the sex part is just completely dependent on me, she will respond to anything for me in this topic. But she is resisting the long kiss.
What she says about it.

We should be happy with what we have because there are real life problems to deal with. And I just don't want to.

What I think when I hear that
  • She doesn't feel attracted to me
  • It is a power play...
  • how important is it for me to worry about... and is it related to the flirting I see. I mean I don't have to have everything my way...
As a side note... I can't think of one time on the last couple of months or longer, that I found her looking at me...

what I am doing to improve.

Red pill marriage.

  • lifting/running
  • better clothes
  • much better grooming
  • lots of STFU (can still improve)
  • working
  • this forum
  • lots of reading...
How do I improve this more.. other than walk away or get a mistress ?

Thanks for any insights.
 

mrgoodstuff

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An update, what do you all think?

It seems wife is accommodating me. It is a pretty good accommodation. Any sex I want. Some cooking/laundry and taking care of kids. But complaining about how hard it is, not complain about sex at all but about any other tasks. Truth is it is pretty easy with much more luxury than others around.

Maybe my expectations are wrong. She is about 40 and still decent looking and can compete with younger girls. She ALWAYS comes out on top of any group of girls socially, proven in multiple setting.

What I see.
  • If in a group she is controlling herself if I am present she does not give IOS to others (flirting). Previously she was.
  • If I approach her unexpectedly where she is interacting with ANY guy any SMV level she is what looks like to me hart flirting, giving IOS. What I mean buy this is being within 12 inches of the person. Lots lots of laff and smile and moving rocking back and forth (if a girl is doing this to me I will think she is hot for me). When I approach, usually immediately the guy will step back and always moves his eyes. She will do this even if the other has a wife/gf in sight. Sometimes she will step back but not always when I approach. She insists it is just being friendly and that I should not have low self esteem. I have never ever seen her actually do something that is physically sex with someone else. Is there really a girl that does this that doesn't know any better? I don't see other wife's doing this... Or maybe this is normal...
What I think when I see that.
  • She is giving that guy a lot of attention, and he is loving it. I feel disrespected and that the other guy sees me as a chump. And that it can and should lead to more if the two can be isolated. I wish she would treat me like that.
  • She is not attracted to me
What I hear.

I don't want to kiss you long...

What I think when I hear that.
  • She must be kissing someone else or want to. And the long kiss is too emotional to share with me as she doesn't feel attracted to me. Can anyone give me any other reason for a behavior like that? Remember that the sex part is just completely dependent on me, she will respond to anything for me in this topic. But she is resisting the long kiss.
What she says about it.

We should be happy with what we have because there are real life problems to deal with. And I just don't want to.

What I think when I hear that
  • She doesn't feel attracted to me
  • It is a power play...
  • how important is it for me to worry about... and is it related to the flirting I see. I mean I don't have to have everything my way...
As a side note... I can't think of one time on the last couple of months or longer, that I found her looking at me...

what I am doing to improve.

Red pill marriage.

  • lifting/running
  • better clothes
  • much better grooming
  • lots of STFU (can still improve)
  • working
  • this forum
  • lots of reading...
How do I improve this more.. other than walk away or get a mistress ?

Thanks for any insights.
All of your situations where a bytch puts you or allows you to be seen in a "weak" position, accept her communications. We shouldn't desire someone with so little respect.

You can't say nothing because it looks weak. All you can do is out her in a worse situation and get her kissing your azz. Is it really worth it?
 

metalwater

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All of your situations where a bytch puts you or allows you to be seen in a "weak" position, accept her communications. We shouldn't desire someone with so little respect.

You can't say nothing because it looks weak. All you can do is out her in a worse situation and get her kissing your azz. Is it really worth it?
Is that a rhetorical question?

I have a lot of interest to make it working. Family, all the setups with that as well as age/old age to come. I also have no confidence that any next.. is any better. This is not my first fail. If I can salvage I really want to. If I just can not and it is just impossible then I must get that into my head.

Is there a concise thread on cluster-b girls? I should try to eliminate that possibility.

Is there the same on how to self diagnose how fckd up I am?

Thanks.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Is that a rhetorical question?

I have a lot of interest to make it working. Family, all the setups with that as well as age/old age to come. I also have no confidence that any next.. is any better. This is not my first fail. If I can salvage I really want to. If I just can not and it is just impossible then I must get that into my head.

Is there a concise thread on cluster-b girls? I should try to eliminate that possibility.

Is there the same on how to self diagnose how fckd up I am?

Thanks.
Talk to some hard core players cause thats whats required. Cheating and lying a bit to flip the dynamic.
 
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