"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Are relationships build?
- Thread starter Gstring
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
SW15
Master Don Juan
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Some of it is cultural programming. Building some sort of extended relationship is a goal of a lot of people in the mating marketplace. Women talking about having relationships isn't weird.
It is less probable that you'll have a relationship if you have first date sex. However, some extended (3+ months) relationships have been formed after first date sex. I have pushed for fast sex over time. There are some in this community that believe in first date sex on all first dates. I don't believe first date sex is ideal sex if your goal is quality sex. It takes a little bit more time in most cases to have the first instance of sex between two people to be higher quality. There are rarer instances where two people will meet, spend 3 hours clothed together, then go have some amazing sex.
Patti Stanger, a high end matchmaker who had her own reality TV show for 5+ years, used to talk about not having sex before the determination of momogamy/exclusivity in relationships as a way of having longer lasting relationships. It's a valid idea. Now, let's look at her bias. Few matchmakers are successful. Most men who go this route end up wasting their money, but most men go to lower end matchmakers. Her clientele was mostly 35+ men who were more beta. Guys who have often been successful in the workplace but not the guys often attracting the most poontang based upon raw animal sexuality.
BackInTheGame78
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Through time and shared experiences, ups and downs etc. I'm not sure how you are confused about it. The same way you build anything...one day at a time, one memory at a time and one experience at a time.
Just agree and amplify and continue onwards. Don't think too much of it.
bat soup
Master Don Juan
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They mean that they want to enjoy a free meal before deciding whether to give you anything in return.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
darksprezzatura
Master Don Juan
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taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
If they are talking about building a relationship, then they aren't in a relationship.
If they are talking about WHEN they meet the right guy, they haven't met the right guy.
Which is hamster fantasizing/rationalizing that it's actually under their control.
Like building a relationship with the right guy is a step by step process like building a birdhouse.
Something that's conditional on meeting the "right guy," which is never going to happen.
Kind of like Hollywood limo drivers are going to build their acting career once they meet the right opportunity.
The only relationships these types of ladies will be building is with their vibrators and their cats.
That said... they dont all look to qualify you. Judge them by their behavior. In my case if her behavior changes..... so will the "relationship".... we will be exclusive and build a relationship until she fuks up...
Epi