"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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2007 SI Swimsuit rant...

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ValleyDJing

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Today, as I was walking out of K Mart, I saw Beyonce on the cover and thought what the hell and I scooped up the issue along with a pack of gum. A couple hours later, as I was perusing the pages...ok ok who am I kidding?... as I was jacking off furiously on the toilet I noticed something. When I reached Beyonce's little portion of the magazine, there were like 15 different pics of her. Cool right? Wrong! Not a single shot of her sweet ass in a piece of string that's pretending to be a thong! How is that even possible?! :mad: You have perhaps the second most famous ass on the planet (next to J-Lo of course), and you can't get one picture of it? Heads need to roll dammit! The editor needs to end his own life ASAP! Society no longer has use for that oxygen thief! I'm pissed, I feel cheated! I want my $6 back! :cuss: Rant over.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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sparky0000

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So you are that guy who finds the SI Swimsuit issue appealing.
 
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ValleyDJing

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And you're that guy who thinks he has to be a smartass all the time.

No I'm not that guy...I'm just a fraction of the 95% of adult American males that do.
 
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sparky0000

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ValleyDJing said:
And you're that guy who thinks he has to be a smartass all the time.

No I'm not that guy...I'm just a fraction of the 95% of adult American males that do.
Click to expand...
95% of American males are losers. Just look at what they chase after.
 
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comic_relief

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wow, I want my five minutes back.

comic_relief
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DJDamage

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ValleyDJing said:
I'm pissed, I feel cheated! I want my $6 back! :cuss: Rant over.
Click to expand...
Does it really make a difference if Beyonce shows her ass or not? by the end of the day you weren't fvcking her, you weren't fvcking another chick but you ended up fvcking yourself. Maybe that is the reason you felt pissed and cheated who knows.
 
nonchalant

nonchalant

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next time, get yourself some hardcore porn dvds.
 
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LA_Chico

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Los Angeles baby!
Her body too bootylicious for you bro!
 
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ValleyDJing

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1. Comic Relief...It took you five minutes to read that?!
2. Nonchalant...I already have porn thanks. The Swimsuit issue is tradition, thats the only reason I got it.
3. DJDamage...I don't even get what you're saying. Maybe I'm pissed because because I didn't get f.ucked? ummm...no I believe I was pissed because I didn't get to see Beyonce's ass in a thong, just like I said. Sometimes, appearances are what they seem.
4. Sparky...I'm not sure what you said because I put you on my ignore list (very hard to accomplish btw...so congrats) because all you do is act like a smartass, not just with me, but everyone in general...but I'm sure what you said wasn't flattering.

Anyways, I didn't realize this would turn into a flame fest. My bad.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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