SW15
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 31, 2020
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Getting a 10+ year age gap usually requires an above average income/net worth.I'm not rich but I'm not poor either. So you think it's transactional?
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Getting a 10+ year age gap usually requires an above average income/net worth.I'm not rich but I'm not poor either. So you think it's transactional?
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
The way I approach it, I'm not looking for an age gap relationship. As it happens, I'm attracted to women much younger than I am.Getting a 10+ year age gap usually requires an above average income/net worth.
Are they attracted to you? What's the incentive for an 18-25 year old to spend their time with you vs. others?As it happens, I'm attracted to women much younger than I am.
That's the 64,000 dollar question. Regardless if I'm in control over that or not, I'm responsible for it.Are they attracted to you? What's the incentive for an 18-25 year old to spend their time with you vs. others?
No offence man, but to date women so young your vibe would need to scream "I'm fun & fun to be with" and you would need to have the ability to naturally enter the social circle of such person (either with age compatibility, very high SMV, social ties or golden key of money advantage) while you are the person that thinks being 41y old guy cold approaching 20y old women on regular basis is day like everyday and perfectly acceptable.More like 18 to 25
I appreciate the advice but no amount of sex or companionship is worth pretending to be someone I'm not. I'm also not going to swipe right on women whom I'm not attracted to.No offence man, but to date women so young your vibe would need to scream "I'm fun & fun to be with" and you would need to have the ability to naturally enter the social circle of such person (either with age compatibility, very high SMV, social ties or golden key of money advantage) while you are the person that thinks being 41y old guy cold approaching 20y old women on regular basis is day like everyday and perfectly acceptable.
Now, what you give off (in "vibe") that I read between the lines from this thread is that you are probably somewhat on the spectrum (focused on numbers, stats, increasing odds in somewhat direct manner by increasing repetitions, tying it up with self-improvement) and young woman may perceive your behaviour as somewhat creepy.
Now, it seems that reality is as follows:
- you are 41y old guy probably looking slightly younger than you are (unless literally every second person tells you you look much younger than you do, you are not looking that young)
- you are slightly above average in money but your job is boring
- your height is 5′ 10″ therefore it's just ok
- you drive an old car that gives off "I'm 40y old" vibe
- you do martial arts which may be interesting for some women but will probably also scare some off (natural alphas i.e. guys that treated martial arts as one of their primary interest in their late teens/early 20's and somewhat exceeled at them, are mostly past that stage already), note that martial arts were cool for millenial women while you are targetting Z and snow flake gen that prefers effeminated men;
- at 41y old you still don't know how to properly calibrate your dating profile on Tinder which tells me you lack in the field in social situations awareness
- you like cars like jeep, pickup etc.
My suggestions: drop down martial arts (waste of time at your age if you are still single), pick hiking as a new hobby and acquire good quality hiking gear, use your car which naturally fits exploring nature of travelling & hiking and go to some cool hiking trip - do a lot of photos there to make sure at least some will be good. Ask people on a trail to make some nice photos of you (they will be happy to help you). Do not make weird poses, smile naturally. Peacock slightly for photos (get natural tan if you don't have it, buy pricey red bandana and use it to cover neck, buy HQ sunglasses).
Enter some outdoor sports group on social media as well and try to make some connections. Learn to cook 2-3 cool italian and french dishes (literally cook them for yourself and try make them perfect) and enter some cooking social group as well. Discuss with other ppl - only positive comments, only happy open vibe, do not enter into fights online. Meanwhile check your teeths - need to look healthy AF.
Concerning Tinder and dating profile - set up age span like 25 - 48. Buy Gold subscription. Add new photos from your travelling & cool things you cooked. Preferably add some photos from trip to Europe. Swipe right 80% of single mothers, older ladies, fat women - keep them in matches, allow them to start convos, reply the convos from time to time ("hi!", "how are you today", "do you live long in ..." - reply each question in irregular fashion <1 hour - 20 hours> cut the convo short when woman will answer the last question - it will imply that perhaps something made you busy or took your attention - this will keep you in her matches for some time). A lot of matches and convos going will create jumping pad in the app for you and increase visibility of your profile to younger females.
