Plinco's cold approach journal

[Plinco]

@BackInTheGame78 I see you're on this forum quite a bit. I'd like to see you entertain me again. Living this place up if that's your fancy.

 

[DonJefe19]

When I'm out, I've applied the whole social proof thing, but sometimes I don't feel like I must socialize, like I know that I don't have to prove anything. In other words, I feel confident in my own skin that I don't have to pretend to be liked. I like talking to people, but it's optional, and sometimes I like to take a step back and observe what other people do. Of course I like dancing too.

You didn't really apply the advice though. Where are you establishing a group and showing camaraderie with them? Where are you demonstrating high value behavior with people in the venue? Where are you establishing relationships with key people (promoter, etc.)? Are you actually making an effort to building relationships with people outside of the nightclub scene?

All I am reading from your log is the same strategy that you been doing prior to us giving you advice to gain social proof: You go to a venue and approach, with your fingers crossed, that the interaction will go your way. All outbound, no sales.

 

[Plinco]

You didn't really apply the advice though. Where are you establishing a group and showing camaraderie with them?

To some degree, yes, two guys, and acquaintances from them I was getting to know. That night however they didn't show. I got there a little bit later and didn't catch the vibes that were already building so I was vibing at a different level. I went in to self-assured observation mode. I left early that night, after one hour of the dance class portion of the night, because I planned on saving my sleep for Friday night, which didn't happen because I keep getting too tired for sleep to go out on Friday nights.

Where are you demonstrating high value behavior with people in the venue?

I have no idea on how to demonstrate high value behavior other than being authentic. My thoughts are generally pretty disconnected from other people.

Where are you establishing relationships with key people (promoter, etc.)?

I've done this a very small, little bit, but not at all recently. I don't know what to say to these people.

Are you actually making an effort to building relationships with people outside of the nightclub scene?

The four places I go besides this nightclub are being out and about where I occasionally approach people (so far this has never resulted in any meaningful relationship), my business (not conducive for that kind of relationship), my Muay Thai gym (I go in the mornings, older people there), and my weightlifting gym (@BPH had suggested would be a good place to meet people). I went to a meetup group a couple of times of 20/30 somethings; and I think that might work too. I don't want to do any more places because it will put too much on my plate.

 

[Plinco]

Appreciate you posting the metrics. @SW15 would’ve pointed out the numbers in the past so I’ll do it now since he’s out…

Imo you should approach more.

96 cold approaches / 27 nights out = 3.55 average approaches a night, so we’ll round up and say 4 approaches a night on average.

You need a big city & more volume. For me, I’ve had to get into the mid 30s to early 40s to pull, & other wings I’ve gamed with had the same experience. When you up the volume it’s more statistically likely you’ll pull.

Just my $.02

To clarify, is that 35 to 40 approaches per night?


I'm currently at 10 approaches so far for this month, and I did 7 last month (17 so far year to date).

I've been working on my appearance, I feel much more confident than before, I'm dressing better, going to the gym on a regular basis and getting stronger. I think I need to do something about my hair and I should look into taking melatonin so I can sleep better.

I also really need to up my social circle game as @DonJefe19 pointed out, and @justaroundthecorner mentioned before pushing his agenda on me. I'm going to see if I can gain acquaintances at my gym, look to see when the next meetup for millennials is, and try to make friends/acquaintances at this place I go dancing at.

With one date out of 96 approaches last year, maybe I have an optics problem haha.

 

[Plinco]

So after four hours of sleep, I made a video to post on youtube and also did some thinking about the whole social circle issue, and I believe I got my thinking oriented correctly.

It's not that I'm disconnected from other people, it's that other people are disconnected from me. A CEO I used to chat with once told me that it's not who you know, it's who knows you. He also said that the most successful people are good communicators.

If people are disconnected from me, it's because I'm not communicating myself well enough. I have work to do today, and afterwards I'm going out for a little while and work on those communication skills a bit harder.

 

[Plinco]

Tonight I gave several people a chance to get to know me and it was a success. I made one cold approach, my method was decent but unbeknownst to me she had a husband.

 

[crowolf]

Have you tried not being rigidly analytical, and instead just having fun and vibing without any agenda?

Perhaps the only agenda: when the opportunity is there, catch it. And when a woman is staying in the conversation, engaged and having fun, lead forward in the "mating process". But not in a needy way. Let some space in.

