BackInTheGame78
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Why does she have access to your social media? This is used to disqualify you. Never give this out freely to people
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
IVLVS Field Journal
- Thread starter ivlvs_veridivs
- Start date
Clockwerk50
Master Don Juan
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First of all, there are a couple of principles worth keeping in mind.
1. Rapport and escalation = Rapport is the mutual comfort, trust, and connection you build through conversation, shared experiences, humor, empathy, and simply spending time together. Escalation is moving the interaction forward based on the level of comfort that has already been established.
Escalation can take different forms: logistical (coffee → dinner → another venue), physical (light touches → hugs → kissing), or emotional (small talk → flirting → deeper conversations). The timing varies depending on the situation, but the principle remains the same: build rapport, escalate, build more rapport, then escalate again.
The relationship between the two is important because escalation requires enough rapport behind it. If you escalate too quickly, you risk making someone uncomfortable. If you never escalate, the interaction can become stagnant.
At the same time, you still have to attempt to escalate because it gives you information. Her response is the green light or red light. If she is receptive, you know you can continue. If she isn't, either you moved too quickly and need to build more rapport, or the interest simply isn't there.
2. Presence, absence, suspense, and anticipation = Presence creates attraction through shared experiences and emotional connection. Absence gives those experiences time to grow because it allows someone to think about you, replay moments, and look forward to seeing you again.
Suspense and anticipation keep curiosity alive. If someone always knows exactly what to expect from you, interest can fade. The goal isn't to play games, but to allow someone to discover new sides of you over time. Attraction grows not only from the moments together, but also from the space between those moments.
The balance between these ideas is that presence creates the memories, absence allows those memories to develop, and suspense keeps curiosity alive. Attraction is not only built through what happens during the interaction but also through what happens afterward when someone is alone and reflecting on the experience.
Conclusion: With girl one, I think the main issue was probably a rapport and escalation problem. You went from meeting her while she was walking her dogs to setting up a date at an arcade bar. This isn't necessarily wrong, but the level of investment may have been higher than the comfort built between you two. More rapport through lighter interactions or a lower-pressure first meet could have made the escalation feel more natural.
With girl two, I think the bigger question is why you felt the need to restart the conversation the day before the date when she was already the one who suggested hanging out. Since she had already shown initiative, the interaction already had momentum and there was no need to seek reassurance through more texting. The move is to stay available for logistics while also allowing the other person to invest and show their level of interest. Hopefully, the date still happened, but I would have kept it simple and sent a confirmation text the morning of. Keep communication open, but avoid feeling like you need to constantly maintain the interaction to prevent someone from losing interest.
Overall, women with high interest usually make things easier. They give you more room for mistakes, are more receptive, and help move things forward. When someone is interested, their actions usually align with that interest. When they aren't, you often end up analyzing messages, interpreting mixed signals, and wondering where you stand.
nicksaiz65
Master Don Juan
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Glad you’re out approaching in real life too. Keep running those sessions!
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Hi friends, here comes the update. There are a couple of things I want to share, with the motto "SIX AND ABOVE, I APPROACH".
THE DATE ON SUNDAY
This last Sunday I didn't think I was going to have any dates as mentioned in my previous post, but girl number 2 sent me a sticker like at 1 p.m. So I knew that sticker was because she wanted the date to happen. I do a little back and forth and proceed to confirm the plan. The BIG difference compared to the first girl is that this second girl ACTUALLY WANTED THE DATE TO HAPPEN. I know this because she was pretty far away and actually asked for an Uber to see me at midpoint, where I picked her up. I don't know if she wanted to **** straight from the beginning, because just a minute after she was inside my car she asked "So, where do you live?". Go figure.
I think girls will show interest, then no interest, then interest again, might flake, later regret the flake, or who the **** knows; the key here is just to not allow signs that YOU INTERPRET as disinterest to cause an IMPRESSION on you. As Epictetus says, we have to be aware of the kind of impressions we assent to, especially if they are phantasies. It's no use wondering if the girl is doing this or that because she likes you or not, particularly when they do not answer; just hope and act for the best and let things happen. Do not be afraid to make a mistake, as you will only get better, and as others have already mentioned, if there is attraction, girls will actually allow you to make some mistakes. Remember that PERFECT IS BORING, for you and her.
