Plinco's cold approach journal

[Plinco]

I made a thread back in 2019 about wanting to be a popular kid in school. Several of the forum members said that it couldn't be done, as I was in my mid 30's at the time. I ended up achieving 80% of what I set out to do. Hanging out with college aged people were some of the most happiest times in my life. There was an evening were a bunch of us were playing volleyball on campus, and we all had so much fun, and there was so much positive energy, that it was the most happiest time in my life. I hope that in the future I can somehow recreate this so it will not be just a memory.

Then 2019 rolled into 2020. I married a women that I wasn't attracted to, even though she was good on paper (my attempt to separate mind and body) which tested my sanity. I lost my 72K/year job, lost my acquaintance circle, aged rapidly due to the stress, and nearly lost my house. My health went into decline and lost 40 pounds, mostly lean mass.

I thought about my life's choices over the last decade and realized how important youth is. I realized how important youth is to myself, and in others. That's why I don't 'act my age' (what ever that means), and why I'm so much more attracted to women in their late teens and early 20's. What you are attracted in a woman says something about yourself; it says what you hold as important. Youth is important to me because human potential is like magic. I see how important my own potential is. Without that potential, a human being might as well be a zombie.

In 2015 I wrote a book about how Julian Jaynes' consciousness model can apply to epistemology and personal development. I believed that I solved a critical cognition problem. My fear is that I'll never be recognized for this. I've always wanted to influence people to think for themselves and become their own authority, and I do that by explaining current events with this perspective. Practically no one follows me.

 

[SW15]

I'm 41 years old; I'm currently setting up a date with a 5.5/10 21 year old.

The typical 41 year old man is setting up a date with a 35-40 year old woman that he first encountered through random swiping on one of the Big 3 swipe apps.

It's an achievement to be setting a date with a 21 year old at 41, even if she is mediocre. If she were Sub-5 territory at 21 (overweight and likely bad facial aesthetics), then that's not good.

 

[Plinco]

The typical 41 year old man is setting up a date with a 35-40 year old woman that he first encountered through random swiping on one of the Big 3 swipe apps.

I met her as one of my warm approaches; she was a giving out samples at Publix. She's a little weird, but otherwise she's okay. Not the ideal girl, but I have no problem with her either. If it doesn't work out, I'm okay with that too.

It's an achievement to be setting a date with a 21 year old at 41, even if she is mediocre. If she were Sub-5 territory at 21 (overweight and likely bad facial aesthetics), then that's not good.

Why is that an achievement? My body works the same as it did when I was 20, I look mostly the same except I have a few wrinkles around my eyes, and I've gained more experience. If anything, I have more potential now than I did when I was 20, barring something like a car accident. Starting in my late 20's I've been battling insomnia, but lately I've been having gradual successes with that.

I think the whole age gap taboo is in people's heads more than anything. I can understand if the person has health problems, or in the case of women having a hard time conceiving a child, or individual preferences depending on who the person is. When @BPH talks about how he can seduce a woman, and then rejects him based on how old he is, is purely a case of stigma.

Personally, I see no reason why I cannot have some degree of success dating women in my target range.

It sounds like you’re into attracting women who are lame af.

After reading my response, I'd like to correct myself. What I should have said was such a girl would be lame to me. There's nothing wrong with attracting women who are into Italian dishes, so @justaroundthecorner , all power to you buddy and anyone else reading this thread. There's nothing wrong with mature women if you like them.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

If you can setup a date with 5.5/10 looks, 21y old woman it means you can probably also setup up a date with 7/10 looks, 28 years old woman. It will also mean that you can for sure setup a date with 7/10 looks, 33 years old woman, except when it comes to dating 33 years old, you would be entering "damaged goods" territory and such chocolates from life's box of chocolates are often bad.

Your golden target are women in 25-31 years old bracket that are of low body count, average job, good or great character, 6.5/10 - 7.0/10 looks (which give them decent looks-upgrade potential), probably introverted.

Why your aim is off? Because 5.5/10 looks, 21 years old is probably top of your possibilities to date when it comes to 21y old women, and 5.5/10 when 21y old usually means 5/10 when 27y old or 4,5/10, when 31 years old.

It is better to aim for women that are more attractive and several years older because it helps you to pick up overall more attractive woman that is with still none (If very lucky) to low body count - my guess is that age 25-31 are transitional years for women (meaning these that were still none-to-low body count drop the Prince Charming idea they cared for in college at this stage and actively pursue guys on dating apps) while similtaneously guys that are settled in life get slight bonus for picking them up because they are at the start of their careers and they somewhat admire guys that have better situation/position than them in working ladder (which helps to build female-male attraction), while most of 21y old women DGAF about it cuz they are still having their fun/second childhood at college parties, while most of 32+ years old women DGAF about it cuz they already have at least average job and they are usually entering **** carousel at this point (because what's wrong about having fun after last LTR crash? What's wrong with getting delusional and going only for hot guys now to show off everybody that I am worth much more than what my former bf could provide?).