Add some short description like "Hope you like hiking too" & "Swipe right if you think French&Italian cousine are the best" or smthng like that. Add photo from some rock concert you recently attended (one will be enough), pick some band that 25-35 year old chicks like (no progressive rock or smthng - I love it personally but its for old farts in women eyes). Do not add photos of animals. Do not add photos w/o shirt. Wearing t-shirt showing your muscled arms is ok.
Reality check: You might get a date with 25y old woman this way but it may be an uphill battle as, being absolutely honest, you would need to be in 1% of male attractiveness to pick up women 20 years younger than you and you seem to be just slightly above average. Realistically, an attractive woman around 32 years old should be your golden target right now and will provide a challenge. If very attractive 34-35 years old woman would strike your attention (and vice versa) I would not refuse the date if I was on your place.
The key word here is appropriate. Having a relationship with a woman whom I'm not attracted to is not appropriate; not for me or her. I divorced a woman not long ago because I didn't find her sexually attractive, despite the fact that I'm sure that she would have passed for above average looks to most men.Applying strategy that works is not about pretending, it's about upgrading your set of tactical moves to get the best effect for your efforts.
Companionship and sex are certainly better than lack of both if experienced with appropriate person - there's also a healthy level of self-esteem and sometimes there's a delusion of it.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
75% of women 18 to 20 on Tinder are attractiveI think I need to make clear to some on here what kind of women I'm interested as it relates to age. Obviously there's more to it than that, but here are my empirical observations from Tinder if I extend the radius to 100 miles (there are less than 500 women within a 25 mile radius of where I live between 18 to 35).
How many I swiped right/20:
31-35 3/20
26-30 3/20
21-25 7/20
18-20 15/20
I'm going to see about posting more observations later.
I don't dance but I do go to a string of bars once or twice a month on a Friday or Saturday night and do an approach here or there when warranted.Hmm not good man, it seems that you live in rural area - it seriously limits online dating effectiveness - in rural area you probably need to mix online dating with attending any discos/clubs that gather were locals looking for dancing/fun on the weekend.
I thought about dissecting this further. When I get the time, I will.No offence man, but to date women so young your vibe would need to scream "I'm fun & fun to be with" and you would need to have the ability to naturally enter the social circle of such person (either with age compatibility, very high SMV, social ties or golden key of money advantage) while you are the person that thinks being 41y old guy cold approaching 20y old women on regular basis is day like everyday and perfectly acceptable.
Now, what you give off (in "vibe") that I read between the lines from this thread is that you are probably somewhat on the spectrum (focused on numbers, stats, increasing odds in somewhat direct manner by increasing repetitions, tying it up with self-improvement) and young woman may perceive your behaviour as somewhat creepy.
Now, it seems that reality is as follows:
- you are 41y old guy probably looking slightly younger than you are (unless literally every second person tells you you look much younger than you do, you are not looking that young)
- you are slightly above average in money but your job is boring
- your height is 5′ 10″ therefore it's just ok
- you drive an old car that gives off "I'm 40y old" vibe
- you do martial arts which may be interesting for some women but will probably also scare some off (natural alphas i.e. guys that treated martial arts as one of their primary interest in their late teens/early 20's and somewhat exceeled at them, are mostly past that stage already), note that martial arts were cool for millenial women while you are targetting Z and snow flake gen that prefers effeminated men;
- at 41y old you still don't know how to properly calibrate your dating profile on Tinder which tells me you lack in the field in social situations awareness
- you like cars like jeep, pickup etc.
My suggestions: drop down martial arts (waste of time at your age if you are still single), pick hiking as a new hobby and acquire good quality hiking gear, use your car which naturally fits exploring nature of travelling & hiking and go to some cool hiking trip - do a lot of photos there to make sure at least some will be good. Ask people on a trail to make some nice photos of you (they will be happy to help you). Do not make weird poses, smile naturally. Peacock slightly for photos (get natural tan if you don't have it, buy pricey red bandana and use it to cover neck, buy HQ sunglasses).
Enter some outdoor sports group on social media as well and try to make some connections. Learn to cook 2-3 cool italian and french dishes (literally cook them for yourself and try make them perfect) and enter some cooking social group as well. Discuss with other ppl - only positive comments, only happy open vibe, do not enter into fights online. Meanwhile check your teeths - need to look healthy AF.
