Rickboy is back update: kids, ex

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm thinking that even if by letting kids meet would lead to something down the road which probably won't, the process would be too painful, to see her, watch how much she doesn't care for me, possibly even see her with a new guy, hearing my son telling me stories about new guy. Best to cut this off, not let them meet. They can just be WhatsApp friends as they are now. I'll stay away with my son. She won't change her mind but if she does she knows where me and my son are.

I've been through a lot of pain with this girl, better not go an open again a door for more pain and disappointment.

Your situation with that last lady program yourself to put yourself last and to value people who do not value you. Everytime you think about her you further cement yourself in this position.

 

[Spaz]

You again, I could hv sworn we set you right back then.

How come u r still with this issue?

 

[RicBoy]

You again, I could hv sworn we set you right back then.

How come u r still with this issue?

What's up man? I'm not as crazy as I was. I actually just came here to see u guys lol. Because last time I was all over the place.

My boy is moving here in 2 weeks, flights tickets bought and all. Just still wondering if I should let the kids be friends. My son and my ex's daughter that is.

But going back to my old threads and this one too, I think I'm gonna tell her no when she reaches out. Truth is seeing her, dealing with her, maybe see her with a guy will set me back and probably will put me in a beta position where I'll probably end up saying or doing something stupid.

No more playdates.. All or nothing for me

 

[RicBoy]

Your situation with that last lady program yourself to put yourself last and to value people who do not value you. Everytime you think about her you further cement yourself in this position.

I like the way you see things man. Yeah I'm staying away, no more playdates. Would not be healthy to blend families with a girl that clearly detests me and doesn't value me.
If down the road she keeps pushing and pushing for kids to meet I might let her daughter come to my place to see my kid, but my kid ain't going more to her house to hang around her and play family with whoever guys she is sleeping with

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I like the way you see things man. Yeah I'm staying away, no more playdates. Would not be healthy to blend families with a girl that clearly detests me and doesn't value me.
If down the road she keeps pushing and pushing for kids to meet I might let her daughter come to my place to see my kid, but my kid ain't going more to her house to hang around her and play family with whoever guys she is sleeping with

Google "neuroplasticity". Basically our actions and thoughts literally rewire our brain. So our actions and thoughts cannot center around a situation or a female whose treating us less than at a HIGH level of worth, it will make it so that's all we think we are worthy of.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Google "neuroplasticity". Basically our actions and thoughts literally rewire our brain. So our actions and thoughts cannot center around a situation or a female whose treating us less than at a HIGH level of worth, it will make it so that's all we think we are worthy of.

You need you a new woman who treats you no less than a king, and you need to treat yourself like a king first! And if you are dating, several women is fine, but the priority should be interactions with ladies who treat yourself at a high level of worth. Until then, you treat your own self as a level of high worth.

 

[RicBoy]

Yes definitely but dont do it through your kid. Meet new people and introduce your son to a new circle. Let them see each other at school.

By not letting kids meet and not allowing my son to go to my ex's house, I'm gonna be cutting the last cord to my ex and all hopes to have a little chance in the future to at least sleep with her.
Kids won't be in same school.

On the other hand, i have a feeling if I let them meet, I'm gonna expose myself to some major pain, probably see my ex with some guy, or hearing stories through my son.

I think all in all, I think it's best my son and I walk away completely, clean cut.

Kids can talk online but that's as far as it goes.

 

[Lookatu]

It seems like you're making some progress. Don't mess up that progress and go backwards.

As a father myself, I wouldn't use your kids as pawns or have your problems affect what they have. If they want to meet and play with each other, I'd personally let that happen but like you said, be very cordial and brief with your ex and maybe even drop him off on the streetside or driveway but no closer. My $.02

 

[RicBoy]

It seems like you're making some progress. Don't mess up that progress and go backwards.

As a father myself, I wouldn't use your kids as pawns or have your problems affect what they have. If they want to meet and play with each other, I'd personally let that happen but like you said, be very cordial and brief with your ex and maybe even drop him off on the streetside or driveway but no closer. My $.02

I don't have a problem with this. And drop him off on the Streetside seems fine for me. When she comes to pick him up, I can just tell my son to go outside alone, she'll probably be waiting in the car herself. I don't wanna see her or approach her after all thr chasing I did without a clear sign she wants to see me. I guess if she really wants to see me she will give me a sign or come to my doorstep.

The only issue with all this is it will give me hope and will make me stay stuck probably. Plus my son at her house, watching a new guy in the bed I used to sleep with her and me with popcorn first row watching all of this.

Of course I can use all of this in my favor too, kids meeting is a chance to somehow show her I ain't chasing, can be adult and show a different side of me.

I have 2 weeks to decide if kids meet or not.

