"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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2007 SI Swimsuit rant...

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ValleyDJing

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Today, as I was walking out of K Mart, I saw Beyonce on the cover and thought what the hell and I scooped up the issue along with a pack of gum. A couple hours later, as I was perusing the pages...ok ok who am I kidding?... as I was jacking off furiously on the toilet I noticed something. When I reached Beyonce's little portion of the magazine, there were like 15 different pics of her. Cool right? Wrong! Not a single shot of her sweet ass in a piece of string that's pretending to be a thong! How is that even possible?! :mad: You have perhaps the second most famous ass on the planet (next to J-Lo of course), and you can't get one picture of it? Heads need to roll dammit! The editor needs to end his own life ASAP! Society no longer has use for that oxygen thief! I'm pissed, I feel cheated! I want my $6 back! :cuss: Rant over.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sparky0000

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So you are that guy who finds the SI Swimsuit issue appealing.
 
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ValleyDJing

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And you're that guy who thinks he has to be a smartass all the time.

No I'm not that guy...I'm just a fraction of the 95% of adult American males that do.
 
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sparky0000

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ValleyDJing said:
And you're that guy who thinks he has to be a smartass all the time.

No I'm not that guy...I'm just a fraction of the 95% of adult American males that do.
Click to expand...
95% of American males are losers. Just look at what they chase after.
 
C

comic_relief

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wow, I want my five minutes back.

comic_relief
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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DJDamage

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ValleyDJing said:
I'm pissed, I feel cheated! I want my $6 back! :cuss: Rant over.
Click to expand...
Does it really make a difference if Beyonce shows her ass or not? by the end of the day you weren't fvcking her, you weren't fvcking another chick but you ended up fvcking yourself. Maybe that is the reason you felt pissed and cheated who knows.
 
nonchalant

nonchalant

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next time, get yourself some hardcore porn dvds.
 
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LA_Chico

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Los Angeles baby!
Her body too bootylicious for you bro!
 
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ValleyDJing

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1. Comic Relief...It took you five minutes to read that?!
2. Nonchalant...I already have porn thanks. The Swimsuit issue is tradition, thats the only reason I got it.
3. DJDamage...I don't even get what you're saying. Maybe I'm pissed because because I didn't get f.ucked? ummm...no I believe I was pissed because I didn't get to see Beyonce's ass in a thong, just like I said. Sometimes, appearances are what they seem.
4. Sparky...I'm not sure what you said because I put you on my ignore list (very hard to accomplish btw...so congrats) because all you do is act like a smartass, not just with me, but everyone in general...but I'm sure what you said wasn't flattering.

Anyways, I didn't realize this would turn into a flame fest. My bad.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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