I took the girl to a dog event where there was supposed to be a pool for the dogs, and I really wanted to go. I have a chihuahua and wanted to see if I could buy some outfits for him and also see the dogs that people brought to the event. Unfortunately, because I live in a place with hot weather, the girl quickly became uncomfortable and wanted to go to a place where A/C was available instead of outdoors. Still, I enjoyed it there, bought a couple of things, and saw that I should have arrived alone as there were several good-looking girls alone with their pets (maybe a red flag?). lol.
Now I asked the girl if she was hungry, and we were, so we decided to try some sushi. As I wanted to drink some ****tails, I took her to a sushi bar. Also, I'll say here that the girl looked prettier on Tinder than in real life, so the interest in my mind diminished, but I managed to stay engaged by looking at her boobs (pretty nice) and realizing she had a good sense of humor; also, her age (22) is a plus. As a side note, I think I actually want to try to go all the way to the FC with her without falling into an LTR, just casual. During the walks and over the car, I saw that she was comfortable with me being near her, so I wanted to take it up a notch inside the bar.
We arrived at the bar, asked for some drinks and food. The conversation with her up until this point was kind of lame because, as I said, she was uncomfortable with the weather and was more focused on making sure her makeup didn't wear off or something. I think I was doing like 60-70% of the talking, not eagerly avoiding the silence, but also not letting it go to hell. Now at this place, that feeling changed, and as she was actually talking, I remembered the rule of asking questions instead of just talking about myself, so I did that with funny comments here and there. None of us got drunk, and we were laughing and having a good time. The main escalation I did here was physical, by placing my arm on her back while we were sitting and touching her briefly on the arm and things like that. A close was not going to happen because we both needed to go to work, and it was almost 10 p.m.; she may still live with her parents and could be expected to arrive at a certain time. I think patience is also key; I didn't want to rush anything, just convey my sexuality through eyes, conversation, and slow escalation. At the end, I took her near her house and proceeded to head to mine.
I have a couple of questions regarding how to keep it warm from now on until the next date. My best guess and what I usually do is just send messages over the week, nothing needy, just a couple unless a conversation actually happens.
GIRL I SEE EVERY WEEK OR TWICE A MONTH
Now let's go and talk about the other girl. Because of my job, I have to go once every week (usually) to job training. This is the place where I see other colleagues that do not work with me, but we work in the same area, doing the same stuff, just in different offices. Only a couple of them are the ones I actually work with.
In the third week when this training started, I saw this girl and became infatuated with her, never did anything as I was still with my ex. She has a slim frame and a pretty face, with lovely eyes. She basically checks all of the boxes in my mind for what attractive and LTR material means to me. I'm not crazy about big tits and really big butts; I mean, they are good, but I prefer slim girls.
After things ended with my ex, a couple of weeks later this girl sat next to me and asked me for a pen, so I lent it to her, and together we solved a puzzle related to the training. Unfortunately, one of her female friends with whom she works invited her to change places so they could be together, and that was it.
Deep inside I knew I had to have this girl. And today I decided to do something. I want to play it under the water because I do not want to screw up my or her reputation with gossip and things like "oh look IVLVS is flirting with her". Fortunately, I think the several dates I have been going out, the approaches I have tried, and the ways I'm looking for to have fun during the weekend started to pay dividends.
Today I arrived a little bit early, chose my place to sit, and by chance or whatever, she sat next to me again. But this time we were also next to her friends. At the beginning, I ignored her a little bit, just focusing on the training and on being social. I was playing with the trainer (woman) and having a good vibe in general. The time to eat arrived; I finished and started to read a little bit. I indirectly took a look at her by looking to the left but not straight at her, and I saw that at some point, she turned to my face and looked at me and then looked away. I started to get a little nervous but deep inside I knew if I didn't start talking with her I was going to have to face my cowardice alone and I'm not fair with myself regarding that. So, with 5 minutes left until we have to start the training again, I started talking with her.