I have no idea why you have married unattractive woman before (sounds stupid) but your current approach i.e. mixing attraction for 18-21y olds, that are mentally immature with your own immaturity or perhaps mental issue - because dreaming about going back to college times is a sign of middle life crisis at best - will lead you to more issues.

Because even if you will lay with couple of 5/10 looks, 21y olds, will it satisfy you? IMHO you need to be really attracted to woman If it comes to looks to create successful LTR (meaning these are no LTR material for you) while you are wasting opportunity to aim at 26-31 years old bracket that is actually a golden bracket for guys looking for good LTR material If being single after college - especially that you are already 41 yourself.

Sweet spot is 5-10 years old difference. If more - she may think about cheating on you/leaving you eventually with younger guy (so you will be flying at least in "orange danger zone" by doing what you should be doing and dating slightly older women while 21 years old are red zone for sure).

If less age difference, you will think about cheating. Also 20y old difference will make any LTR you will build with woman so young frail due to her changes in life/her becoming mature eventually.

So basically speaking, like I have mentioned, your strategy is sub-optimal but at least I know why you got delusional. Guys after divorces often loose themselves to such ideas like yourself.

 

[SW15]

If you can setup a date with 5.5/10 looks, 21y old woman it means you can probably also setup up a date with 7/10 looks, 28 years old woman. It will also mean that you can for sure setup a date with 7/10 looks, 33 years old woman,

Both the 28 and 33 year old options would be better at 7/10 when considering looks alone. Looks alone is all that can be considered here.

Your golden target are women in 25-31 years old bracket that are of low body count, average job, good or great character, 6.5/10 - 7.0/10 looks (which give them decent looks-upgrade potential), probably introverted.

That would be appealing to many early 40s men.

Sweet spot is 5-10 years old difference. If more - she may think about cheating on you/leaving you eventually with younger guy (so you will be flying at least in "orange danger zone" by doing what you should be doing and dating slightly older women while 21 years old are red zone for sure).

If less age difference, you will think about cheating. Also 20y old difference will make any LTR you will build with woman so young frail due to her changes in life/her becoming mature eventually.

It's even an achievement to get someone 5-9 years younger for a man. The median age gap for heterosexual married couples is only 2.2 years in the USA according to 2022 Pew Research Center data (see first link below). In 2014, USA government data from the Census Bureau compared with Bureau of Labor Statistics data showed that all heterosexual couples had a median age gap of 2.3 years.

A growing share of U.S. husbands and wives are roughly the same age

%post_excerpt%

www.pewresearch.org

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/whats-the-average-age-difference-in-a-couple/

If the median couple in the USA has an age gap of 2 - 2.5 years, getting to 5-9 years is an achievement. 10+ years is even more of an achievement.

Something I've observed more recently are couples with age gaps where the woman is slightly older. I'm talking between a few days to 2.5 years older. This usually happens when a 20-25 year old man starts a relationship and stays in that relationship for multiple years. This takes on the form of a man starting an interaction with a woman in the next grade level up in college or a new 22-23 year old college graduate going to a new city and starting an interaction with a woman 1-2 years older than he is.

In the short term, those relationships don't look or feel bad but in the longer term, those relationships start to look bad. A 35 year old man is now married to a 36-37 year old woman and has 1-2 kids with her. If he had waited longer in to get into an extended relationship turning to marriage, he might have been able to be a 35 year old with a 31-32 year old wife.

Men start to get a broader pool of younger woman options starting around 26-30.

I met her as one of my warm approaches; she was a giving out samples at Publix. She's a little weird, but otherwise she's okay. Not the ideal girl, but I have no problem with her either. If it doesn't work out, I'm okay with that too.

That's a bit of shaky ground. I'm amazed that you were actually able to get this far with that option. Most people report worse outcomes in hitting on service sector workers while they are still on the clock.

Also, I do not consider approaching someone giving out samples at a grocery store as a warm approach.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

www.sosuave.net

Why is that an achievement? My body works the same as it did when I was 20, I look mostly the same except I have a few wrinkles around my eyes, and I've gained more experience. If anything, I have more potential now than I did when I was 20, barring something like a car accident. Starting in my late 20's I've been battling insomnia, but lately I've been having gradual successes with that.

I think the whole age gap taboo is in people's heads more than anything.

