I turn 32 en of November. I have a 5 year old son. Me and his mom broke up 4 years ago. I spent the last 4 years getting into good shape, learning mma, buying me a nice condo, and secured a 6 figure job. I dated a few girls here and there on the mean time and have come to realize I’m too naive when it comes to women. I found this forum and wanted to dedicate my life now at 32 to getting good with woman. Whenever I start seeing a woman and I don’t feel much interest in they become super clingy but when I see a woman I’m very interested in I can feel their interest fading. It sucks that I have to play the is game but I realize my behavior is greatly affecting the level of affection these women feel for me. It’s like I have to fabricate disinterest or create such an abundance that I don’t feel the need to perform for any of them. Anyways, can you guys give me some good advice on how to kick off. I guess I would need to find a way to go on as many dates as possible with as many woman to start with. What’s the best way to achieve this.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
About to be 32 and single af
- Thread starter Pacman50
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
This is my experience. I don't like to perform.
I am a fairly attractive man, well placed financially and I own my own things.
This is the basis.
Now, let's get to the point: we need to have sex.
The problem: It's not easy.
I'm not a lover of dating, in fact I hate having to take the girl for a "ride on the rides" only to then want to f0ck her. What I mean is, I would like to just f0ck.
I go out there, I'm looking for an attractive girl, she's single currently and I want to f0ck her.
I don't want to take her for a walk, for a drink, to a restaurant.
"Dear woman, I want a healthy and beautiful f0ck with you, a bit of company and a bit of intimacy, are you too on the same road?"
Well, this is what I want, not a relationship, but for some reason I have difficulty completing the fulfillment of this desire of mine.
Wonder how you guys fixed it.
Plinco
Master Don Juan
As far as attracting women, women want men they respect; live life the way you see fit (like taking care of your son, doing the kind of work you want to do, looking the way you want to look, etc), that includes approaching the kind of women you're attracted to without hesitation. In other words, learn how to respect yourself, possibly in ways that you're currently unaware.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
You're not too old to compete. I did it at your age. How's your jits? If you go to a NAGA tournament, they are all lying sand baggers, just fyi.
Clockwerk50
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2023
- Messages
- 2,355
- Reaction score
- 2,433
- Age
- 41
I don't like posts like these because they're a waste of everyone's time, both the writer's and the readers'.
OP, you need to provide more context. How exactly do you show interest? What types of women are you dating? And why do you feel the need to go on as many dates as possible with as many women as possible when, as you already mentioned, you have women showing interest in you whom you're simply not interested in?
There's so much information missing that it's impossible to establish a starting point or offer meaningful advice on what you actually need to work on.
If you're looking for somewhere to start, there are several prerequisite guides you should read, such as the DJ Bible and The Red Pill Side Bar. Those will at least give you a foundation to work from, regardless of how much advice you receive here.
OP, you need to provide more context. How exactly do you show interest? What types of women are you dating? And why do you feel the need to go on as many dates as possible with as many women as possible when, as you already mentioned, you have women showing interest in you whom you're simply not interested in?
There's so much information missing that it's impossible to establish a starting point or offer meaningful advice on what you actually need to work on.
If you're looking for somewhere to start, there are several prerequisite guides you should read, such as the DJ Bible and The Red Pill Side Bar. Those will at least give you a foundation to work from, regardless of how much advice you receive here.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
this you can definitely pull ; I do ~
not every girl wants to go on the date and you don’t want to do that as well -
I cannot out into words but the answer is yes you can have good times with girls and not up on dating
BackInTheGame78
Moderator
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2014
- Messages
- 17,049
- Reaction score
- 19,437
No. You have to emotionally self regulate yourself. Big difference.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,601
- Reaction score
- 11,673
This is why it's hard. You and @Cheeky_James want to skip the song and dance part and get right to the fuhking. Thats why guys like me end up in bed with the girl later that nite and you two go home with nothing.
I don't think there is anything hard about it. I simply enjoy the seduction part. In fact it has gotten so easy that I have to tell myself I don't need to go home with some random girl.
Gamisch
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 2, 2022
- Messages
- 5,391
- Reaction score
- 6,295
I agree with the post above mine.
Gotta think in REVERSE; sex might mean everything to you ,but "nothing " to a woman..similarly cuddling might be meaningless to you while it means the world to her...gotta find the middle ground .
For decades ( modern dating let's say from the 60/70's) men got girlfriends to get their needs met. Nothing more nothing less. Yes that means talking on the phone for 30 minutes sometimes. Taking her out. Buying flowers. Answering to her insecurities. Meeting her family and friends..
Thats the quickest way to get steady sex. If you are " that guy" you might get a feck buddy. But even in that case you'll learn how fickle women are. She might be a sl-ut to you, but she still gonna want a boyfriend sooner or later. If you indeed are that guy you would replace her in a heartbeat or even better; you got a roster. Judging from your question..you lack something.
Gotta think in REVERSE; sex might mean everything to you ,but "nothing " to a woman..similarly cuddling might be meaningless to you while it means the world to her...gotta find the middle ground .