 

[Lookatu]

Of course I can use all of this on my favor too, kids meeting is a chance to somehow show her I ain't chasing, can be adult and show a different side of me.

Think like this and stay strong. Your actions will speak to her.

 

[Igetit!]

It seems like you're making some progress.

We must be reading two different threads,then. Cause I see absolutely NO PROGRESS whatsoever.

The only difference I see between the OP now,and him in his previous threads is that he's just a few months older. That's it.....nothing more.

Don't mess up that progress and go backwards.

i don't think there's any danger of him moving backwards,since he never moved forward to begin with.

 

[Lookatu]

We must be reading two different threads,then. Cause I see absolutely NO PROGRESS whatsoever.

He managed to go no contact for a few months. That isn't progress?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

We must be reading two different threads,then. Cause I see absolutely NO PROGRESS whatsoever.

The only difference I see between the OP now,and him in his previous threads is that he's just a few months older. That's it.....nothing more.




i don't think there's any danger of him moving backwards,since he never moved forward to begin with.

He said he fvcked several new babes. But once he opened his mouth about ex your image is he's still stuck.

 

[RicBoy]

It's been a year since I broke up.. Took me almost 3 to 4 years to get over my other ex before. I'm not in pain anynore or anything, I have some bad days.
Some things you never get over, you just learn how to live without it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

7

It's been a year since I broke up.. Took me almost 3 to 4 years to get over my other ex before. I'm not in pain anynore or anything, I have some bad days.
Some things you never get over, you just learn how to live without it.

Live without what? Thats only one person out of billions. There are many females who will satisfy you more and be better for you.

 

[RicBoy]

7

Live without what? Thats only one person out of billions. There are many females who will satisfy you more and be better for you.

I know bro. My personality is horrible. I hate losing. I think I broken at least 5 PlayStation controllers..
She left me and to be honest all I can think about is revenge. Not harming, but psychologic revenge.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I know bro. My personality is horrible. I hate losing. I think I broken at least 5 PlayStation controllers..
She left me and to be honest all I can think about is revenge. Not harming, but psychologic revenge.

You didn't lose nothing. So when you finally fix a problem and you have less problems you "lost" something? You lost a problem.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I keep asking, but never get a response.

Is it healthy to encourage A “best friendship” between a boy and a girl who are right on the verge of the hormones kicking in?

At this age he should be friends with and hanging out with other boys.

Something very bad is knocking at your door.

 

[Spaz]

What's up man? I'm not as crazy as I was. I actually just came here to see u guys lol. Because last time I was all over the place.

My boy is moving here in 2 weeks, flights tickets bought and all. Just still wondering if I should let the kids be friends. My son and my ex's daughter that is.

But going back to my old threads and this one too, I think I'm gonna tell her no when she reaches out. Truth is seeing her, dealing with her, maybe see her with a guy will set me back and probably will put me in a beta position where I'll probably end up saying or doing something stupid.

No more playdates.. All or nothing for me

Ur Ex can stay in ur heart but not in ur life and that is OK, because sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Can you understand this?

 

[RicBoy]

Ur Ex can stay in ur heart but not in ur life and that is OK, because sometimes you must forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Can you understand this?

I don't have a problem in cutting kids off and move on. Regardess if they meet or not, I think the chances that she will have anything romantic with me are slim to none. But there are a few things to take on consideration :

1- if I don't let kids meet, I'll be disappointing my son, her daughter will be crying for weeks as she did before. "Hurting" her daughter and make her daughter against me will surely not win my ex's heart. She will hate me even more. Also she could see this as a bargaining chip, kind of "you either come back to me or the kids won't meet".
The upside of cutting kids off is I'd be showing strenght to fully walk away and that itself could possibly make her change her mind in the future.

2- If I let kids meet. Kids meeting up is of course in my best interest, it can be used for my ex down the road to come closer. However, It could lead to false hope, me seeing and hearing things that will set me back big time. Like if I have to see some guy she could possible be dating. Of course I could try my best to be invisible in the background, not pop up during kids pickups and exchanges. In the beginning she probably would have her guard up and see this as me being beta trying to use the kids as pawns to get to her. I guess I could just let her lead the way, let her initiate all the contact regarding planning kids meet ups.
The biggest down site of them meeting is I'm gonna be stuck for another few years. And if it comes to the point I see her face to face I could possible become weak and start talking about past, invitations for drinks and revert to being needy.

Conclusion: I'm not sure yet what to do. My very best friend who knows all the details told me I should ignore all her msgs when she reaches out to pick ups the kids. And only reply if she says something solid like: "I'm sorry", "I miss you", "let's talk...", "let's work things out..." etc.. He seems to be certain of this..