How do you determine the interest levels?

[Maximummax]

Question to experienced Juan's.
When you first meet a chick, what gives you the vibe whether this girl is highly interested or mid level.

 

[zekko]

level of cooperation

 

[Clockwerk50]

The Medium is the Message

 

[Sega Genesis]

The Medium is the Message

The Rational Male

>>If she’s fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates. If she sorts it out for herself and pursues you, then you are still playing in your frame and you maintain the value of your attention to her.<<

I'm not getting this^^ part. It assumes the man has been doing everything right and it's she who is being the difficult one. Hot/cold behavior, etc

Could it be possible her behavior is in direct response to HIS hot/cold inconsistent behavior? Her matching HIS energy? Which is discussed here often (men matching a woman's energy). It goes both ways.

And why would a man expect her to pursue him? Chase him? Essentially Lead.

There is so much discussion on this forum about men leading the relationship, being strong leaders. Expecting a woman to pursue/chase you seems in direct contrast to that.

A man automatically "putting her away for awhile" without considering all the various nuances could actually make things worse!

I have read The Rational Male. Around 10 years ago. I thought it made valid points but I think a man following his advice (or much of) is outdated in today's dating culture and one of the reasons dating and relationships have become so f*cked up.

I am not suggesting women are always perfect angels, they (we) are definitely NOT. And there are occasions when putting her on back burner and letting her come to you is the wise decision

I'm just saying that not everything is so black and white, that's all..

$.02

 

[Pumax]

level of cooperation

I've had women actually super interested in me or helping me in whatever I wanted to.
It's what they call "compliance"?

There is so much discussion on this forum about men leading the relationship, being strong leaders. Expecting a woman to pursue/chase you seems in direct contrast to that.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2ylpi Men miss most signals.
That is the issue

 

[Sega Genesis]

I've had women actually super interested in me or helping me in whatever I wanted to.
It's what they call "compliance"?



https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2ylpi Men miss most signals.
That is the issue

^^Yeah "I" was the one who actually kissed one of my long term ex's first and we were together four years after that. I have posted about it.

Thing is though he didn't lean back waiting for me to chase him. Like some strategy. It developed naturally and organically.

I dunno I am all for men (and women) improving, I learn something valuable from everything I do and always look for ways to become better.

Just not a huge fan of Rollo or standard Redpill advice and believe such Games and strategies can sometimes hurt dating experiences and relationships.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The Rational Male

>>If she’s fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates. If she sorts it out for herself and pursues you, then you are still playing in your frame and you maintain the value of your attention to her.<<

I'm not getting this^^ part. It assumes the man has been doing everything right and it's she who is being the difficult one. Hot/cold behavior, etc

Could it be possible her behavior is in direct response to HIS hot/cold inconsistent behavior? Her matching HIS energy? Which is discussed here often (men matching a woman's energy). It goes both ways.

And why would a man expect her to pursue him? Chase him? Essentially Lead.

There is so much discussion on this forum about men leading the relationship, being strong leaders. Expecting a woman to pursue/chase you seems in direct contrast to that.

A man automatically "putting her away for awhile" without considering all the various nuances could actually make things worse!

I have read The Rational Male. Around 10 years ago. I thought it made valid points but I think a man following his advice (or much of) is outdated in today's dating culture and one of the reasons dating and relationships have become so f*cked up.

I am not suggesting women are always perfect angels, they (we) are definitely NOT. And there are occasions when putting her on back burner and letting her come to you is the wise decision

I'm just saying that not everything is so black and white, that's all..

$.02

I think the author's perspective and context is that he is assuming the man is consistent with his interest and the woman is the main prospect; therefore, if the woman's behaviour is fluctuating between hot and cold despite that consistency, then it makes sense to step back and let her sort out where she stands rather than continuing to pursue her.

The main point of that small paragraph is that you don't want to keep investing in someone who is treating you like a second choice, and at some point, her level of interest has to be demonstrated through her actions, not just her words.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I think the author's perspective and context is that he is assuming the man is consistent with his interest and the woman is the main prospect; therefore, if the woman's behaviour is fluctuating between hot and cold despite that consistency, then it makes sense to step back and let her sort out where she stands rather than continuing to pursue her.

I see. So I was correct then when posting this:

It assumes the man has been doing everything right and it's she who is being the difficult one. Hot/cold behavior, etc

Fair enough. It's advice material for men and this is a men's seduction forum, so yeah that makes sense I get it.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I see. So I was correct then when posting this:



Fair enough. It's advice material for men and this is a men's seduction forum, so yeah that makes sense I get it.

The article was written in 2011. I wasn’t around in these circles back then, but I’m assuming the target demographic was younger guys dealing with oneitis, which meant that they were overinvesting in women who weren’t reciprocating, while building up a fantasy around the relationship.

The modern equivalent would probably be guys obsessively chasing a woman through DMs and social media despite little interest from her.

 

[Sega Genesis]

The article was written in 2011. I wasn’t around in these circles back then, but I’m assuming the target demographic was younger guys dealing with oneitis, which meant that they were overinvesting in women who weren’t reciprocating, while building up a fantasy around the relationship.

The modern equivalent would probably be guys obsessively chasing a woman through DMs and social media despite little interest from her.

^^I understand but unless it's explained how guys should keep up their end too, I imagine young guys believing they can act like a * and play games and women should still stick around and chase.

For example there is a poster here @AntoniousIV who is young and learning his way.

He is reading various DJ strategies like pulling away, waiting a specific amount of time before texting back, no texting after 9:00 pm, let her come to you etc.

He has implemented such strategies with his gf who has done nothing wrong and it backfired.

Since behaving "normally" again and ditching such games, SHE began behaving normally again too! And according to him everything is back on track now.

He admitted he played these games to keep her interested when it did just the opposite. Again she had done nothing "wrong."

I don't remember everything in the book but does it teach men how to keep up their end too?

And yes of course if they are and she is acting distant, aloof and pulling away then yes implementing what Rollo advised is great advice!

 

[Sega Genesis]

Back around 10-11 years ago (2015-2016) I began interacting online with a guy, a "PUA." He never hid it from me, we used to talk about it and I was so curious about it! That's when I read The Rational Male.

He used to discuss with me something called "emotional spikes."

When a guy wouid intentionally pull away when things were good! Like after a particularly close intimate weekend together, he wouid intentionally become distant.

This was done to stir her emotions, throw her off balance emotionally ----> an emotional spike. And get her chasing!

It can become an addictive psychological rollercoaster but apparently it worked with many women and maybe today still does!

Now to me and according to Rollo, a man pulls away when she is behaving badly. This makes sense.

But it goes against other PUA strategies as described above which say to pull away when things are good!

The more emotional spikes the better according to old advice. Or is it the same advice? I dunno it can become very confusing at times.

I really do wish we could ALL just act "normal" (men and women) but maybe that's unrealistic in today's dating culture..

 

[Clockwerk50]

^^I understand but unless it's explained how guys should keep up their end too, I imagine young guys believing they can act like a * and play games and women should still stick around and chase.

For example there is a poster here @AntoniousIV who is young and learning his way.

He is reading various DJ strategies like pulling away, waiting a specific amount of time before texting back, no texting after 9:00 pm, let her come to you etc.

He has implemented such strategies with his gf who has done nothing wrong and it backfired.

Since behaving "normally" again and ditching such games, SHE began behaving normally again too! And according to him everything is back on track now.

He admitted he played these games to keep her interested when it did just the opposite. Again she had done nothing "wrong."

I don't remember everything in the book but does it teach men how to keep up their end too?

And yes of course if they are and she is acting distant, aloof and pulling away then yes implementing what Rollo advised is great advice!

My hypothesis is that some men naturally do not know how to court women, but they like the woman so much that they want her to obsess head over heels for them. So they either do what has been done to them in the past that has worked to make them infatuated, which is a woman being hot and cold, or they mimic the fantastical life of a player, whose game is built around having so many women that he does not have enough time to provide attention to all of them, making it appear that their game is built around being busy or unavailable.

At the end of the day, it is either not being done right or a lack of congruency that makes them shoot themselves in the foot, like the member whose example you just provided.

Back around 10-11 years ago (2015-2016) I began interacting online with a guy, a "PUA." He never hid it from me, we used to talk about it and I was so curious about it! That's when I read The Rational Male.

He used to discuss with me something called "emotional spikes."

When a guy wouid intentionally pull away when things were good! Like after a particularly close intimate weekend together, he wouid intentionally become distant.

This was done to stir her emotions, throw her off balance emotionally ----> an emotional spike. And get her chasing!

It can become an addictive psychological rollercoaster but apparently it worked with many women and maybe today still does!

Now to me and according to Rollo, a man pulls away when she is behaving badly. This makes sense.

But it goes against other PUA strategies as described above which say to pull away when things are good!

The more emotional spikes the better according to old advice. Or is it the same advice? I dunno it can become very confusing at times.

I really do wish we could ALL just act "normal" (men and women) but maybe that's unrealistic in today's dating culture..

The thing is, niceness in seduction can initially draw someone in because it is soothing and comforting, but it can eventually become monotonous and suffocating and lose its effect. Erotic feeling depends on tension. Without tension, anticipation, and suspense, there can be no sense of release, pleasure, or excitement when the eventual climax happens. I think the difference is whether that tension develops naturally or is deliberately manufactured by pulling away just to create an emotional spike, but like how the saying goes, a key that opens many locks is a master key.

Anyways, I think we are going on a tangent from what OP intended here. If you want to discuss this further, we can talk in DMs.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Question to experienced Juan's.
When you first meet a chick, what gives you the vibe whether this girl is highly interested or mid level.

With the necessary disclaimer("I'm not a 1 percenter or a glamourous celebrity... Plenty of men on this planet have a much higher kill count than I do")out of the way, here are my green lights:

-She's receptive to conversation when I approach

-She doesn't flee immediately

-She exchanges contact info with me

How game she truly is has to be determined at a later date

 

[zekko]

She doesn't flee immediately

Usually a good sign

 

[BillyPilgrim]

For phuck's sake touch them and see how they react

 

[BaronOfHair]

Usually a good sign

Yeah, it's disconcertingly easy to be TOO clever by half with all this stuff

 

[AntoniousIV]

^^I understand but unless it's explained how guys should keep up their end too, I imagine young guys believing they can act like a * and play games and women should still stick around and chase.

For example there is a poster here @AntoniousIV who is young and learning his way.

He is reading various DJ strategies like pulling away, waiting a specific amount of time before texting back, no texting after 9:00 pm, let her come to you etc.

He has implemented such strategies with his gf who has done nothing wrong and it backfired.

Since behaving "normally" again and ditching such games, SHE began behaving normally again too! And according to him everything is back on track now.

Very true. I've also read the rational male too. But it says to be reciprocal in attention, which is definetly not what I was doing.

 

[crowolf]

Compliance & investment (effort).

 

[zekko]

For phuck's sake touch them and see how they react

 

[Mertz09]

Back around 10-11 years ago (2015-2016) I began interacting online with a guy, a "PUA." He never hid it from me, we used to talk about it and I was so curious about it! That's when I read The Rational Male.

He used to discuss with me something called "emotional spikes."

When a guy wouid intentionally pull away when things were good! Like after a particularly close intimate weekend together, he wouid intentionally become distant.

This was done to stir her emotions, throw her off balance emotionally ----> an emotional spike. And get her chasing!

It can become an addictive psychological rollercoaster but apparently it worked with many women and maybe today still does!

Now to me and according to Rollo, a man pulls away when she is behaving badly. This makes sense.

But it goes against other PUA strategies as described above which say to pull away when things are good!

The more emotional spikes the better according to old advice. Or is it the same advice? I dunno it can become very confusing at times.

I really do wish we could ALL just act "normal" (men and women) but maybe that's unrealistic in today's dating culture..

"I really do wish we could ALL just act "normal" (men and women) but maybe that's unrealistic in today's dating culture.."

Yeah, I think the internet and along with it social media has really made dating a lot more difficult = complicated than it has to be.