Regret getting married: Peace is all that matters

[Pandora]

Ive learned that peace is the most important thing that matters. I no longer care how beautiful the woman is. I regret nexting the few unattractive women that gave me peace. I had 1 or 2 good ones who were not that cute but they were peaceful. I did not know how rare that quality was ( peace).

My wife is beautiful but she is not an inherently happy person. She will find something to complain about. This amplified after marriage. I have only been married for 1.5 yrs and I cant take it anymore. I waited 39 yrs to get married and I still made the wrong choice lolol.

I dont think kids are in the cards for me and I am ok with this if it means I can keep my sanity and peace. I never knew how happy I was when I was single. If we do go through with the divorce it will be simple because I did the whole passport bro thing. I wont have to deal with the US court system.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Not going to say that a lot of people here told you so.

Now, as you hopefully learned your lesson the hard way, get out out of there before she gets pregnant. Like NOW!

 

[Pandora]

Not going to say that a lot of people here told you so.

Now, as you hopefully learned your lesson the hard way, get out out of there before she gets pregnant. Like NOW!

Haha yeh people told me so. I can admit when I was wrong. Yeh im trying to exit.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I waited 39 yrs to get married and I still made the wrong choice...

I'm truly sorry to hear this Pandora. I was really rooting for ya for it to work.

With respect to what's quoted above, how would one even know they made the wrong choice for marriage until they are actually in and experiencing the marriage? True for both men and women.

I know of couples who were in long term relationships and/or cohabiting for years that were happy and peaceful, but once married it all eventually went to ****, with one or both claiming they made the wrong choice!

So don't beat yourself up too much, there was no way for you to know.

Those less than attractive girls who gave you peace? You have no idea what being married to them would have been like.

Both attractive and unattractive women (people) can make great partners in marriage or lousy partners. You can try and choose wisely but still never be certain.

Marriage changes things. The people involved and the dynamic, the expectations. It shouldn't but often does.

Anyway again I'm sorry it didn't work out.

 

[The Duke]

I was always a littler nervous about your confidence in marrying. But hey, it was an opportunity to learn more about yourself and you have gained wisdom as a result.

Only marry a woman that is attractive and at peace. A man needs both and it takes both to stay committed and have the best chance of lasting. And you can get both, its just not very common.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Just out of curiosity, weren’t you the one who moved out of the country to live with this girl and her parents? Is this just frustration talking, or are you actually considering divorce?

If that’s the situation, I’ll be honest, it’s hard to be the king without owning the castle, especially when you’re living under someone else’s roof. Sometimes the constant complaining can stem from a lack of trust in the man’s leadership, or it could just be the usual mix of fights, **** tests, and general friction that happens in relationships.

Either way, you might want to read about the slave–master mentality. Unfortunately, it’s genderless and can show up in relationships when roles and authority are unclear. You could also check out the MRP subreddit. A lot of guys there recommend taking about six months to really work on yourself, own your ****, and strengthen your frame before making any major decisions. To be fair, MRP gave me mixed results when it came to fixing a relationship, but it did give me a path forward for future ones.

Own Your **** Weekly - March 03, 2026 : r/marriedredpill

Either way, good luck.

 

[Pandora]

Just out of curiosity, weren’t you the one who moved out of the country to live with this girl and her parents? Is this just frustration talking, or are you actually considering divorce?

If that’s the situation, I’ll be honest, it’s hard to be the king without owning the castle, especially when you’re living under someone else’s roof. Sometimes the constant complaining can stem from a lack of trust in the man’s leadership, or it could just be the usual mix of fights, **** tests, and general friction that happens in relationships.

Either way, you might want to read about the slave–master mentality. Unfortunately, it’s genderless and can show up in relationships when roles and authority are unclear. You could also check out the MRP subreddit. A lot of guys there recommend taking about six months to really work on yourself, own your ****, and strengthen your frame before making any major decisions. To be fair, MRP gave me mixed results when it came to fixing a relationship, but it did give me a path forward for future ones.

