"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Approach Anxiety Doing Direct
- Thread starter mangotot
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
escaleraroyal
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2008
- Messages
- 560
- Reaction score
- 43
1. are the people around listening to your conversation? if so, is it everyone? or just one person? do they notice what's happening? what do they see? what do they hear?
for example- i find that sometimes people will notice. and some people won't notice. the people that notice will see me go up to a girl and talk to her. if they're listening, they'll also hear what i'm saying.
2. what are these people thinking? (your guess)
example- i think that some people would be amused by whats happening and take an active interest. this is what i do when i see a guy trying to pick up a girl. i want to critique the guy and see if i can learn anything. or learn from his mistakes.
i also think that some people wouldn't really be that interested.
i think that some people might think i'm a creep.
i think that some people might be amused as if watching a television comedy. they might be chuckling inside.
i think that some people might cheer me on.
3. what is your reaction to them thinking this? (not just anxiety, but also the thoughts that are going on)
example- i don't want to be critiqued by someone else when i'm doing this.
or
i wish people would **** off and mind their own business.
etc
really psychoanalyze whats going on here. and maybe you'll have a clue for how to overcome this anxiety.
many people also have difficulty approaching when there are other people around. you're not alone! i do as well.
Krueg
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2012
- Messages
- 1,278
- Reaction score
- 134
- Age
- 37
Girls who GIVE OUT their number WITHOUT you asking..mean nothing.skinnyguy said:
Women YOU ASK for the number and give you their number are INTERESTED.
If their not interested or the number is "Fake" big fvcking deal, Move On!
Learn things the hard way or PROTECT YOUR HEART!
Side Note: What Rugby11 said earlier.. No Risk, No Reward!