The thing I said is "hey, so where is your office located?" she told me and took it from there. The nervousness quickly went away after my first question, and I felt pretty confident, chill, fun, and of course, I teased her a little bit. I noticed she may be introverted; when she laughs, she tends to cover her mouth and talk softly, and I find all of these things just adorable. We continued talking about our pets. I showed her some pictures of my cat and my dog with the cowboy hat I bought on the previous date. I told her that she was the crazy cat lady of the neighborhood (she has 7 cats, although she still lives with her parents). After some time she also started to ask me questions and contribute to the conversation. I was just talking nonsense with funny experiences I have had in my life, and she was really enjoying it. The five minutes went away, and thank God the trainer took more time, like half an hour, which I used to talk with her.
When the training ended I said goodbye to her friends and her. Completely loved her eyes.
My plan with this girl is to take things slowly due to the context and because it's guaranteed I will see her again. Maybe I'm not going to be able the next time to sit next to her, but I'll definitely keep an eye to see a window and start a conversation with her again, using some of the things she already told me, like "so, you never showed me your 7 cats, only one!" Eventually maybe after three or four weeks I will ask her out and see where things go from there. I think the IOI from her were really there.
BACKBURNER
I have a chick that I have been talking to over hinge. It's been on and off since she answers for three days straight, and then disappears for 5 days. the last time this girl answered was when I asked her out and never got an answer lol. Today she apologized, told me she wanted it to happen but didn't look at my message and forgot to open the app. I'm talking with her again about stuff and a couple of minutes ago asked her out again, well I asked how her week was to see an option to go out.
THE DATE ON SUNDAY
This last Sunday I didn't think I was going to have any dates as mentioned in my previous post, but girl number 2 sent me a sticker like at 1 p.m. So I knew that sticker was because she wanted the date to happen. I do a little back and forth and proceed to confirm the plan. The BIG difference compared to the first girl is that this second girl ACTUALLY WANTED THE DATE TO HAPPEN. I know this because she was pretty far away and actually asked for an Uber to see me at midpoint, where I picked her up. I don't know if she wanted to **** straight from the beginning, because just a minute after she was inside my car she asked "So, where do you live?". Go figure.
I think girls will show interest, then no interest, then interest again, might flake, later regret the flake, or who the **** knows; the key here is just to not allow signs that YOU INTERPRET as disinterest to cause an IMPRESSION on you. As Epictetus says, we have to be aware of the kind of impressions we assent to, especially if they are phantasies. It's no use wondering if the girl is doing this or that because she likes you or not, particularly when they do not answer; just hope and act for the best and let things happen. Do not be afraid to make a mistake, as you will only get better, and as others have already mentioned, if there is attraction, girls will actually allow you to make some mistakes. Remember that PERFECT IS BORING, for you and her.
I took the girl to a dog event where there was supposed to be a pool for the dogs, and I really wanted to go. I have a chihuahua and wanted to see if I could buy some outfits for him and also see the dogs that people brought to the event. Unfortunately, because I live in a place with hot weather, the girl quickly became uncomfortable and wanted to go to a place where A/C was available instead of outdoors. Still, I enjoyed it there, bought a couple of things, and saw that I should have arrived alone as there were several good-looking girls alone with their pets (maybe a red flag?). lol.
Now I asked the girl if she was hungry, and we were, so we decided to try some sushi. As I wanted to drink some ****tails, I took her to a sushi bar. Also, I'll say here that the girl looked prettier on Tinder than in real life, so the interest in my mind diminished, but I managed to stay engaged by looking at her boobs (pretty nice) and realizing she had a good sense of humor; also, her age (22) is a plus. As a side note, I think I actually want to try to go all the way to the FC with her without falling into an LTR, just casual. During the walks and over the car, I saw that she was comfortable with me being near her, so I wanted to take it up a notch inside the bar.
