"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
3rd annual Anti-approach anxiety competition
- Thread starter Gray The Prince
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
1. Any of you approach in the grocery store? I'd like to do this but it just seems odd. Any advice is appreciated.
2. I had an HB8 in my report that was giving me serious eye contact, but she was with a dude. How would you handle that? I feel like I missed an opportunity as she made it clear she was interested in me. But I didn't know how to handle the dude.
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,906
- Reaction score
- 547
That's weak. An important aspect of cold approaching is gaining social skills and increasing the number of approaches including their quality. Simply saying "hey, give me your number" is a proxy for hiding in the caves of one's fears and insecurities. In other words, it is completing the technical side of this week's challenge without learning anything--a stagnation effect at best. It is like getting an "A" by cheating on an exam--looks good on paper, but worthless in reality.Packers2010 said:
1 - Ask about a food item. If you are shopping near here, just go "Hey, can you help me? I was told about some recipe using this, but I can't remember what exactly it was.." - or - "Do you know of any good recipes for this? I was told to cook something up with it, but I've got no idea what to make." - or - "Help a guy out here, which flavor do you recommend?" - or - "That's an interesting choice, what are you making with that?" (has to be loud enough that she knows you are speaking to her, and clear).coachD said:
Any of those have potential to jump into conversation on food, tangent into anything really. "I had this holiday dinner with this, this.." etc etc. Anything can be used fairly easily.
2 - Not sure on the context. Describe the situation more?
Robyn; I somewhat disagree on the direct approach. Having the confidence to make a direct approach can dramatically help confidence in making an indirect approach. It all depends on context. I'd recommend every guy make a few direct approaches, straight-up. It takes more confidence, imo, than making an unobtrusive comment and trying to start a conversation.
That said, I agree in that it doesn't build or improve the social skills, which is a definite point of this competition. It will help confidence levels, though, which can indirectly assist the social skills. If I'd make a suggestion, you could say that a direct approach needs a follow-up, which I'd argue is just as beneficial as an indirect approach with a decent length conversation.
I got one in today, the only cute girl in my age range that was in starbucks right now. She was definitely not interested in talking though, she tried closing the conversation like 3 times, which I kind of deliberately ignored to keep her talking. Maybe will re-open her another time, who knows, may run into her again if she's studying in the bux. But anyways.. my summary comes later.
The thing Packers is talking about seems kind of like the Good Looking Loser approach. I guess there's good and bad to it. If you do it enough you've got a numbers advantage. That'd probably be great if you live in NYC and can troll the streets. But not in the suburbs.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Gray The Prince
Master Don Juan
Uncharted
Master Don Juan
Like this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mRM1VwUiYAPlutoman said:
Packers2010
Master Don Juan
some girl started talking to me, then a dude started talking to me asking me questions. it's was a bit alarming. couldn't tell if he was gay or not. maybe he was.Gray The Prince said:
i'm calling it a 3some pick up. maybe i'm just saving face.
Packers2010
Master Don Juan
lol.. that was a joke man. you really think i am going to do that?Robyn923b said:
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Packers2010
Master Don Juan
so i have to ask 7 girls for there number?Plutoman said:
JohnChops
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
- Messages
- 2,734
- Reaction score
- 481
No you need to approach a total of 7 women, but only ask a selected 3 for their number.Packers2010 said:
Gunner
Gray The Prince
Master Don Juan
Gunner26 said:
Alright. Keep up the good work.
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,906
- Reaction score
- 547
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Uncharted
Master Don Juan
Hopefully the weekend saves me.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.