"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
A DJ Theory: Mathematically Proven! (now with calculator)
- Thread starter HuuBinh
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
Yotsuya-san
Senior Don Juan
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
Vroomfondel
Yotsuya-san
Senior Don Juan
Now that I think of it...Planet I heard of called called....Logopolis. They can create the perfect chick using block transfer computation. Don't know if they got over that bit with the Master, though.
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
Vroomfondel
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
you forgot about the quasi-convexity conditions; the second order conditions for local maxima/minima; and the non-linear time constraints. drop the logs and move it over to continuous-time stochastics. i think we'd better understand the inverse relationship between time spent and IL.
if you would have applied the neo-classical Von Neumann/Morgenstern risk axioms in the matrix algebra framework, you would be on the right track.
i have already completed this proof whilst i was whacking off last night.
i am now working on the Nash Bargaining Solution, applied to getting easy pvssy.
but i can't seem to get the continuous-time stochastics straight. any thoughts? i'm looking to get it published in the Journal of the American Frustrated Chump.
otherwise, your proof is perfect. kudos.
you must be an economist.
it's posts like these that keep me comin' back!!! i think he was actually serious. what a crack up.
hey moderators---MAKE THIS A STICKY!!!
rgeere
Master Don Juan
Just enjoy it for what it is worth for a good laugh, and move on.
Alexis Zorba
Don Juan
Come on guys give the man a friggin break? Can't anyone like math? Just as some of you may like sports, reading, writing, there are people who absolutely love math. They do math just for fun. Don't attack him just because you can't see the fun in doing Calculus (hey I can't either. what a shame...
). -Looking at my hairy palm-: What was that again?
Amen to that.
Alexis Zorba
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Superman X
Banned
hahahahaha
This thread is great.
-Dan
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
I love the humor in this post.
true|hockey
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2003
- Messages
- 153
- Reaction score
- 0
Non-Cooperative Game theory maybe, which is used in economics. The idea is to analyze choice rather than variables, it won john nash a nobel prize in the 90's. It is actually very applicable in social instances, especially with coopertive (wingman and the like) and non coopertive situations (a bunch of chumps ruining it for you).
I for one am scared to think that these things are actually modeled mathematically.
First, the parabolic. Then keep in mind Ulricks post. Although, Ulrick, I think that using the neo-classical Von Neumann/Morgenstern risk axioms, in this situation, is a bit simplistic.
Don't you think?
Look at Dirac's postulate of non-communicativitiness. That seems to keep the divergencess at the singularities down to a nugatory level.
Applied to the 4-th dimensional multiplicital-derivative (that is e to the integral of the log of the function from a to b, divided by b minus a), this conjecture seems to imply a double convexity of the topological hull of the projected data, sufficient to converge the 2nd order derivatives to unity, while refracting the 3rd orders at these points to infinity. (Which is what all girls want! Duh!)
So, using your modulated theory, I ran a simulation on my associates supercomputer, and we came up with the constant for women:
W=01010011011010110110010101100101011101000010110000100000011100110110101101100101011001010111010000101100001000000111001101101011011001010110010101110100001011000010000001110011011010110110010101100101011101000010110000100000011100110110101101100101011001010111010000100001
Pardon the binary, but since man and women can be viewed as positive and negative entities interacting in a discontinuous, yet paridoxically enclosed environment, we felt it was justified.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
May thou continually drool within the presence of faded 90's era claudia shiffard pics and posters, my liege. Thou art a father to all who seek thy divine presence ohh great digerati. Thou mayest live long and prosper, and napster forevermore.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
On a serious note a real computer geek would not fall for this being binary. Binary doesn't look like this.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I found an equation of my own...
First, we all know that women take time and money.
Woman = Time * Money
The cliche says, 'time is money'
Time = Money
Therefore,
Woman = Money * Money = Money^2 (Or squared)
And because money is the root of all evil
Money = Sqrt(Evil)
Therefore,
Woman = (Sqrt(Evil))^2
And we are forced to conclude that
Woman = Evil
However, because we make the root squared we must give the absolute value
Woman = |evil|
Or Woman = Absolute Evil
Beat that b!tch!! *snaps fingers aggressively*
rgeere
Master Don Juan
That's old, someone had put a picture of a paper with that written on it as a wallpaper on one of the computers in a lab here at my university a few months ago.
Evil-Rom
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2003
- Messages
- 858
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 39
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I know its old... it's kinda lame also.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.