"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ambiguity
- Thread starter wildchild
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
alphamale1
Don Juan
Something like this (shortened):
'You know when you are having a great kiss, and you get THAT feeling, at times like that its hard not to focus in on WHERE that feeling flows next'
Its effective because you are allowing the woman to fill in her own details, rather than substituting in your own understanding. It also gives an implied message that you are someone who understands how to make her feel this way. An AFC would say the sentance this way:
'You know when you are having a great kiss, and you get that feeling of butterflys in your stomach, when you feel that way, you may also notice a heat flush'
The statement may be true, but its not as effective.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
spidersense
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2005
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- Age
- 45
The same could not be said for some of the other 'gurus' such as DeAngelo whose C+F takes months to get right, and actually cost me a number of nice oppertunities.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Does the fact I said it takes months to get right, not imply that I spent months getting it right? Because I did.
Does the fact that I said it cost me a couple of oppertunities not imply that I made **** ups at the start? Because I did.
Just to clearup the issue, Deangelo was my starting point on this whole scene, I respect his 'inner-game' stuff - this was very useful. I also respect his structured approach.
The thread was about ambiguity, which we agreed Ross was very good at. I also think the NLP works great depending on your starting point, mine was from a DD background.
Check your facts before you shoot in future, there is no harm in learning from as many sources as possible so long as you actually go out and put the knowledge into practice.
abcd_z
Senior Don Juan
http://www.fastseduction.com
Posters like Gunwitch, Formhandle, ijjjjji, Mystery, and TylerDurden all spring to mind. Each one has their own unique style that incorporates techniques learned from others, and each one has a sh*tload more tools to learn from than just "neg-hits, C+F, and RJ-style". There's that stuff too, but...well, just check it out.