In the long term, a big age gap relationship is difficult because the people are going through different phases of life at different times. You're in middle age right now and dealing with middle age life problems soon if not already. She's just starting adulthood. There's some conflict there. When you're 65, she's going to be 45. She'll be dealing with mid-life stuff as you are retiring.

In the shorter term, there are fewer common life experiences and common cultural touchstones. Some of this stuff is overrated. For instance, you were first eligible to go to bars in your early 20s when she was pooping in diapers. She would not be able to relate to the experience of going to bars in 2005-2006 and what the bar environment was like at that point.

 

[Plinco]

That's a bit of shaky ground. I'm amazed that you were actually able to get this far with that option. Most people report worse outcomes in hitting on service sector workers while they are still on the clock.

I agree. Most of you shouldn't do that but we had a good conversation and I gave her my number and she texted me

In the long term, a big age gap relationship is difficult because the people are going through different phases of life at different times. You're in middle age right now and dealing with middle age life problems soon if not already. She's just starting adulthood. There's some conflict there. When you're 65, she's going to be 45. She'll be dealing with mid-life stuff as you are retiring.

In the shorter term, there are fewer common life experiences and common cultural touchstones. Some of this stuff is overrated. For instance, you were first eligible to go to bars in your early 20s when she was pooping in diapers. She would not be able to relate to the experience of going to bars in 2005-2006 and what the bar environment was like at that point.

I have always been a terrible conformer and I don't internalize the authority from other people. I don't 'connect' with people in the same way that I think other people do. I've had this issue my whole life, in fact when I was in elementary school the teachers put me in both a gifted class and a retard class, it was very unusual. Yes I'm an oddball, but I'm in one piece so I don't see why I can't push myself as hard or as far as I want to. Conformity is something that I wouldn't understand in a way that I would internalize. Do you guys understand where I am coming from?

 

[Plinco]

Let's do this instead @SW15 and @justaroundthecorner

Both of you have been telling me to lower my standards. The girls I hit on are younger than me. I want to hear how it be done, not how it can't be done. I've tried reasoning with both of you and neither of you are giving me a direct response. The next time I have to read that whatever I'm setting out to do is impossible I'm blocking you. That will hopefully encourage people on here how to handle a bad attitude

 

[justaroundthecorner]

I think I have provided you with a lot of valuable advice - I see it was waste of my time.

 

[Plinco]

I think I have provided you with a lot of valuable advice - I see it was waste of my time.

I'd like to believe that was your intention but trying to sell me on getting with sub par women is bad advice, full stop

 

[Plinco]

Okay so let's point ourselves back in the direction of success. I've made two cold approaches so far today. One in the mall and another in a bookstore. The girl in the mall blew me off, the girl in the bookstore was polite but not interested. I've been paying close attention to how my target women look at me, and it's convinced me even more that I need to improve on coming across better than I currently do

Edit

I did one more cold approach in the grocery store. This girl was a 9/10, but the challenging part is that she was with two older ladies, I assume one of which was her mother. She had her face planted in her phone while walking around. The two older ladies walked away from their cart to get chicken and the girl I was approaching was standing with the cart at the other end of the meat section. I walked up to her and smiled and asked her if she was going to run into something while she looked at her phone. She smiled and apologized and said that she was texting her friend. We chatted for about a minute and a half. She's from Syria, she currently lives in Canada and is on vacation here in Florida. She just graduated from high school. Given she lives more than 1000 miles away from me and is from a culture that would consider me to be an infidel, I knew I couldn't pursue her any further. She was nice and nice looking. Her mom came back and just smiled at me hahaha.

 

[SW15]

I've made two cold approaches so far today.

That's good. It can be tough to remain motivated to approach as one reaches 35+. Non-bar approaching can be a disappointment at times because most women approached in non-bar setting aren't seeking new penis at any given moment.

You've done a good thing by making the approaches.

One in the mall and another in a bookstore. The girl in the mall blew me off, the girl in the bookstore was polite but not interested.

There are some upsides to mall and bookstore approaching. It doesn't create a lot of potentially messy situations like approaching at one's primary gym. That's an asset.

At the mall, do you tend to approach inside of stores or in the hallways between stores? I think mall approaching is better if approaching in a store.

Bookstores are good for those who are readers. In my area, Barnes & Noble locations have the best overall setup for approaching. I don't see a lot of viable approaches targets in any bookstore though.

 

[Plinco]

That's good. It can be tough to remain motivated to approach as one reaches 35+. Non-bar approaching can be a disappointment at times because most women approached in non-bar setting aren't seeking new penis at any given moment.

You've done a good thing by making the approaches.



