"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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3rd annual Anti-approach anxiety competition

Plutoman

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Walk up to girl.

"Put your number in my phone." x7.

Done. Easy!

Okay, I haven't done it myself. I'm sitting and studying till tomorrow evening after I finish exams, then I'll knock this out.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

coachD

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A couple of questions. I'm not trying to hijack.

1. Any of you approach in the grocery store? I'd like to do this but it just seems odd. Any advice is appreciated.

2. I had an HB8 in my report that was giving me serious eye contact, but she was with a dude. How would you handle that? I feel like I missed an opportunity as she made it clear she was interested in me. But I didn't know how to handle the dude.
 

Masculinity

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Packers2010 said:
i'm just going to open with the " hey give me your number" 3 times then boom
That's weak. An important aspect of cold approaching is gaining social skills and increasing the number of approaches including their quality. Simply saying "hey, give me your number" is a proxy for hiding in the caves of one's fears and insecurities. In other words, it is completing the technical side of this week's challenge without learning anything--a stagnation effect at best. It is like getting an "A" by cheating on an exam--looks good on paper, but worthless in reality.
 

Plutoman

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coachD said:
A couple of questions. I'm not trying to hijack.

1. Any of you approach in the grocery store? I'd like to do this but it just seems odd. Any advice is appreciated.

2. I had an HB8 in my report that was giving me serious eye contact, but she was with a dude. How would you handle that? I feel like I missed an opportunity as she made it clear she was interested in me. But I didn't know how to handle the dude.
1 - Ask about a food item. If you are shopping near here, just go "Hey, can you help me? I was told about some recipe using this, but I can't remember what exactly it was.." - or - "Do you know of any good recipes for this? I was told to cook something up with it, but I've got no idea what to make." - or - "Help a guy out here, which flavor do you recommend?" - or - "That's an interesting choice, what are you making with that?" (has to be loud enough that she knows you are speaking to her, and clear).

Any of those have potential to jump into conversation on food, tangent into anything really. "I had this holiday dinner with this, this.." etc etc. Anything can be used fairly easily.

2 - Not sure on the context. Describe the situation more?

Robyn; I somewhat disagree on the direct approach. Having the confidence to make a direct approach can dramatically help confidence in making an indirect approach. It all depends on context. I'd recommend every guy make a few direct approaches, straight-up. It takes more confidence, imo, than making an unobtrusive comment and trying to start a conversation.

That said, I agree in that it doesn't build or improve the social skills, which is a definite point of this competition. It will help confidence levels, though, which can indirectly assist the social skills. If I'd make a suggestion, you could say that a direct approach needs a follow-up, which I'd argue is just as beneficial as an indirect approach with a decent length conversation.

I got one in today, the only cute girl in my age range that was in starbucks right now. She was definitely not interested in talking though, she tried closing the conversation like 3 times, which I kind of deliberately ignored to keep her talking. Maybe will re-open her another time, who knows, may run into her again if she's studying in the bux. But anyways.. my summary comes later.
 

coachD

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Cool thanks Pluto.

The thing Packers is talking about seems kind of like the Good Looking Loser approach. I guess there's good and bad to it. If you do it enough you've got a numbers advantage. That'd probably be great if you live in NYC and can troll the streets. But not in the suburbs.
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Packers2010

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Gray The Prince said:
Wait, what?
some girl started talking to me, then a dude started talking to me asking me questions. it's was a bit alarming. couldn't tell if he was gay or not. maybe he was.

i'm calling it a 3some pick up. maybe i'm just saving face.
 

Packers2010

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Robyn923b said:
That's weak. An important aspect of cold approaching is gaining social skills and increasing the number of approaches including their quality. Simply saying "hey, give me your number" is a proxy for hiding in the caves of one's fears and insecurities. In other words, it is completing the technical side of this week's challenge without learning anything--a stagnation effect at best. It is like getting an "A" by cheating on an exam--looks good on paper, but worthless in reality.
lol.. that was a joke man. you really think i am going to do that?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Packers2010

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Plutoman said:
Walk up to girl.

"Put your number in my phone." x7.

Done. Easy!

Okay, I haven't done it myself. I'm sitting and studying till tomorrow evening after I finish exams, then I'll knock this out.
so i have to ask 7 girls for there number?
 

Gunner26

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Quick update here. Approached 4 girls so far, plus a couple lower quality girls. Asked for 2 numbers so far(2HB6's), both rejected. One of the 4 girls I completly forgot to ask for her number as well, I reckon I'd have got it too. Oh well. I'll post up proper results after the last ones are done.

Gunner
 

Gray The Prince

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Gunner26 said:
Quick update here. Approached 4 girls so far, plus a couple lower quality girls. Asked for 2 numbers so far(2HB6's), both rejected. One of the 4 girls I completly forgot to ask for her number as well, I reckon I'd have got it too. Oh well. I'll post up proper results after the last ones are done.

Gunner

Alright. Keep up the good work.
 

Masculinity

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Keep those entries coming, guys
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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coachD

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I'm out of town for three days and I've decided that tomorrow I'm going to the college area and try the"put your number in my phone" thing. I'm not expecting much since I'm so much older than them, but it's worth a try. I have nothing to lose. The people here don't know me.
 

Uncharted

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Not looking good for me this week. I've been hanging out with plates most nights so I obviously can't hit on other chicks in front of them (although THAT would be an awesome challenge). There's a snowstorm here today so that usually keeps the HB's inside.

Hopefully the weekend saves me.
 

Wolfbones

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I'm sorry but I have to withdraw myself from this year's competition. Right now, I'm LOADED with school stuff. It's a matter of passing or failing. Anyway, good luck to all of you fellas. I'll be watching this.
 

coachD

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I got several approaches in the college area this morning but was too nervous to do the phone number thing. I'll try again tomorrow.
 

coachD

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I made my first # attempt tonight. Glad I did it, but she responded like I was crazy. Details when I submit my weekly report.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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