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“Don’t you Have a Girlfriend?” The Dreaded Question

nicksaiz65

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It’s finally happening. I’m 25 years old right now. Everyone around me is getting engaged, married, or having babies it seems. Every time I visit my mother, or other family members, they ask “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Or “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

I can’t exactly be like “I’m on an epic quest to learn Game, and get my lay count over 100 so I need to stay single as long as possible” lol.

So how do you all typically respond to this question? As of now I’m saying “Maybe when I find the right one for me” or some trite BS like that lol. I’d be interested to see how you all respond to this.
 

SW15

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It’s finally happening. I’m 25 years old right now. Everyone around me is getting engaged, married, or having babies it seems. Every time I visit my mother, or other family members, they ask “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Or “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”
Somewhere between ages 26-34, there are a flurry of weddings in your social circle. That's normal.

You live for you. You don't live for your mother or other family members.

You can also turn that shiit around on them. If these people are so concerned about you not having a girlfriend, maybe they can introduce you to a potential girlfriend. Put up or shut up.

I can’t exactly be like “I’m on an epic quest to learn Game, and get my lay count over 100 so I need to stay single as long as possible” lol.
Why not use this line? It's so ridiculously awesome and no one will continue the conversation with you if you use it. I like this line a lot!

So how do you all typically respond to this question? As of now I’m saying “Maybe when I find the right one for me” or some trite BS like that lol. I’d be interested to see how you all respond to this.
I say that I've chosen the path that is best for me. Then, I'll cite statistics about how marriages often fail.

There's about an 80% chance of AT LEAST one of the following 3 things happening over the lifespan of a marriage...
  • Divorce
  • Affair
  • Long periods of a mediocre to subpar dynamic where the relationship just continues on based on inertia/societal pressure. The passion is gone.
I don't want that shiit happening to me.
 

DonJuanjr

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“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

This is a buying signal and an opportunity for Game and responding with amused mastery. This is how a woman decides whether you’re a man or a mouse
So how would you respond?
 

Bokanovsky

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Just tell them that all the good ones are taken and start sobbing uncontrollably.
 

Am Shaegar

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So how do you all typically respond to this question? As of now I’m saying “Maybe when I find the right one for me” or some trite BS like that lol. I’d be interested to see how you all respond to this.
I find the terms boyfriend/girlfriend distasteful and juvenile. It's ok for teenagers to call each other that way, but once you are an adult these words are inadequate to call the people you sleep and have a relationship with.

You make a women respect you, you have her be responsible for one of the first times in her life and you **** her thoroughly to kingdome come and after all that, you are satisfied to be called just "boyfriend"? Equally if you find a woman that is actually mother and long time relationship material, you want to call this prospect just your "girlfriend"?
Part of the issue is that our relationship vocabulary has failed to keep up with the time. In the past you had a girlfriend, if she was good enough you got engaged and you married her, usually before both parties hit their 30s. Today marriage is a rotten deal and any man who does it, is shooting himself in the foot. There is a need for new labels for the women in our lives.
 

BackInTheGame78

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It’s finally happening. I’m 25 years old right now. Everyone around me is getting engaged, married, or having babies it seems. Every time I visit my mother, or other family members, they ask “Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Or “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

I can’t exactly be like “I’m on an epic quest to learn Game, and get my lay count over 100 so I need to stay single as long as possible” lol.

So how do you all typically respond to this question? As of now I’m saying “Maybe when I find the right one for me” or some trite BS like that lol. I’d be interested to see how you all respond to this.
I'm being patient looking for the right one.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Just say you have high standards OP. If they press you, say "I want someone both sane and in good shape and can't find one". When they realize those are actually reasonable standards and not at all high standards, they'll drop the subject.

Edit: What backinthegame said 5 seconds ago. Dang it.
 

zekko

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Why not use this line? It's so ridiculously awesome and no one will continue the conversation with you if you use it. I like this line a lot!
I'd like it better if he left out the part about learning Game, and just said "I'm trying to get my lay count over 100 first". Gives it a little more humor and evades the PUA nerd part.
 

Plinco

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The frame is that I’m not in a relationship because high value men with options aren’t in relationships. You have to have self awareness as a starting point if you want to play this Game.

The Game is not justifying yourself to women. It’s about getting women, ultimately, to start qualifying and chasing you.