Concerning Tinder and dating profile - set up age span like 25 - 48. Buy Gold subscription. Add new photos from your travelling & cool things you cooked. Preferably add some photos from trip to Europe. Swipe right 80% of single mothers, older ladies, fat women - keep them in matches, allow them to start convos, reply the convos from time to time ("hi!", "how are you today", "do you live long in ..." - reply each question in irregular fashion <1 hour - 20 hours> cut the convo short when woman will answer the last question - it will imply that perhaps something made you busy or took your attention - this will keep you in her matches for some time). A lot of matches and convos going will create jumping pad in the app for you and increase visibility of your profile to younger females.
Add some short description like "Hope you like hiking too" & "Swipe right if you think French&Italian cousine are the best" or smthng like that. Add photo from some rock concert you recently attended (one will be enough), pick some band that 25-35 year old chicks like (no progressive rock or smthng - I love it personally but its for old farts in women eyes). Do not add photos of animals. Do not add photos w/o shirt. Wearing t-shirt showing your muscled arms is ok.
Reality check: You might get a date with 25y old woman this way but it may be an uphill battle as, being absolutely honest, you would need to be in 1% of male attractiveness to pick up women 20 years younger than you and you seem to be just slightly above average. Realistically, an attractive woman around 32 years old should be your golden target right now and will provide a challenge. If very attractive 34-35 years old woman would strike your attention (and vice versa) I would not refuse the date if I was on your place.
Agreed. I’m definitely interesting. Fun? I think that depends on the person.No offence man, but to date women so young your vibe would need to scream "I'm fun & fun to be with"
If I think approaching these women is acceptable, then why wouldn’t it also be natural?and you would need to have the ability to naturally enter the social circle of such person (either with age compatibility, very high SMV, social ties or golden key of money advantage) while you are the person that thinks being 41y old guy cold approaching 20y old women on regular basis is day like everyday and perfectly acceptable.
It’s not like I’m telling these girls, “You’re the third young lady I’ve approached today to get a conversation hehehe”Now, what you give off (in "vibe") that I read between the lines from this thread is that you are probably somewhat on the spectrum (focused on numbers, stats, increasing odds in somewhat direct manner by increasing repetitions, tying it up with self-improvement) and young woman may perceive your behaviour as somewhat creepy.
I see a lot of young guys drive old pickup trucks. If not, then they are driving older cars, like Honda Civics or Dodge Chargers. Usually you don’t see gen Z’ers drive new vehicles, and many millennials for that matter too.- you drive an old car that gives off "I'm 40y old" vibe
- you like cars like jeep, pickup etc.
What specifically is not calibrated in my Tinder profile, besides my pictures?- at 41y old you still don't know how to properly calibrate your dating profile on Tinder which tells me you lack in the field in social situations awareness
I don’t know why you would suggest that. There are good reasons to know how to use your fists. As long as I’m healthy, what difference does it make what age I am?My suggestions: drop down martial arts (waste of time at your age if you are still single)
I appreciate the suggestion but I don’t have time to do that.pick hiking as a new hobby and acquire good quality hiking gear, use your car which naturally fits exploring nature of travelling & hiking and go to some cool hiking trip - do a lot of photos there to make sure at least some will be good. Ask people on a trail to make some nice photos of you (they will be happy to help you). Do not make weird poses, smile naturally. Peacock slightly for photos (get natural tan if you don't have it, buy pricey red bandana and use it to cover neck, buy HQ sunglasses).
It sounds like you’re into attracting women who are lame af.Learn to cook 2-3 cool italian and french dishes (literally cook them for yourself and try make them perfect) and enter some cooking social group as well.
Party pooper....do not enter into fights online.
Why on Earth would I do that? Women over 35 are going to have a hard time trying to conceive of a child. Why would I skip out on 18-24?Concerning Tinder and dating profile - set up age span like 25 - 48.
Do you think it’s worth it if there’s less than 500 women between 18 to 35 years old in my area?Buy Gold subscription.
A lot of matches and convos going will create jumping pad in the app for you and increase visibility of your profile to younger females.