We arrived at the bar, asked for some drinks and food. The conversation with her up until this point was kind of lame because, as I said, she was uncomfortable with the weather and was more focused on making sure her makeup didn't wear off or something. I think I was doing like 60-70% of the talking, not eagerly avoiding the silence, but also not letting it go to hell. Now at this place, that feeling changed, and as she was actually talking, I remembered the rule of asking questions instead of just talking about myself, so I did that with funny comments here and there. None of us got drunk, and we were laughing and having a good time. The main escalation I did here was physical, by placing my arm on her back while we were sitting and touching her briefly on the arm and things like that. A close was not going to happen because we both needed to go to work, and it was almost 10 p.m.; she may still live with her parents and could be expected to arrive at a certain time. I think patience is also key; I didn't want to rush anything, just convey my sexuality through eyes, conversation, and slow escalation. At the end, I took her near her house and proceeded to head to mine.
I have a couple of questions regarding how to keep it warm from now on until the next date. My best guess and what I usually do is just send messages over the week, nothing needy, just a couple unless a conversation actually happens.
GIRL I SEE EVERY WEEK OR TWICE A MONTH
Now let's go and talk about the other girl. Because of my job, I have to go once every week (usually) to job training. This is the place where I see other colleagues that do not work with me, but we work in the same area, doing the same stuff, just in different offices. Only a couple of them are the ones I actually work with.
In the third week when this training started, I saw this girl and became infatuated with her, never did anything as I was still with my ex. She has a slim frame and a pretty face, with lovely eyes. She basically checks all of the boxes in my mind for what attractive and LTR material means to me. I'm not crazy about big tits and really big butts; I mean, they are good, but I prefer slim girls.
After things ended with my ex, a couple of weeks later this girl sat next to me and asked me for a pen, so I lent it to her, and together we solved a puzzle related to the training. Unfortunately, one of her female friends with whom she works invited her to change places so they could be together, and that was it.
Deep inside I knew I had to have this girl. And today I decided to do something. I want to play it under the water because I do not want to screw up my or her reputation with gossip and things like "oh look IVLVS is flirting with her". Fortunately, I think the several dates I have been going out, the approaches I have tried, and the ways I'm looking for to have fun during the weekend started to pay dividends.
Today I arrived a little bit early, chose my place to sit, and by chance or whatever, she sat next to me again. But this time we were also next to her friends. At the beginning, I ignored her a little bit, just focusing on the training and on being social. I was playing with the trainer (woman) and having a good vibe in general. The time to eat arrived; I finished and started to read a little bit. I indirectly took a look at her by looking to the left but not straight at her, and I saw that at some point, she turned to my face and looked at me and then looked away. I started to get a little nervous but deep inside I knew if I didn't start talking with her I was going to have to face my cowardice alone and I'm not fair with myself regarding that. So, with 5 minutes left until we have to start the training again, I started talking with her.
The thing I said is "hey, so where is your office located?" she told me and took it from there. The nervousness quickly went away after my first question, and I felt pretty confident, chill, fun, and of course, I teased her a little bit. I noticed she may be introverted; when she laughs, she tends to cover her mouth and talk softly, and I find all of these things just adorable. We continued talking about our pets. I showed her some pictures of my cat and my dog with the cowboy hat I bought on the previous date. I told her that she was the crazy cat lady of the neighborhood (she has 7 cats, although she still lives with her parents). After some time she also started to ask me questions and contribute to the conversation. I was just talking nonsense with funny experiences I have had in my life, and she was really enjoying it. The five minutes went away, and thank God the trainer took more time, like half an hour, which I used to talk with her.
When the training ended I said goodbye to her friends and her. Completely loved her eyes.
My plan with this girl is to take things slowly due to the context and because it's guaranteed I will see her again. Maybe I'm not going to be able the next time to sit next to her, but I'll definitely keep an eye to see a window and start a conversation with her again, using some of the things she already told me, like "so, you never showed me your 7 cats, only one!" Eventually maybe after three or four weeks I will ask her out and see where things go from there. I think the IOI from her were really there.
BACKBURNER
I have a chick that I have been talking to over hinge. It's been on and off since she answers for three days straight, and then disappears for 5 days. the last time this girl answered was when I asked her out and never got an answer lol. Today she apologized, told me she wanted it to happen but didn't look at my message and forgot to open the app. I'm talking with her again about stuff and a couple of minutes ago asked her out again, well I asked how her week was to see an option to go out.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Hey friend, thanks for your feedback, it was really helpful. Now that you put it in these terms I think the issue was that the investment still wasn't there. Pretty sure the date might have happened if I did what she expected, which was wait her near her house, and arrive together. Well, I prefer to make mistakes instead of wondering what if. Live and learn.
