Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I can't go to the gym because I wake up at 5 and come back at 7 in the evening and I'm too tired, if you read my last post from some time ago I'll explain what I'm going through in this period, unfortunately it's like this, I can't cheer myself up, i am too thoughtful, sad, i will try to start meditation again
Sounds like you are suffering from burnout from repeated stressors and not enough down time to be able to unwind and relax. I'm guessing you don't sleep enough either.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yes, perhaps work is wearing me down, I work in the principality of Monaco and it allows me to earn double what you would earn in my city, but it is 30 km from my home, plus it is physically tiring work, perhaps this is it
I know but I get a great salary, and I really need to make a lot of money right now
I know it's different in Europe but it's nothing to drive 60-80 km in the US between work and home. I'd say 30km is probably better than 65 percent of ppl do here
Yes, but in fact I'm not complaining, but obviously these are tiring days, and my discomfort could come from tiredness
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.