Own Your **** Weekly - March 03, 2026 : r/marriedredpill

Either way, good luck.

Naw i didnt live with her parents. I always lived on my own with her. She lived with her parents. I would spend time in her country and then spend a few months in the USA but we always had our own apartment.

The issue is that she is very hyper emotional/ sensitive. I thought it would get better but it does not. I would not say she is quite BPD but she is on the spectrum. I am constantly catering to her emotions.

She is very loyal almost to the point of co dependency but that comes with a dark side. I want her to get on meds but she refuses. I should have screened better. We will see in the next few weeks what we decide.

You gave great advice though brother. Thank you!

 

[Pandora]

I'm truly sorry to hear this Pandora. I was really rooting for ya for it to work.

With respect to what's quoted above, how would one even know they made the wrong choice for marriage until they are actually in and experiencing the marriage? True for both men and women.

I know of couples who were in long term relationships and/or cohabiting for years that were happy and peaceful, but once married it all eventually went to ****, with one or both claiming they made the wrong choice!

So don't beat yourself up too much, there was no way for you to know.

Those less than attractive girls who gave you peace? You have no idea what being married to them would have been like.

Both attractive and unattractive women (people) can make great partners in marriage or lousy partners. You can try and choose wisely but still never be certain.

Marriage changes things. The people involved and the dynamic, the expectations. It shouldn't but often does.

Anyway again I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Thank you bro. You are so correct. I am over idealizing what the marriage to those other women would have been like. The problem is that my girl is very hypersensitive. She feels rejected very easily. I was in denial big time because everything else was perfect.

She is hot, no kids, loyal ( almost to a fault)...but I am constantly on eggshells because of her hypersensitivity. I have dealt with BPD girls before and this seems BPD adjacent. I am trying my best to manage it but its draining.

 

[Pandora]

I was always a littler nervous about your confidence in marrying. But hey, it was an opportunity to learn more about yourself and you have gained wisdom as a result.

Only marry a woman that is attractive and at peace. A man needs both and it takes both to stay committed and have the best chance of lasting. And you can get both, its just not very common.

You are right Duke I was over confident. It was a beautiful marriage, beautiful girl etc. I was in love man big time. Slowly the constant complaining and hypersensitivity is wearing me down. I have to be very careful not to make her feel rejected and she follows me everywhere lol. She cries at random things too.
Many fights stem from her vague feeling of me being " mean" etc. Im like girl you have a psych issue that I was in denial about.

The good news is that she has improved a lot so there is hope. Maybe I will keep trying but as of now its looking uncertain.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Naw i didnt live with her parents. I always lived on my own with her. She lived with her parents. I would spend time in her country and then spend a few months in the USA but we always had our own apartment.

The issue is that she is very hyper emotional/ sensitive. I thought it would get better but it does not. I would not say she is quite BPD but she is on the spectrum. I am constantly catering to her emotions.

She is very loyal almost to the point of co dependency but that comes with a dark side. I want her to get on meds but she refuses. I should have screened better. We will see in the next few weeks what we decide.

You gave great advice though brother. Thank you!

It sounds very similar to what happened to this guy: his girlfriend moved in with him, and she became “depressive, boring, and didn’t do anything after work apart from complaining that she was bored and stuck in the house all the time.” I’m not sure about the sex part, but he ended up breaking up with her because she was moody, depressive, and down. Hopefully these threads will help you out somewhat.

Anyway, whatever path you choose, good luck.

