Scorpio13c
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2009
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Just want to know from anyone who's experienced one & thoughts in general..
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Scorpio13c said:Are Pre Numps really worth it/valid?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Unless you're an attorney I'd be careful giving legal advice. Prenups are an "alternate marriage contract" that may avoid a presumed 50/50 split of community property at dissolution (I speak for CA here).Bible_Belt said:They only make sense if you carry assets into the marriage. Most people getting married are broke, so a prenup is pointless.
Even if you have a prenup, assets earned by both you and your spouse while married are considered joint marital property. The only exception is a very carefully managed business, set aside by a prenup, to which your wife never has any access or control.
You would also need a good prenup: fair to both sides, she gets a year or two of alimony if you split, and both you and her consult with separate attorneys (req'd in CA). If the prenup agreement does not look fair, the judge will throw it out.
From what I recall from community property law class, you can keep separate property from becoming community property simply by not commingling it. For example, if you have a checking account from before the marriage with your name alone on it, say from an inheritance, you don't put any money earned during the marriage into it, it stays separate.Bible_Belt said:Prenups protect pre-marital assets from becoming joint marital property upon marriage. The only way to shelter income is to set a business aside in the prenup, keep all your income within the business, and never let her touch it.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I agree, that is correct, but my point is that the extent to which the pre-marital assets are not comingled equals the level of protection provided on the prenup. One must be very careful.Zarky said:From what I recall from community property law class, you can keep separate property from becoming community property simply by not commingling it.