Eww, gross, and disgusting. I wonder what that will do to my self-esteem?Swipe right 80% of single mothers, older ladies, fat women
The two 21 year old women I’m talking to, one listens to country and classical music, the other listens to classic rock.(no progressive rock or smthng - I love it personally but its for old farts in women eyes).
What’s wrong with getting to that top 1%?Reality check: You might get a date with 25y old woman this way but it may be an uphill battle as, being absolutely honest, you would need to be in 1% of male attractiveness to pick up women 20 years younger than you and you seem to be just slightly above average.
Why should 32 be a target?Realistically, an attractive woman around 32 years old should be your golden target right now and will provide a challenge.
Why? Most 34-35 year old women I would reject.If very attractive 34-35 years old woman would strike your attention (and vice versa) I would not refuse the date if I was on your place.
Again, I appreciate your input, but pretending to be someone you’re not, or seeking women who your not attracted to is definitely not effective.Applying strategy that works is not about pretending, it's about upgrading your set of tactical moves to get the best effect for your efforts.
Relax. Why are you offended?you can go full Chuck Norris on my advice as you please
If I wasn't interested in upgrading my game, I wouldn't make this thread. I'm guessing that you're implying that I'm still discovering the market when you are referring to 'reality test.' Is that correct?However I'm not sure if that's possible because in order to be successful with females, you need to either upgrade your game & pass the reality check or at least do the second - you are not interested in upgrading your game and you still think you can pull beautiful 20-something year old female staying on familiar path you like.
I figured that already. That's why I don't put too much hope in Tinder. This is one of the biggest reasons why I think cold approach is the way to go.Are you even aware that these days majority of 25 year old women put age filter in dating apps that does not go above 35 years old men? There is probably much more than 500 females on Tinder in the proximity of 25 Miles from you, but at least 50% of them (the more interesting 50% or more) does not want to meet you, on the lone criteria of your age already.
Okay that's cool. I feel like I'm special, and I'm definitely different. Is that attractive to most of the ladies? I don't know. It's attractive to a few though.So there you are, 41 year old guy (already old in eyes of 20-year olds) with not particularly interesting hobbies from female perspective, with non-exciting job from female perspective, rather typical single +40 y old guy. Your forte is probably your fitness and being methodical (which is not that much as you compete with much younger guys). You are probably overall just average in eyes of the young females that meet you, some might be even interested in playing you around to gain experience (because what is wrong with testing your limits, right?) - but imho it's not enough to get what you want. Women are never about average - even ugly women that are smart make concessions on male's attractiveness in exchange for some qualities he may provide better than other guys.
Thanks for calling me an ugly mother f'erThe funny thing is you may be quite handsome (because you still get some dates from time to time in spite of "damaged optics") so there's certainly some base that can be effectively upgraded in many ways - except you seem to prefer not to - which only stress out to me that you will not find much success with current approach.
I feel like I'm more in my prime now than ever. Of course that doesn't mean that other people think that way. I'm willing to work hard as hell to attract hot 18-20 year old women. I have ideas about how to do that, but if I was confident that I knew what I was doing, I wouldn't be making this thread.Tbh there are hundreds guys with your level of attractiveness in your relative proximity - and only few guys that know how to attract and romance chicks - it's your choice to be one of these guys ASAP (because you are already past your prime time) or stay average and dream about young princess picking aging plinco as he is.
Yes, perfect!Attractive female will want more - more emotions, more romance, better game, mature approach, experience (in case of older guys, it means to be more open, less impulsive and rigidly attached to what you think is right or wrong, knowing paths that younger guys never took)
That's not at all true. Somehow you're getting offended. Just relax, and I'm not putting you down or anything like that. I challenge people to see how good their ideas are. Think of this as Plinco's sh!t tests. It's not a bad thing that your ideas are being challenged.while your attitude is exactly the opposite - 41 year old guy worrying about self esteem hit from changing game strategy and covering it with "you are too attached to what other ppl think" talk which tbh sounds like 20 year old-something incel gibberish.
That's fine.Neither I am offended, nor I feel challenged or motivated to go into details how dating apps work, or wonder too much why passively aggressive 40+ year old guys think they are able to acquire top 1% male status while some other guys already get strokes or heart attacks at this age - I think you have full right to stick to your opinion as it may be and still be yourself.