She gets bored frequently / Sex is decreased

Been together now for around 1 year. We live together, and don't start the crap "too early to move in together, you lost the game," not interested in that. I'm not interested in any of that crap if anyone want's to post that please leave this thread. I'm only interested in solid advice and...

www.sosuave.net

Current GF / Lost interest in Sex

Been gone for a while from this forums. Been building different things in my life and while all the rest is working like a clock, my love life and especially my sex life has been decreasing by a high margin. Long story short i posted in the past about this chick im with for about 17 months now...

www.sosuave.net

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Pandora "I dont think kids are in the cards for me and I am ok with this if it means I can keep my sanity and peace"

For the love of that's holy, don't put kids in the middle of this

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Naw i didnt live with her parents. I always lived on my own with her. She lived with her parents. I would spend time in her country and then spend a few months in the USA but we always had our own apartment.

The issue is that she is very hyper emotional/ sensitive. I thought it would get better but it does not. I would not say she is quite BPD but she is on the spectrum. I am constantly catering to her emotions.

She is very loyal almost to the point of co dependency but that comes with a dark side. I want her to get on meds but she refuses. I should have screened better. We will see in the next few weeks what we decide.

You gave great advice though brother. Thank you!

This girl is Armenian if memory serves?

AI summary from Google Query "are Armenians emotional?"

"Based on various global studies and cultural analyses, Armenians are frequently characterized as having a high intensity of emotion, particularly in response to geopolitical instability, historical trauma, and social challenges. "

AI summary from Google Query "are Armenians loyal?"

"Armenians are generally characterized as fiercely loyal, patriotic, and deeply rooted in family, culture, and heritage. Known for extreme hospitality, they often treat guests like family. Historically, they were considered a "loyal nation" within empires and tend to maintain strong, enduring connections to their community. "

Apparently Armenia is the angriest country in the world and Armenians feel the least loved:

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-Armenia-the-most-angry-country-in-the-world

ArmenianS are the people who feel least loved in the world, what do you think is the reason behind that?

She sounds more Armenian than crazy to me. Although that may be splitting hairs.

Armenians in and around Glendale, CA are notorious for driving 100 mph on the freeway shoulder. Apparently "my way or the highway" translates to "the highway is mine."

Getting off the road might not be the worst idea.

Edit - since I crapped on the Turks the other day, might as well strike some balance.

Dem Caucasians be cray cray, from the Black Sea to the Caspian. To be fair, one wouldn't want to be encircled by Russians, Turks and Iranians ideally. Or to be a "Christian" in the land of Mohammed.

If there is one defining characteristic of the people in that part of the world, that would be stubbornness. Witness Iran.

OP you say she's improved on her hypersensitivity but she may have maxed that out. Stubbornness is the opposite of compliance.

 

[plumber]

You are right Duke I was over confident. It was a beautiful marriage, beautiful girl etc. I was in love man big time. Slowly the constant complaining and hypersensitivity is wearing me down. I have to be very careful not to make her feel rejected and she follows me everywhere lol. She cries at random things too.
Many fights stem from her vague feeling of me being " mean" etc. Im like girl you have a psych issue that I was in denial about.

The good news is that she has improved a lot so there is hope. Maybe I will keep trying but as of now its looking uncertain.

that over emotional thing. its not always for the same reasons. if she is good more or less across the board about other stuff look closer...

emotional deregulation. its difficult/impossible to understand for someone that does not experience it. also its a control lever, to control you. it only works because your likely a decent guy... it doesn't work on turds...

if you ran out of other things to try and don't want to walk yet do this:

- when she says something that makes you feel bad get up and go away, other room, outside, away. do it consistently. always scan for real problem that you should solve. most of them are just emotional energy.
- if you don't respond and feed the negative energy it stops. it need fuel.
- reduce the amount of time spent together by 1/2.

she cries or is upset, you react. she is in control of the emotional situation at that time and maybe that's comfortable for her. don't play, disengage. come back later, do not try to resolve it, do not bring it up again, just move on with other topics/activities.

this isn't really a bad girl or manipulative girl although it could be. for some managing emotional discharge does not work like it does for you.

If you have a long list of complaints then just arrange to split, but if its just her controlling with emotion you might be able to overcome that.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm truly sorry to hear this Pandora. I was really rooting for ya for it to work.

