"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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about "dressing well"

myfriendblu

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Originally posted by Soma
Ok, here are a few pictures of myself that were recently taken. Two completely different styles but that's normal for me. Each day I dress in a different style. It's fun and you learn a lot about yourself.









-Soma
Hey, thanks for the idea.....the button up with the sleeveless sweater looked really friggen cool on you. I would ditch the black on black look though(tank top and black pants)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Spike_the_cowboy

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Originally posted by myfriendblu
I would ditch the black on black look though(tank top and black pants)

Attention cops, I'm a bad bad man. I'm wearing all black all over my body -- why even my tatoos are black too. Arrest me pronto!

No offence, but your all black look is going to be offensive to most people. You look alot like a mugger in that getup, Soma. Also, never show too much skin when picking up chicks. You'll scare them away. You wan't her number, not her purse.



:D
 

Dirtheart

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Soma: Your pics show you have good, varied and individual style. I like the 3rd outfit the most (very chic) and the jewellery complements it well. The hat also suits the outfit, but is a bit too flamboyant for my tastes.
 

chicksrock

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Originally posted by Soma
Ok, here are a few pictures of myself that were recently taken. Two completely different styles but that's normal for me. Each day I dress in a different style. It's fun and you learn a lot about yourself.









-Soma

SOMA you are a FVCKING PIMP DADDY MY FRIEND !
that's FVCKING awesome style
I like the 3rd pic the best
you look amazingly stylish .. CHICKS WOULD BE FALLING FOR YOU LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE IN THAT OUTFIT!
FVUK ..you are a super DJ..
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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Look, all I'm saying is that if Soma walked up to me on the street dressed like a ninja I'd be on my guard. Thats all.:D
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Soma

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Thanks for the compliments.

No worries if the style is not for you. It's my own personal style and it's what works for me, as it expresses different sides of my personality.

Find what works for you and run with it. Also, try pushing your comfort zones. In time you may find that what you once thought was too "out there" for you, is actually a natural extension of your personality. What you were once too afraid to express, now feels good to you.

Like I said, you learn a lot about yourself. :)

-Soma


*Edit*

Just noticed this...

"No offence, but your all black look is going to be offensive to most people. You look alot like a mugger in that getup, Soma. Also, never show too much skin when picking up chicks. You'll scare them away. You wan't her number, not her purse."

Heheh, I'm sure you have good intentions but what you say is silly. To a certain extent, I don't care if my clothes offend people (Of course I won't wear something that says something racist, etc.), I wear what I like and feel good in. Why are you so worried about hurting someones feelings by the way you dress?

Also, you've been misled...showing skin is not a bad thing. On the contrary, it's a good thing. When did you become so concerned with being conservative and putting other peoples desires in front of your own?
 

Derek Flint

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Much of it depends on the environment, the age of the girls/women and the quality of the girls/women you are looking to attract.

Soma's post was just about dead-on.

And women will give you more attention when you are dressed more formally in most cases.

But when in doubt, it's always better to be over-dressed than under-dressed.
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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I've learned the hard way not to make myself a target by police, gangs, etc. And yeah, showing off too much skin can be a bad thing if you are going for more mature women. But if teeny boopers are your thing, go right ahead. Be warned though, that they don't know what they want -- they need MTV and Britney Spears to decide that for them.

Don't get me wrong, I have muscle and I love to show it off. But that won't get you laid, bro. Attitude does. Style helps.

I don't "walk on egg shells" as you suggest. I just don't stick my neck out and ask for it to be choped off needlessly. I'm not telling you how to dress or live your life, I'm just saying that the 'flamboyant ninja' look might not be the best way to go about it.

And if you walked up on me dressed like that in a dark alley, it would not be stupid of me to consider that you might be a mugger or something. So just be careful. I once dressed alot like you and I've got the scares to prove it.


I might dress like that when I workout, but not when I go out.
 
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Soma

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Hahah, dude, what makes you think I'd walk up to someone in a dark alley? Really, it would be stupid of anyone to be in a dark alley needlessly.

I don't doubt it when you say you have muscles and have been in fights. But that's besides the point. You're letting your negative thoughts get the best of you, man. Ease up, and have a little fun. You might enjoy yourself!

As for mature/young women. It's all boils down to one thing...which you actually alluded to...attitude. Every woman, young or old, deep down, wants an aggressive man to take charge and make her feel like a little girl again. Saying that showing skin won't work with older women is wrong. I've seen it with my own eyes, and I've experienced it on quite a few occassions. The older women are actually easier to charm than the younger ones cause they LONG for some stud to make them feel good. The mature women are dying to know that they are still sexy. Easy peasy.