I like your advice regarding not needing to constantly maintain the interaction to prevent losing interest. And also your advice presence and absence played a huge part today. Since there's a girl I want to go out (see girl I see every week at my previous post) and that's exactly what I'm going for, being attractive, making her interested and then letting the days we do not see each other do the magic.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Sorry, I said social media, but actually meant WhatsApp status.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
I like how you frame it. A game. Which it is. Thanks for your advice, although there's a single mom on Hinge that looks cute and the conversation has been going pretty well, I'll have to evaluate her further.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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I can't believe you didn't pick her up.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Yep, that was my bad. I treated the context the same way I have done with other dates, with girls that live far from my place and we meet at a midpoint or at the place. In this case, the context was different; the girl lived like five minutes away, and it was expected that I pick her up.
pipeman84
Master Don Juan
Indeed. So what's her age and relationship status? The fact she has 7 cats is quite weird; noticed any other red flags with her?
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Hi friend. I don't know the answer to her age and relationship status; I didn't ask her questions related to it. From what I can see, maybe she's around 25-28. I think I can ask her things like "so what do you do for fun?" and see if she mentions a partner.
No other red flags. Although I'm not good yet at spotting them.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
Just text her whenever tf you want. 3-4 texts and ask her out again.
"You seem like a cool girl. Would you like to hang out sometime?"
"No problem, here´s my whatsapp:"
Clockwerk50
Master Don Juan
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The rule of thumb has always been to strike when the iron is hot since playing it slow is a fatal mistake. When a woman shows initial interest, you have a brief window to act before that initial spark fades, and if not, your actions are perceived as disniterest. Waiting for the "perfect" moment or hoping attraction will build over time often communicates hesitation, inexperience, and a lack of confidence, making you look like you're too stuck in your own head to take the lead.
Text her once in between dates to set up the next one, and as previously stated, text her the day of to confirm that it is still on. Have your logistics in place, and don't get your hopes up. Lastly, let her take care of maintaining the relationship by initiating some of the texting. Often, she will initiate to ask how you are, how your day is going, what they are doing, and what they will be doing—just the mundane stuff. Unfortunately, if she is not doing this, it most likely means the first meetup did not go as well as you thought it did, which may put the second one in jeopardy.
Careful, don't be like the poster on the post below. He spent almost a year hesitating about whether the girl at work liked him. Then, when he finally asked her out, it was either too late or she was never interested in the first place. A man’s role is to lead, escalate, and create opportunities for intimacy. The only way to find out if she’s into you is to ask her out. If she is not you move on.
Getting a feel for women at work - Do all the same rules and concepts apply? | SoSuave Discussion Forum
FINALLY invited her out for a drink but she dodges the question | SoSuave Discussion Forum
Can I recover from this? Co-worker plate | SoSuave Discussion Forum
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Thanks, just offered my WhatsApp to that girl and the other single mom I was texting over hinge. Now I'll just wait for their answer. It seems I'll ask the other lady out when I see her again at training this coming Monday.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Thanks! great advice. I think I'll ask her out this coming Monday. Worst that can happen is a no and she telling everybody else I asked her out.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
This week my work schedule is pretty crazy, so I probably won’t have much time for cold approaches until Saturday, when I’m planning to go to a bar that hosts small tribute concerts and cover bands.
I think things might have gone sideways with both the girl I had on the back burner and the single mom. Both are from Hinge.
With the single mom, the conversation on the app was going really well. She was sending long messages, laughing at my jokes, and seemed pretty engaged. I figured it was a good time to ask for her number and then set up a date. She asked me to send her a picture of my dog wearing a costume I bought him, so I replied, “I can’t do that through the app, but here’s my WhatsApp. Send me a message there. It’ll also make it easier to plan a date.”