For decades ( modern dating let's say from the 60/70's) men got girlfriends to get their needs met. Nothing more nothing less. Yes that means talking on the phone for 30 minutes sometimes. Taking her out. Buying flowers. Answering to her insecurities. Meeting her family and friends..
Thats the quickest way to get steady sex. If you are " that guy" you might get a feck buddy. But even in that case you'll learn how fickle women are. She might be a sl-ut to you, but she still gonna want a boyfriend sooner or later. If you indeed are that guy you would replace her in a heartbeat or even better; you got a roster. Judging from your question..you lack something.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,601
- Reaction score
- 11,673
No, I like putting effort into something. The thrill for me comes before she drops her panties, not after.
BackInTheGame78
Moderator
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2014
- Messages
- 17,049
- Reaction score
- 19,437
Dedicating your life to women? That's a pretty big failure if a life of that's your goal, IMO.
You should be dedicating your life to maximizing your potential, which would automatically improve your results with women in many ways. And most importantly, the step not enough people actually work hard enough on, changing your mindset.
Because you can lose weight, 5x your income, buy better clothes, drive a fancy car, get a better haircut, and do all sorts of other things to make you objectively more attractive to women, but if you don't spend time working on changing your mindset, you will still be the same person with the same belief system and the same internal views of who you are as the person who was overweight, broke, had crappy clothes and a bad haircut. And that's a much bigger problem than most men realize.
You can change your external situation much faster than you can change your internal beliefs about yourself. And for most men, that's what is holding them back with women far more than the external factors. Because then they become incongruent to women...they portrays themselves one way, but their internal belief system shows women they do not believe they are who they claim to be.
Essentially it is backwards thinking.
And eventually without fail, you will always become what your internal belief system thinks you are regardless of what you think your external resources make you.
You should be dedicating your life to maximizing your potential, which would automatically improve your results with women in many ways. And most importantly, the step not enough people actually work hard enough on, changing your mindset.
Because you can lose weight, 5x your income, buy better clothes, drive a fancy car, get a better haircut, and do all sorts of other things to make you objectively more attractive to women, but if you don't spend time working on changing your mindset, you will still be the same person with the same belief system and the same internal views of who you are as the person who was overweight, broke, had crappy clothes and a bad haircut. And that's a much bigger problem than most men realize.
You can change your external situation much faster than you can change your internal beliefs about yourself. And for most men, that's what is holding them back with women far more than the external factors. Because then they become incongruent to women...they portrays themselves one way, but their internal belief system shows women they do not believe they are who they claim to be.
Essentially it is backwards thinking.
And eventually without fail, you will always become what your internal belief system thinks you are regardless of what you think your external resources make you.
Last edited:
You found your wife, attracted her, proposed, she said yes. married her, got her pregnant, she delivered a healthy baby, and now you have a five year old son.
Why are you confused in what to do now?
Great answer! Got me thinking. This is what’s holding me back. How do I actively work on this?
Poonstra
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2018
- Messages
- 289
- Reaction score
- 248
- Age
- 48
Was is always the case or did your perspective change at a certain point?
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,601
- Reaction score
- 11,673
I've never ever made it my mission to fuhk some girl, however a more experienced me started enjoying the process that led up to the sex more and more. Basically the more I knew and understood about women, the more I wanted to use my new skills.
If your mission is to have simply have sex, realize its not sustainable and is very short lived. Its like playing video games on level 1. And after you have had sex with "x" number of women, what's the thrill anyways? Learning what makes an individual tick and why they think like they do is a lot more interesting as there are many levels to that game.
I'm a thrill of the hunt guy, not a fire the kill shot at Bambi guy. Thats too easy. You'll miss out on a lot of women operating like that as well. There are very few girls that are looking for quick & easy, get to the point no-strings sex.
Last edited:
Ahaha, look like you really love than phase.
I wonder if I can too.
I just like to be focused on my own things you know?
I've always thought that to be a feminine thing to do.. It's like playing with dolls, and rather, riding a motorbike.
I go for the latter.
@The Duke
You know women better than I do, but from my limited experience, I've learned that some are more direct than others.
From what little I know, women who like men like you—that is, who do a bit of push and pull, and like to be chased, and they like to chase a bit, etc., etc.—are somewhat insecure and indirect women.
These women are good for short-term sex and relationships.
Of course, all women want a bit of that "romance" at the beginning, but I've found that the more direct and less indirect women, the ones who can also verbalize what they want to do with you, without waiting for you to seduce them for it, are better suited to becoming people with whom you can then establish a lasting bond, with fewer problems, and less drama.
The indirect women who are "turned on" by a "push/pull" man are often the ones who are most traumatized, and who will inject a lot of drama and test the relationship.
They're also the ones who will get bored more often and sooner in the relationship because the "fire" is gone.
They're also the ones who will cheat more often because they're always seeking validation from other men, when they don't get it from their husband/boyfriend.
I expect you to debate this perspective of mine.
I have a lot of respect for you, friend.
Look like you've made effort to improve.
Which practical steps to this?
What it will look like when you're changing that?
Last edited: