The Rational Male
>>If she’s fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates. If she sorts it out for herself and pursues you, then you are still playing in your frame and you maintain the value of your attention to her.<<
I'm not getting this^^ part. It assumes the man has been doing everything right and it's
she who is being the difficult one. Hot/cold behavior, etc
Could it be
possible her behavior is in direct response to HIS hot/cold inconsistent behavior? Her matching HIS energy? Which is discussed here often (men matching a woman's energy). It goes both ways.
And why would a man expect her to pursue him? Chase him? Essentially Lead.
There is so much discussion on this forum about men leading the relationship, being strong leaders. Expecting a woman to pursue/chase you seems in direct contrast to that.
A man automatically "putting her away for awhile" without considering all the various nuances could actually make things worse!
I have read The Rational Male. Around 10 years ago. I thought it made valid points but I think a man following his advice (or much of) is outdated in today's dating culture and one of the reasons dating and relationships have become so f*cked up.
I am not suggesting women are always perfect angels, they (we) are definitely NOT. And there are occasions when putting her on back burner and letting her come to you is the wise decision
I'm just saying that not everything is so black and white, that's all..
$.02