"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Has anyone here ever gotten back with an ex who cheated on them
- Thread starter BJP1991
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
If it was a committed relationship and she made the choice to cheat, NEVER get back as it will happen again--guaranteed. Plus, you'll always wonder who she's with, etc. It's also a huge hit to your self esteem; that your gf or wife willingly chose to f*ck another man over you.
If you do get back, mind as well get a tattoo also - "Doormat" for your forehead.
Good luck my friend.
manfrombelow
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Like @HankMoody said, we are always subconsciously "training" people how to treat us.
If you take back somebody that did the aforementioned things to you, you're only "training" them (subconsciously) that their actions are in fact welcome, which is why they will DEFINITELY do it again, sooner or later.
But, if you kick them out of your life for good, that'll "train" them to know that their actions were unforgivable and that they were punished by crossing the fvcking line. And it's only good for themselves in terms of personal growth.
Modern Man Advice
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The interesting thing about trust and respect is that it takes a lot of time to build both but takes a second to be destroyed. And once destroyed, it is unrepairable.
The only respect you have left with is self-respect but you need to exercise it by removing yourself from that person. Forever.
Modern Man Advice
No second chances. If they blew their one and only chance, then they are history.
Giving a cheater a second chance is not only rewarding bad behaviour, it is loading the gun for a killer to shoot you, after they already tried to shoot you and missed.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Good post, my friend. Thanks for sharing. If it's any consequence, Marshawn Lynch loves Skittles too.
2Rocky
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In ending my marriage, I walked away before she could. But I knew she would have. I think her resentment is/was that I beat her to the punch.
manfrombelow
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If you don't mind, could you please elaborate the reason you walked away from you marriage? She cheated? Punched you in the face? Sh!t on your food?
andreihaha
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You want to be happy? You will be. With someone else.
2Rocky
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I have my reasons and I 'm not going to share them here
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
bat soup
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There was an ex that I banged a few more times after I kicked her out. I never let her come back to live with me though because I no longer trusted her.