"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
A DJ Theory: Mathematically Proven! (now with calculator)
- Thread starter HuuBinh
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
Yotsuya-san
Senior Don Juan
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
Vroomfondel
Yotsuya-san
Senior Don Juan
Now that I think of it...Planet I heard of called called....Logopolis. They can create the perfect chick using block transfer computation. Don't know if they got over that bit with the Master, though.
"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"
Vroomfondel
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
you forgot about the quasi-convexity conditions; the second order conditions for local maxima/minima; and the non-linear time constraints. drop the logs and move it over to continuous-time stochastics. i think we'd better understand the inverse relationship between time spent and IL.
if you would have applied the neo-classical Von Neumann/Morgenstern risk axioms in the matrix algebra framework, you would be on the right track.
i have already completed this proof whilst i was whacking off last night.
i am now working on the Nash Bargaining Solution, applied to getting easy pvssy.
but i can't seem to get the continuous-time stochastics straight. any thoughts? i'm looking to get it published in the Journal of the American Frustrated Chump.
otherwise, your proof is perfect. kudos.
you must be an economist.
it's posts like these that keep me comin' back!!! i think he was actually serious. what a crack up.
hey moderators---MAKE THIS A STICKY!!!
rgeere
Master Don Juan
Just enjoy it for what it is worth for a good laugh, and move on.
Alexis Zorba
Don Juan
Come on guys give the man a friggin break? Can't anyone like math? Just as some of you may like sports, reading, writing, there are people who absolutely love math. They do math just for fun. Don't attack him just because you can't see the fun in doing Calculus (hey I can't either. what a shame...
). -Looking at my hairy palm-: What was that again?
Amen to that.
Alexis Zorba
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Superman X
Banned
hahahahaha
This thread is great.
-Dan
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
I love the humor in this post.
true|hockey
Don Juan
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Non-Cooperative Game theory maybe, which is used in economics. The idea is to analyze choice rather than variables, it won john nash a nobel prize in the 90's. It is actually very applicable in social instances, especially with coopertive (wingman and the like) and non coopertive situations (a bunch of chumps ruining it for you).
I for one am scared to think that these things are actually modeled mathematically.
First, the parabolic. Then keep in mind Ulricks post. Although, Ulrick, I think that using the neo-classical Von Neumann/Morgenstern risk axioms, in this situation, is a bit simplistic.
Don't you think?
Look at Dirac's postulate of non-communicativitiness. That seems to keep the divergencess at the singularities down to a nugatory level.
Applied to the 4-th dimensional multiplicital-derivative (that is e to the integral of the log of the function from a to b, divided by b minus a), this conjecture seems to imply a double convexity of the topological hull of the projected data, sufficient to converge the 2nd order derivatives to unity, while refracting the 3rd orders at these points to infinity. (Which is what all girls want! Duh!)
So, using your modulated theory, I ran a simulation on my associates supercomputer, and we came up with the constant for women:
W=01010011011010110110010101100101011101000010110000100000011100110110101101100101011001010111010000101100001000000111001101101011011001010110010101110100001011000010000001110011011010110110010101100101011101000010110000100000011100110110101101100101011001010111010000100001
Pardon the binary, but since man and women can be viewed as positive and negative entities interacting in a discontinuous, yet paridoxically enclosed environment, we felt it was justified.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
May thou continually drool within the presence of faded 90's era claudia shiffard pics and posters, my liege. Thou art a father to all who seek thy divine presence ohh great digerati. Thou mayest live long and prosper, and napster forevermore.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
On a serious note a real computer geek would not fall for this being binary. Binary doesn't look like this.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I found an equation of my own...
First, we all know that women take time and money.
Woman = Time * Money
The cliche says, 'time is money'
Time = Money
Therefore,
Woman = Money * Money = Money^2 (Or squared)
And because money is the root of all evil
Money = Sqrt(Evil)
Therefore,
Woman = (Sqrt(Evil))^2
And we are forced to conclude that
Woman = Evil
However, because we make the root squared we must give the absolute value
Woman = |evil|
Or Woman = Absolute Evil
Beat that b!tch!! *snaps fingers aggressively*
rgeere
Master Don Juan
That's old, someone had put a picture of a paper with that written on it as a wallpaper on one of the computers in a lab here at my university a few months ago.
Evil-Rom
Master Don Juan
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So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I know its old... it's kinda lame also.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.