Old or young...it's all good.


-Soma
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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Only a moron would brag about being in a fight, Soma. You've missed my point. I was not trying to impress you -- thats beta territory. I'm not here for the p!ssing contests.

Showing flesh is what chicks use on us, not vice versa. You also don't want to come on too strong and scare them all away. Women might PRETEND to be interested in you just to show off for their pack of girlfriends, but they will never truly respect you or take you seriously if you dress like that.

After all, do we really respect women who dress like ho's?

No. We don't.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Julian

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Im diggin the black leather jacket your wearing.. where'd you get it?
 

Soma

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Spike, my man, IMO, you're way off. Regardless, you and I have two different viewpoints and neither of us is going to change the others mind. You have your experiences and I have mine. Let's leave it be.

Julian,

I got the jacket in L.A. at that mall that looks like a castle, right off the freeway. It was a leather jacket store. I don't know the name of the mall, I was just visiting the area. Oh, fyi, it's a woman's jacket, racer style, haha! If you can dig it, check out the womens clothing sections for some phuckin stylish leather jackets. But make sure you get the ones the come straight down, NOT the ones that are flared for a woman's hips. Of course, you'll have to get the XL size or maybe even XXL if you're an average to big guy, which makes it kinda hard at times. Oh...you may get some weird looks from the women there when you try on the jacket...hahahhahaha...I get it all the time...but if you play it cool and really don't give a shiet you can pull these girls for number or phuck closes. Just run normal game. It's pretty easy actually. And no, I'm not talking about warpigs here, haha. 8's and 9's. Then again, you may have good game already and don't need my advice! Take it for what it's worth. :)

Yabba dabba doo.

-Soma
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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LoL. Yeah, leave it be. Live and learn.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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mrbrooklyn

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WOmen love seeing a man's body. If you got the body flaunt it. I get much more IOI when I am wearing a form fitting t-shirt than when I am wearing my long sleeved banana republic shirts. Women will come up to you and touch your chest and abs. At this point all you have to do is show her you have a personality and you showed be golden. Soma I like your style. The only exception is when you are in the "Guito" clubs in NY where every guy has a dark sleeveless shirt and white gold chain.
 

chicksrock

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I liked the leather jacket too
 

Raven125

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I actually liked somas black outfit... It was pretty sweet.
 

Tai

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Hey dude, can you tell us where you got your gear?
 

Soma

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Sure. Some people may be wondering about the prices so I'll put them also, as best I can remember...

Black outfit...

Beanie
Oakley Vault -$20

Necklace
Made it myself - $2 for materials

Tank Top
Gap - $15

Leather jacket
Mexican leather jacket store at an outlet mall in LA. The mall right off the freeway that looks like a castle - On sale for $180, normally $225.

Rings
One set from Clairs in the mall for $3. The other ring from Hot Topic in the mall for $15

Watch
Kenneth Cole - Unknown price, received as a gift from a girl I was dating

Belt
Hot Topic $20

Pants
Kenneth Cole - On sale for $90, normally $120

Shoes
Kenneth Cole - $85



70's outfit...

Paperboy hat
Unknown store on Haight St in SF - $25

Necklace
Made it myself - $2 for materials

Collared shirt
Vintage second-hand store on Haight in SF - $8

Felt Vest
Vintage second-hand store on Haight in SF - $5

Leather Jacket (Not seen in other pics. I'll post the link here)
http://i.myspace.com/50/43/193405/11853681_l.JPG
Vintage second-hand store on Haight in SF - $15 (yes, only $15)

Ring
Unknown online Gothic store - $23

Watch (Same as the one from the black outfit)
Kenneth Cole - Unknown price, received as a gift from a girl I was dating

Corduroy pants
Guess - $65

Belt
Cowboy appareal store on Haight St in SF - $5

Leather boots
Some unknown mexican store in LA - $15



If I post more pics of myself later, I'll provide the info for those outits. As you can see I get my clothes from everywhere so there isn't just one place I can tell you to go to.


*edit* People always ask me about prices on the tats, their meaning, and the piercing so here it is...

Lip Piercing - $60

Tattoos
1) Back of my neck (not seen in pics). Kanji character that says "Chi" - $55
2) From my neck to wrist. A Tibetan prayer written in Sanskrit. - $450




Pieces!



-Soma
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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