"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Ambiguity
- Thread starter wildchild
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
alphamale1
Don Juan
Something like this (shortened):
'You know when you are having a great kiss, and you get THAT feeling, at times like that its hard not to focus in on WHERE that feeling flows next'
Its effective because you are allowing the woman to fill in her own details, rather than substituting in your own understanding. It also gives an implied message that you are someone who understands how to make her feel this way. An AFC would say the sentance this way:
'You know when you are having a great kiss, and you get that feeling of butterflys in your stomach, when you feel that way, you may also notice a heat flush'
The statement may be true, but its not as effective.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
spidersense
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2005
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The same could not be said for some of the other 'gurus' such as DeAngelo whose C+F takes months to get right, and actually cost me a number of nice oppertunities.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Does the fact I said it takes months to get right, not imply that I spent months getting it right? Because I did.
Does the fact that I said it cost me a couple of oppertunities not imply that I made **** ups at the start? Because I did.
Just to clearup the issue, Deangelo was my starting point on this whole scene, I respect his 'inner-game' stuff - this was very useful. I also respect his structured approach.
The thread was about ambiguity, which we agreed Ross was very good at. I also think the NLP works great depending on your starting point, mine was from a DD background.
Check your facts before you shoot in future, there is no harm in learning from as many sources as possible so long as you actually go out and put the knowledge into practice.
abcd_z
Senior Don Juan
http://www.fastseduction.com
Posters like Gunwitch, Formhandle, ijjjjji, Mystery, and TylerDurden all spring to mind. Each one has their own unique style that incorporates techniques learned from others, and each one has a sh*tload more tools to learn from than just "neg-hits, C+F, and RJ-style". There's that stuff too, but...well, just check it out.