As for the other girl (the one on the back burner) she apologized for missing my earlier message asking her out and told me she did want to go on a date with me. Before that, we’d had a good back-and-forth, and she was showing a fair amount of investment and interest. She even mentioned that she was free this Thursday. I told her I might have some time before 1 p.m., but after that I’d have to work. Because of the logistics, we agreed that Saturday would work better, although we didn’t get into any specific plans.
She said, “I’m free all weekend, whatever works best for you since you’re the busy one.”
I replied, “Okay, let’s do Saturday. Send me a message on WhatsApp at ######, and we can figure out the details there.”
It’s been almost two days lol. So I’ll let you know if they answer. Both went silent after that text .
Have a nice Thursday everyone.
I think things might have gone sideways with both the girl I had on the back burner and the single mom. Both are from Hinge.
With the single mom, the conversation on the app was going really well. She was sending long messages, laughing at my jokes, and seemed pretty engaged. I figured it was a good time to ask for her number and then set up a date. She asked me to send her a picture of my dog wearing a costume I bought him, so I replied, “I can’t do that through the app, but here’s my WhatsApp. Send me a message there. It’ll also make it easier to plan a date.”
As for the other girl (the one on the back burner) she apologized for missing my earlier message asking her out and told me she did want to go on a date with me. Before that, we’d had a good back-and-forth, and she was showing a fair amount of investment and interest. She even mentioned that she was free this Thursday. I told her I might have some time before 1 p.m., but after that I’d have to work. Because of the logistics, we agreed that Saturday would work better, although we didn’t get into any specific plans.
She said, “I’m free all weekend, whatever works best for you since you’re the busy one.”
I replied, “Okay, let’s do Saturday. Send me a message on WhatsApp at ######, and we can figure out the details there.”
It’s been almost two days lol. So I’ll let you know if they answer. Both went silent after that text .
Have a nice Thursday everyone.
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Just a little update.
I went alone to a rock event at a bar. Approaching people was really difficult because the music was so loud, and most of the girls I was interested in arrived in large groups that included guys, so I assumed many of them were there with boyfriends or dates. On top of that, I was really tired and honestly just wanted to go home, so I wasn't in the best mindset.
I also walked around outside the bar for a while to see if I could make eye contact with someone or get an opening, but nothing really happened. Again, it was mostly groups and not really a lot of girls I was interested in opening. Maybe I should just open even if they are not exactly my type.
I invited the 22-year-old girl to the rock event. She sent me a voice message saying she was going to take a nap, clean her room, and then let me know when I should pick her up. Well... that never happened.
The back-burner girl never messaged me on WhatsApp like I asked, so I'm considering that one done unless she reaches out at some point.
The single mom actually did message me on WhatsApp after I asked her to on Hinge. We chatted last week, then she disappeared for about two days before continuing the conversation yesterday. I'm replying today, and I think I'll invite her out this weekend.
---------
Girl I See Once a Week
As I mentioned before, you guys suggested acting while the iron is hot, so that's what I tried to do today.
At first I didn't sit next to her because I didn't want to come across as overly eager (although I know avoiding her could also be interpreted as disinterest). Later we had to switch classrooms, and in the second room I ended up sitting in the same spot I had last week, which happened to be next to her.
We talked here and there throughout class, and I got her laughing several times.
At one point I turned my head to look toward the other classmates, and several times I noticed her eyes shift in my direction. I wasn't looking directly at her (I was mostly facing the whiteboard) but I could definitely tell she glanced at me a few times. Eventually I sensed her looking again, so I looked back at her, gave her a quick smile and a little wave, and she smiled and waved back.
I know I probably should have asked her out during lunch, but I didn't. We just kept talking. What held me back was the possibility that one of her coworkers (I think she works with someone else in the class) might overhear me, making things awkward or embarrassing for everyone.
I decided to wait until class ended, but then one of my female friends (nothing romantic, she's older than me) started talking to me. At that point I felt it would look really obvious if I suddenly walked over to her while she was standing with her friends just to ask her out. Maybe that was just my nerves talking.
While I was driving back home I knew I had to something or the shame of not doing anything would eat me the rest of the day. So I decided to send her a WhatsApp message instead, that would help with keeping it a "secret". Since we're both in the class WhatsApp group, I found her number there and sent her this:
Me: "Hey, this is IVLIVS. You seem fun. We should go to Fundidora Park sometime."