So you don’t even need to respond to that question “why don’t you have a girlfriend” seriously. You could just respond with something like “agree and amplify” for example - “I do have a girlfriend. I’m in a deep, loving, but non-sexual relationship with my mother” - say with a smirk. She’ll likely laugh, give you a playful push and the conversation would move on.

Basically you’re training her to know that her screening questions will be met with amused mastery. You don’t answer any questions seriously unless you want to.

The point here is you’re not answering her question and you take the frame and make it about how you love your mother a lot - if you’re an obvious bad bay, this will always seem like a funny frame switch to a girl.
Your response is a lot more sophisticated than mine would have been. I would have said, "I can do whatever the f*** I wanna do."

I think I can either come off as a bad boy or autistic. I think the higher IQ women would like a more clever response than mine.
 

Plinco

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But saying “I do what I want” is still exisiting in her frame because you’re justifying.
I was thinking of that too.

It's also mentally lazy
 

DonJuanjr

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"Why don't you have a girlfriend?"
"I do. Her name is Margot Robbie. Though she's pretty busy, and likes to keep things low key."
 

Zimbabwe

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I say "no but if you know someone, introduce me to her"
 

Borknagar

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Somewhere between ages 26-34, there are a flurry of weddings in your social circle. That's normal.

You live for you. You don't live for your mother or other family members.

You can also turn that shiit around on them. If these people are so concerned about you not having a girlfriend, maybe they can introduce you to a potential girlfriend. Put up or shut up.



Why not use this line? It's so ridiculously awesome and no one will continue the conversation with you if you use it. I like this line a lot!



I say that I've chosen the path that is best for me. Then, I'll cite statistics about how marriages often fail.

There's about an 80% chance of AT LEAST one of the following 3 things happening over the lifespan of a marriage...
  • Divorce
  • Affair
  • Long periods of a mediocre to subpar dynamic where the relationship just continues on based on inertia/societal pressure. The passion is gone.
I don't want that shiit happening to me.
I totally agree, that line is awesome. I can only imagine what would happen at, say, thanksgiving. My grandpa passed, but i'll use her in this example:

Grandma: What? I don't understand.
Cousin Cass: Well **** you're on you're way there, you ****ed two of my friends.
Cousin Brand: *fist bump* haha which ones again?
Aunt: OMG
Aunt: Mom, he's saying he's a male slut.
Me: I don't remember haha,
Aunt: That's terrible.
Me: Me bad.
Grandma: You better not get any of them pregnant, they'll take you're money.


blahblahblah, but knowing my family it would be pretty funny. We don't avoid any topics for some reason. We've talked about gory horror movies while cutting the turkey, and ****.

And while I'm not going to look up you're stats on marriage, but that seems about right. Those that stay married are probably(as a guess) about 50/50 on the affair vs crappy marriage.
 

Murk

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Pretty sure my family thought I was gay until they physically saw my first girlfriend when I was 26
 

Plinco

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When your mom asks^, just tell her what Joe Pesci told his mom in Goodfellas when she asked - "when you gonna get yourself a nice girl and settle down"?

His answer:

"I get a nice girl almost every night mom, I settle down with a nice girl almost every night, then in the morning I'm free. I have you mom, I love you"!! LOL

Great scene! RIP Ray Liotta.

That scene has a lot of dark humor
 

Murk

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I'm not sure why a confident person would give 2 fvcks when people ask them this, especially family. Family can fvck right off if they think they can judge me. Imagine being the richest person in your extended/wider family at 33. They can all fvck off. I just want to create my own family and be head of the household and have everyone following my lead, that's really what I'm looking forward to in life.
 

Who Dares Win

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Best way to answer is showing it's no big deal for you to be single nor its a big deal for you to be asked about it.

"I'm dating a girl now but I wanna be sure before making of her anything more than a date" (most serious answer you can give).

"You mean a girlfriend all for myself? no chance in hell I could afford one with my current salary" (surprised, funny face).

"I dont know Im quite confused about my sexuality now" (serious face then when he/she gets serious too you move back to the surprised-funny one).

Anyway it's one of those questions that is often done to annoy someone rather than to know about it.

Only exception is when a girl showing strong signs of interest does, I mean strong signs of interest not some lukewarm one testing you.
 

2Rocky

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"Haven't narrowed it down to just ONE yet...."
 
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