"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Plinco's cold approach journal

Clockwerk50

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A couple of things:
  1. The basics of attraction are simple: people who have extra free time, feel like you have something they don’t, or are going through a rough patch, like losing a parent or dealing with hardship, tend to be easier to attract. That’s almost the opposite of a typical young college girl. Most are financially supported by their family, swamped with schoolwork (and maybe a job), and excited about the independence of college life and the new adventures in the future. There’s not much an older man can offer when most of her needs are already fulfilled. On the other hand, if a woman is at a technical college, has a rough relationship with her parents, or is struggling financially, that is another story.

  2. About social circles in a club: the bouncer, DJ, and bartender already have social status. Being friends with them mostly helps the staff, not you. The person you want to know is the club promoter. Book a table with him, grab some drinks with your friends, and invite girls there for a drink. Younger women today are often drawn to the hype and the experience - your jewelry, your clothes, the lights, the music, the energy, like if you were a rapper or a member of a rock band or the experience if they would be at a concert, a festival, or following an influencer.

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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BackInTheGame78

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A couple of things:
  1. The basics of attraction are simple: people who have extra free time, feel like you have something they don’t, or are going through a rough patch, like losing a parent or dealing with hardship, tend to be easier to attract. That’s almost the opposite of a typical young college girl. Most are financially supported by their family, swamped with schoolwork (and maybe a job), and excited about the independence of college life and the new adventures in the future. There’s not much an older man can offer when most of her needs are already fulfilled. On the other hand, if a woman is at a technical college, has a rough relationship with her parents, or is struggling financially, that is another story.

  2. About social circles in a club: the bouncer, DJ, and bartender already have social status. Being friends with them mostly helps the staff, not you. The person you want to know is the club promoter. Book a table with him, grab some drinks with your friends, and invite girls there for a drink. Younger women today are often drawn to the hype and the experience - your jewelry, your clothes, the lights, the music, the energy, like if you were a rapper or a member of a rock band or the experience if they would be at a concert, a festival, or following an influencer.

View attachment 14993

Exactly...the club promoter or the DJ. Nobody gives a F about knowing a bouncer or bartender.

But most DJs don't really want to deal with people trying to come up and hang out with them while they are working so club promoter is easier...

And if you actually want to have a good chance of making something happen, get to the point where you get invited to the after hour parties.

That's where the real fvcking and debauchery goes on, not at the club itself. That's just foreplay for later.

I've seen some of the wildest sh!t of my life at those after hour parties.

Amateurs work the clubs. Pros work the after parties, and trust me it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend there with her...if I had a dollar for every time I saw a girl who was at one of those parties with her boyfriend come downstairs after getting fvcked by another guy in a different part of the house, I would have well over $100.

Sometimes I was DJing at them, but other times I was just there hanging out and let's just say I really hope that nobody ever has an emergency surgery that needs to be done late at night on a weekend...
 
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Plinco

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Exactly...the club promoter or the DJ. Nobody gives a F about knowing a bouncer or bartender.

But most DJs don't really want to deal with people trying to come up and hang out with them while they are working so club promoter is easier...

And if you actually want to have a good chance of making something happen, get to the point where you get invited to the after hour parties.

That's where the real fvcking and debauchery goes on, not at the club itself. That's just foreplay for later.

I've seen some of the wildest sh!t of my life at those after hour parties.

Amateurs work the clubs. Pros work the after parties, and trust me it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend there with her...if I had a dollar for every time I saw a girl who was at one of those parties with her boyfriend come downstairs after getting fvcked by another guy in a different part of the house, I would have well over $100.

Sometimes I was DJing at them, but other times I was just there hanging out and let's just say I really hope that nobody ever has an emergency surgery that needs to be done late at night on a weekend...
I think your experience is fantastic, and like I said, I don't think you're stupid. I just wish you could put your thoughts together coherently.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Plinco

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I want to introduce some of my motivational stuff for the lurkers

 

Plinco

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Plinco

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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Plinco

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Plinco

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Just came home from a college bar/dance club. Had a blast. Took @DonJefe19 advice and worked on improving my social proof. I talked to a few people and made a couple of acquaintances. I hit the dance floor for almost half of the time I was there. The vibes were really good in this place. I made four cold approaches.

1 she was polite with me but told me she had a boyfriend
2 conversation started off nice but fizzled out after about three minutes
3 cold shoulder
4 was entertaining. I decided to make one last approach before I left. This girl was actually over 21. I walked up to her and told her that I thought she looked pretty and I wanted to come say "hi." She responds with saying "hi" sarcastically, and then her friend shook her head and said "no no no!" I smirked and said "okay, well you two have a nice night then," and I could see her friend get visibly p!ssed as I walked off.
 

DonJefe19

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Just came home from a college bar/dance club. Had a blast. Took @DonJefe19 advice and worked on improving my social proof. I talked to a few people and made a couple of acquaintances. I hit the dance floor for almost half of the time I was there. The vibes were really good in this place. I made four cold approaches.

1 she was polite with me but told me she had a boyfriend
2 conversation started off nice but fizzled out after about three minutes
3 cold shoulder
4 was entertaining. I decided to make one last approach before I left. This girl was actually over 21. I walked up to her and told her that I thought she looked pretty and I wanted to come say "hi." She responds with saying "hi" sarcastically, and then her friend shook her head and said "no no no!" I smirked and said "okay, well you two have a nice night then," and I could see her friend get visibly p!ssed as I walked off.
Eh - it's a step in the right direction The previous interactions in venue do help with establishing, "Oh this guys is talking to people, he must be a regular, not creepy" but not exactly what I was suggesting. Maybe instead of hitting up the club, why not find a salsa/bachata class in the area and getting to know the crowd there? Then you can invite people on your outings. Or finding a volleyball coed league and inviting folks out with ya there.

Even finding club promoters in the area and making friends with them?
 

Plinco

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This morning I decided to log on to Tinder and Bumble. I ran out of people in the 18-35 range in a 50 mile radius (with 'likes' left over).

Yesterday I had a 30ish year old woman hitting on me at the grocery store. It was fun talking to her a bit. She wasn't bad looking but looked a bit jaded; like she lacked energy.

Currently I'm only at 7 approaches for this month so far, and it should be a lot higher. I'm going to make an effort to go to places to approach in the afternoons and evenings for more days in the rest of this month.
 

Plinco

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Just got a number. My volume is low and I'm not the best looking guy either so I don't get many of those. I'm going to text her tomorrow and see what happens.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Plinco

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7 this month? :up:

Still more than most these blokes will have all year.
My success rate is pretty low, so I think I'll need no less than one per day on average. Last year I made 96 approaches, got two phone numbers and went on one date.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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My success rate is pretty low, so I think I'll need no less than one per day on average. Last year I made 96 approaches, got two phone numbers and went on one date.
We need to talk. :oops:
 

Plinco

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When I'm out, I've applied the whole social proof thing, but sometimes I don't feel like I must socialize, like I know that I don't have to prove anything. In other words, I feel confident in my own skin that I don't have to pretend to be liked. I like talking to people, but it's optional, and sometimes I like to take a step back and observe what other people do. Of course I like dancing too.


We need to talk. :oops:
Anytime
 

Plinco

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Usually I make notes in my profile posts, but I'm going to make some notes here.

The strategy for dating is the following:

1. Know yourself, including knowing what you stand for, which is part of integrating with reality
2. Take full control of every aspect of yourself to the best of your ability
3. Work on being the best version of yourself
4. After you make a habit of being the best version of yourself, it is a numbers game, so it's all about volume.


The problem with men is that they are conditioned to be self-destructive, particularity in a way that they lack discipline.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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