 

[Plinco]

Have you tried not being rigidly analytical, and instead just having fun and vibing without any agenda?

Perhaps the only agenda: when the opportunity is there, catch it. And when a woman is staying in the conversation, engaged and having fun, lead forward in the "mating process". But not in a needy way. Let some space in.

I'm a weird dude that can think in both ways at the same time. My best friend and my closest family gave up trying to figure me out a long time ago.

 

[Plinco]

I actually got a match on Hinge. My texting game is terrible so I want to run it by here

"Great and kicking some grass"

"What's your very favorite part of your day and why"

 

[Plinco]

My dancing is getting better, and I'm getting to know more people in this venue. My appearance still sucks. I don't know what to do with my hair. I might chop it off again.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I actually got a match on Hinge. My texting game is terrible so I want to run it by here

"Great and kicking some grass"

"What's your very favorite part of your day and why"

Use this structure = open > small banter > soft close > hard close

Open:
Starts the conversation in a simple, contextual way related to the interaction, her profile or something you talked about before. The goal is just to get engagement. If she responds normally and engages, that’s green light. If she replies but it’s short or delayed, that’s yellow light. If she ignores you or gives a cold response, that’s red light.

Example:
“Hey gorgeous, how’s your week going so far?”

Small banter:
This is where you build a little interaction before jumping into logistics. Joke, tease, or react to what she said. The goal is to see if she invests back. If she’s replying quickly and playing along, that’s green. If she responds but without much energy, that’s yellow/light. If she becomes dry or disengaged, that’s red.

Example:
Her: “Yeah I’ve been studying all day for exams.”
You: “That sounds rough. You’re definitely overdue for a break.”

Soft close:
This is where you test the waters before asking her out directly. A soft close is basically giving a hint that meeting up is coming. One of the important things is that a soft close signals what’s coming next, in which she starts anticipating the hard close. This makes the transition smoother and provides a cushion for it.

Example:
“You should take a break from all that studying and grab a drink with a fun guy.”

If she responds positively, that’s green.
Example: “Haha yeah that actually sounds nice.”

If she gives a mild objection, that’s yellow/light.
Example: “I’ve been really busy lately though.”

If she rejects the idea or pulls away, that’s red.
Example: “I don’t really meet people like that.”

Hard close:
Once you get a green, you move to logistics. Suggest a specific day or plan. Because the soft close already introduced the idea of meeting, the hard close feels natural instead of abrupt. If she cooperates with scheduling, that stays green. If she hesitates or stalls, it can drop to yellow/light, meaning you might need a bit more interaction before trying again.

Example:
“I’m busy most of the week but Thursday evening works. We can grab a drink and give you a proper break from those classes.”

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Be careful what you use to open. Generic questions like “What’s your favorite part of your day and why?” often make her do all the work and provide value immediately. Only highly attractive, confident guys can get away with one-word replies or emojis and still succeed. If you’re not that type, it’s better to use humor, coquettish teasing, or playful pick-up lines that flatter.

Example: Instead of a generic question, I would have used: “I’m just here wondering if it hurt when you fell from heaven, because you’re an angel ”

 

[Plinco]

Use this structure = open > small banter > soft close > hard close

Open:
Starts the conversation in a simple, contextual way related to the interaction, her profile or something you talked about before. The goal is just to get engagement. If she responds normally and engages, that’s green light. If she replies but it’s short or delayed, that’s yellow light. If she ignores you or gives a cold response, that’s red light.

Example:
“Hey gorgeous, how’s your week going so far?”

Small banter:
This is where you build a little interaction before jumping into logistics. Joke, tease, or react to what she said. The goal is to see if she invests back. If she’s replying quickly and playing along, that’s green. If she responds but without much energy, that’s yellow/light. If she becomes dry or disengaged, that’s red.

Example:
Her: “Yeah I’ve been studying all day for exams.”
You: “That sounds rough. You’re definitely overdue for a break.”

Soft close:
This is where you test the waters before asking her out directly. A soft close is basically giving a hint that meeting up is coming. One of the important things is that a soft close signals what’s coming next, in which she starts anticipating the hard close. This makes the transition smoother and provides a cushion for it.

Example:
“You should take a break from all that studying and grab a drink with a fun guy.”

If she responds positively, that’s green.
Example: “Haha yeah that actually sounds nice.”

If she gives a mild objection, that’s yellow/light.
Example: “I’ve been really busy lately though.”