There are some upsides to mall and bookstore approaching. It doesn't create a lot of potentially messy situations like approaching at one's primary gym. That's an asset.

At the mall, do you tend to approach inside of stores or in the hallways between stores? I think mall approaching is better if approaching in a store.

Bookstores are good for those who are readers. In my area, Barnes & Noble locations have the best overall setup for approaching. I don't see a lot of viable approaches targets in any bookstore though.

Thank you, I appreciate some of your input. I think you spit out factual information, which is good but the way it is being presented leads one toward mediocrity. My vision for this forum is to encourage men to become superior performers, to make a break with the average.

Unfortunately @justaroundthecorner who accused me of having a midlife crisis or some other mental disorder (oddly), himself wanted to bring his problems to this thread. So far I've encouraged two individuals that I know of to get off their butts and up their game, I hope to encourage more by setting an example.

 

[Plinco]

Stats for the month of July:

4 cold approaches
3 warm approaches (one girl texted me, but I don't think the interest is there)
Two matches on Tinder, not worth writing about.

Weigh 160. I did not calculate body fat percentage.
1 social event

17 videos posted to social media

3 martial arts classes attended to
9 times that I practiced martial arts at home

4 leg workouts
5 upper body workouts

$7115.71 income for the month

 

[Plinco]

Stats for the month of July:

4 cold approaches
3 warm approaches (one girl texted me, but I don't think the interest is there)
Two matches on Tinder, not worth writing about.

Weigh 160. I did not calculate body fat percentage.
1 social event

17 videos posted to social media

3 martial arts classes attended to
9 times that I practiced martial arts at home

4 leg workouts
5 upper body workouts

$7115.71 income for the month

I have to get these numbers higher. To get more cold approaches, I should probably go out more, and I should probably spend a weekend in Orlando.

 

[Plinco]

Today I did two warm approaches and two cold approaches. One warm approach at the mall, another at a grocery store. Both warm approaches lasted two sentences and both girls signaled quickly that they were not interested. The first cold approach was also at the same grocery store, she signaled quickly that she was not interested.

I did one more cold approach, this time in a club/bar that was pretty crowded. This girl was probably late 20's but was the stereotypical nearly 10/10; she was the hottest girl in the room. I decided as soon as I saw her that I was going to approach her just to feel the weight of my balz. When I did approach her, her and her friends just sized me up and looked slightly surprised. In all honesty I just didn't feel right. One of her friends made a comment on my hair (which is long and puffy) and I looked at her and told her that one day I was brainstorming and my hair has been like that ever since. They all giggled, a guy standing next to us got a good laugh. I decided to leave right after that since it's getting past my bedtime.

 

[Plinco]

I went out tonight. Made short term acquaintances with a group that I introduced myself to and paid for a game of pool. I cold approached two women and warm approached another.

I'm getting more and more comfortable with this. Maybe next time I'll learn how to dance.

 

[Plinco]

I'm 41 years old; I'm currently setting up a date with a 5.5/10 21 year old. Yeah she's nerdy but she's cute and interesting.

So a month later and we finally got around to going out on that date. First we went to a coffee shop, and then after that we went bowling, which I won all four games, and then after that we played a couple of games of air hockey, which she kicked my butt. We both had a blast.

I feel so much happier that I was able to have this kind of experience again.

 

[Clockwerk50]

So a month later and we finally got around to going out on that date. First we went to a coffee shop, and then after that we went bowling, which I won all four games, and then after that we played a couple of games of air hockey, which she kicked my butt. We both had a blast.

I feel so much happier that I was able to have this kind of experience again.

I am glad you had fun.

Just out of curiosity, why did you rate her a 5.5/10?

I know you’re generally attracted to younger women, but based on your scale, wouldn’t someone with a higher rating still be appealing even if she was older? Or is age a factor in your rating system, and this 5.5/10 is actually what you’d consider a gargoyle?

 

[Plinco]

Just out of curiosity, why did you rate her a 5.5/10?

As in above average for women who are at least remotely on my radar; slim body, pretty face, but not highly sexy. She had the 'cute' look.

Similar to this girl, which I would rate as 6/10

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

based on your scale, wouldn’t someone with a higher rating still be appealing even if she was older? Or is age a factor in your rating system

I don't factor age on purpose, it's that girls are incidentally more attractive when they are young adults.

 

[Clockwerk50]

As in above average for women who are at least remotely on my radar; slim body, pretty face, but not highly sexy. She had the 'cute' look.

Similar to this girl, which I would rate as 6/10

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

I don't factor age on purpose, it's that girls are incidentally more attractive when they are young adults.

Damn, that’s right on the money. I’d rate her a 5-6/10 as well lol