Her: "Hey, IVLIVS. Thank you very much for the invitation."
For context, this is the girl who lives with her parents and has seven cats. After talking with her a bit more today, it also seems she doesn't drink or smoke weed.
What confused me is her reply. It wasn't a yes or a no, it was just... an acknowledgment.
Should I follow up and keep talking with her throughout the week?
Thanks!
I went alone to a rock event at a bar. Approaching people was really difficult because the music was so loud, and most of the girls I was interested in arrived in large groups that included guys, so I assumed many of them were there with boyfriends or dates. On top of that, I was really tired and honestly just wanted to go home, so I wasn't in the best mindset.
I also walked around outside the bar for a while to see if I could make eye contact with someone or get an opening, but nothing really happened. Again, it was mostly groups and not really a lot of girls I was interested in opening. Maybe I should just open even if they are not exactly my type.
I invited the 22-year-old girl to the rock event. She sent me a voice message saying she was going to take a nap, clean her room, and then let me know when I should pick her up. Well... that never happened.
The back-burner girl never messaged me on WhatsApp like I asked, so I'm considering that one done unless she reaches out at some point.
The single mom actually did message me on WhatsApp after I asked her to on Hinge. We chatted last week, then she disappeared for about two days before continuing the conversation yesterday. I'm replying today, and I think I'll invite her out this weekend.
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Girl I See Once a Week
As I mentioned before, you guys suggested acting while the iron is hot, so that's what I tried to do today.
At first I didn't sit next to her because I didn't want to come across as overly eager (although I know avoiding her could also be interpreted as disinterest). Later we had to switch classrooms, and in the second room I ended up sitting in the same spot I had last week, which happened to be next to her.
We talked here and there throughout class, and I got her laughing several times.
At one point I turned my head to look toward the other classmates, and several times I noticed her eyes shift in my direction. I wasn't looking directly at her (I was mostly facing the whiteboard) but I could definitely tell she glanced at me a few times. Eventually I sensed her looking again, so I looked back at her, gave her a quick smile and a little wave, and she smiled and waved back.
I know I probably should have asked her out during lunch, but I didn't. We just kept talking. What held me back was the possibility that one of her coworkers (I think she works with someone else in the class) might overhear me, making things awkward or embarrassing for everyone.
I decided to wait until class ended, but then one of my female friends (nothing romantic, she's older than me) started talking to me. At that point I felt it would look really obvious if I suddenly walked over to her while she was standing with her friends just to ask her out. Maybe that was just my nerves talking.
While I was driving back home I knew I had to something or the shame of not doing anything would eat me the rest of the day. So I decided to send her a WhatsApp message instead, that would help with keeping it a "secret". Since we're both in the class WhatsApp group, I found her number there and sent her this:
Me: "Hey, this is IVLIVS. You seem fun. We should go to Fundidora Park sometime."
Her: "Hey, IVLIVS. Thank you very much for the invitation."
For context, this is the girl who lives with her parents and has seven cats. After talking with her a bit more today, it also seems she doesn't drink or smoke weed.
What confused me is her reply. It wasn't a yes or a no, it was just... an acknowledgment.
Should I follow up and keep talking with her throughout the week?
Thanks!
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Doctor Europeo
Moderator
I have probably said this already but a lot of girls sound like low interest. Read Rollo Tomassis Iron rules.
One of them says something along the lines of "Its always time better spent searching for new relationships than trying to fix ones that dont work"
ivlvs_veridivs
Don Juan
Thanks, is that inside the Rational Male book? I haven't read that one. So, also regarding the chick which I frequent at training. Should I just classify that as maybe low interest and discard the option? I answered her with some callback humor about the things we talked in person and she replied back in a good way. I'm wondering just talking to her now and then until Friday, and that day tell her "hey, wanna go out this saturday?"
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
Ask them out asap. The moment you ask them out Is the moment you find out where you stand.
If she cant make a specific date/Time she should counter offer. A few girls dont know that but you can leave the ball in their court like "No problem, Let me know when you aré free".
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.