If she rejects the idea or pulls away, that’s red.
Example: “I don’t really meet people like that.”

Hard close:
Once you get a green, you move to logistics. Suggest a specific day or plan. Because the soft close already introduced the idea of meeting, the hard close feels natural instead of abrupt. If she cooperates with scheduling, that stays green. If she hesitates or stalls, it can drop to yellow/light, meaning you might need a bit more interaction before trying again.

Example:
“I’m busy most of the week but Thursday evening works. We can grab a drink and give you a proper break from those classes.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be careful what you use to open. Generic questions like “What’s your favorite part of your day and why?” often make her do all the work and provide value immediately. Only highly attractive, confident guys can get away with one-word replies or emojis and still succeed. If you’re not that type, it’s better to use humor, coquettish teasing, or playful pick-up lines that flatter.

Example: Instead of a generic question, I would have used: “I’m just here wondering if it hurt when you fell from heaven, because you’re an angel ”

I appreciate it thank you. I implicitly used something close to this technique when I used swipe apps a decade ago. One big change I've noticed, is that back then people wouldn't double text, they would write their response in one message, whereas zoomers will write out their responses in broken form, like multiple, single sentence responses.

 

[nicksaiz65]

To clarify, is that 35 to 40 approaches per night?


I'm currently at 10 approaches so far for this month, and I did 7 last month (17 so far year to date).

I've been working on my appearance, I feel much more confident than before, I'm dressing better, going to the gym on a regular basis and getting stronger. I think I need to do something about my hair and I should look into taking melatonin so I can sleep better.

I also really need to up my social circle game as @DonJefe19 pointed out, and @justaroundthecorner mentioned before pushing his agenda on me. I'm going to see if I can gain acquaintances at my gym, look to see when the next meetup for millennials is, and try to make friends/acquaintances at this place I go dancing at.

With one date out of 96 approaches last year, maybe I have an optics problem haha.

Correct, this is per night. That should be doable in a 4 hour session at night assuming you’re in a big city. I think numbers game wise, there’s only one time I’ve hit 50?

That said, I totally did have to work my way up to this and desensitize myself. I’m still doing it on my solo sessions.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Correct, this is per night. That should be doable in a 4 hour session at night assuming you’re in a big city. I think numbers game wise, there’s only one time I’ve hit 50?

That said, I totally did have to work my way up to this and desensitize myself. I’m still doing it on my solo sessions.

Oh, I meant to word this differently. I meant “hit 50 before pulling first.” That should be more clear.

 

[Plinco]

I measured my body fat percentage using the Jackson and Pollock method. I weighed myself before eating dinner and without clothes to get an accurate weight.

I currently weigh 169 pounds, and I have 14.1% body fat. I'm 5'10'' without shoes.

 

[tksniper]

I actually got a match on Hinge. My texting game is terrible so I want to run it by here

"Great and kicking some grass"

"What's your very favorite part of your day and why"

I would use my method (yes I have my own method now). Assume attraction for every online match.

Don’t try to create attraction anymore. Instead, build rapport.

Try to find something interesting about her and relate to that.

Then use that commonality to escalate for a date.

 

[Plinco]

Three weeks into March. Not one cold approach so far for the month. I haven't gone out as much, and when I have, I have not seen any single women whom I wanted to approach.

My business has been taking a hit recently. I had a really bad start to the year and have actually lost money so far. Here on the east coast of Florida, we just had the hardest freeze since 1989, and that killed my business for the month of February. I gained two new customers last month, but now it looks like I'm losing eleven soon. The higher gas prices don't help me either.

I need to make some new customers, at least 15. I also need to do a lot more cold approaches; I should be doing 100/month.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Please don’t be going around saying “Hey I like you” to women.

that is all.

 

[Plinco]

Please don’t be going around saying “Hey I like you” to women.

that is all.

I don't exactly say that, but please explain.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I don't exactly say that, but please explain.

Idk. It seems… hokey that approach.
Going direct with indent removes the opportunity to flirt completely. (As flirting is by definition ambiguous signalling of sexual interest.)

girls love to flex their flirt .
It turns them on and makes them wet to do it.
Like. I can get a girl near sopping wet sometimes using innuendo and sexual analogies , and ramping arousal that way, just with tonality ,body language and the words on top.

why would a guy want to remove THAT opportunity in an approach ..(?) Impatience or something. Idk