With respect to what's quoted above, how would one even know they made the wrong choice for marriage until they are actually in and experiencing the marriage? True for both men and women.

I know of couples who were in long term relationships and/or cohabiting for years that were happy and peaceful, but once married it all eventually went to ****, with one or both claiming they made the wrong choice!

So don't beat yourself up too much, there was no way for you to know.

Those less than attractive girls who gave you peace? You have no idea what being married to them would have been like.

Both attractive and unattractive women (people) can make great partners in marriage or lousy partners. You can try and choose wisely but still never be certain.

Marriage changes things. The people involved and the dynamic, the expectations. It shouldn't but often does.

Anyway again I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Most people blissfully ignore red flags either because they are too infatuated to see them or because they are too infatuated to believe them.

It's exceedingly rare where someone marries someone, then gets dovorced and there weren't any red flags showing prior.

At the end of the day...people not screening well enough for what actually matters long-term is the usual culprit

 

[Gamisch]

Every woman you deal with gonna be overly emotional. Cmon man...I don't know why men keep being surprised about this. Someone said Armenian women , but believe me I've been with women from all around the globe and all of them are "overly " emotional to some degree.

By marrying/cohabitation all you do is speedrun the bs. What mightbe taken 1 year now happens in 2 months. You're constantly on each other's lip,no breathing room, so it will only accelerate negative characteristics.

I geuss it's just a valuable life lesson now...do not get married unless;

- a 2 year ltr is going great
- cohabitation is going great
- having kids going great

Only then you can think about marriage.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Pandora "If we do go through with the divorce it will be simple because I did the whole passport bro thing. I wont have to deal with the US court system"

Rejoice also in the knowledge that men have gotten through sh-t like this since times immemorial, and even sung about it* from time to time

*Train roll on
On down the line, won't you
Please take me far away?
Now I feel the wind blow
Outside my door, means I'm
I'm leaving my woman at home...

And I don't know
Oh, where I'm going
I just want to be left alone
Well, when this train ends
I'll try again, alright
I'm leaving my woman at home

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Billy,
"Apparently Armenia is the angriest country in the world and Armenians feel the least loved".They have much to be angry about,some time ago,I bought a necklace in Istanbul from an Armenian jeweller,talking as you do,he told me that in the Turkish genocide of his people,the River alongside which they lived,ran red with their blood,more than a million were murdered.

 

[Slowhandluke]

If we do go through with the divorce it will be simple because I did the whole passport bro thing. I wont have to deal with the US court system.

Advantages of being a "passport bro". Also, I notice the OP's issues are emotional. if it was a native wife, not only will the issues be emotional, but also financial. To be honest, all relationships have issues. Nothing is ever rosy. However, as long as the husband has the advantage -- financially, emotionally, etc. I still think it's worth "working it out".

Once the wife has the upper hand, it's no longer "worth it". Wives can be irrational.. however, being irrational and having power. That's a bad combination. With this, she can destroy her life.. and yours. The best marriages are when the wives have no "hard" power; this keeps their emotional roller coaster in check.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Billy,
"... This girl is Armenian if memory serves?"From memory,this was never clarified,I suggested Tajikistan,but no,Pandora feeds out information like James Bond,on a need to know basis,I was convinced at the time that his dusky consort was a Muslim...You have all eyes on you Pandora,more clues please,lets continue this hunt the slipper game.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Hi Billy,
"... This girl is Armenian if memory serves?"From memory,this was never clarified,I suggested Tajikistan,but no,Pandora feeds out information like James Bond,on a need to know basis,I was convinced at the time that his dusky consort was a Muslim...You have all eyes on you Pandora,more clues please,lets continue this hunt the slipper game.

Even if this is the chick from the Dagestan region, it's still the same insecure, turmoil-filled part of the world filled with stubborn people. Chechnya is around the corner.