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Rickboy is back update: kids, ex

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RicBoy

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Hello guys, maybe some of you remember me from spring/summer. You can read my last 2 or 3 threads.

After I broke 4 months no contact and made a full out of myself, (send her like 20 msgs in 5 days and she replied one, saying she won't unblock me, don't wanna meet me, that our kids can meet but she won't be involved and to leave her alone) I have to say I feel much better now. I'm now again 3 months no contact.
I've had a few one night stands and had a fuk buddy for a while but she is married so eventually we stopped seeing.

A month ago I saw my ex on a dating site.
2 weeks ago, my son who still plays online games and speaks to my ex's daughter almost daily on the phone, told me that her daughter said her mom has a new bf and my son could see him around the house through my ex's daughter's phone. My ex spoke to my son during that call saying she missed me.

Looks like my ex and her daughter were trying to send me a "message" that she now has a bf. Must be recent because I saw her 1 months ago on darting app.
My son by instinct replied to my ex and her daughter during that video call that I no longer want my ex back. Funny he tried to protect me.

Anyways, my son is moving here in 2 weeks, his flight tickets are bought.

I know my ex will want to see him and have play dates with her daughter, nights over etc.

What you guys think I should do now. Let kids meet or just tell my ex I'm not interested in having any connections if we are not dating when she reaches out?

I'm nowhere nearly as desperate as I was but I still like her. I know letting kids meet could possible lead to something down the road but it can also be painful to see her, interact and in a moment of weakness I could be clingy and needy again.

If I decide kids can meet, my plan is to stop the car in front of her house and my son leaves, I'm not going to her doorsteep after so much rejection. And if she comes to my house to pick him up, I'm sure she will do the same, so I just send him out alone. I have no intention to go out and say hi and be cordial without a clear sign from she has some interest, which she clearly doesn't. She hasn't reached out since and will only for my son.
 

stringpuller

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What you guys think I should do now. Let kids meet or just tell my ex I'm not interested in having any connections if we are not dating when she reaches out?
You need to do your own thing. Your son will recover. Kids are resilient. She sees your keeping this kids interlocked as a beta way to keep track of her. Ghost her from your life completely. More gentle with your son.
You need a new life and purpose.
 

RicBoy

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Yeah man, I'm also thinking I'll probably just keep staying away and only let kids speak on the phone but not really meeting.
 

backseatjuan

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Let kids meet. Sorry boy. You gotta get over whateve baggage you have meet women better your financial situation. Life goes on. Your ex is dead for you move on. Make her invisible. Date women hotter than her. Get yourself in better shape find a woman fck and find another one repeat.
 

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RicBoy

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Let kids meet. Sorry boy. You gotta get over whateve baggage you have meet women better your financial situation. Life goes on. Your ex is dead for you move on. Make her invisible. Date women hotter than her. Get yourself in better shape find a woman fck and find another one repeat.
On my others posts, lots of people said not to let kids meet. I really not sure how to go about this. If I let kids meet, my family, friends and possibly my ex will think I'm using the kid as a pawn to get her back. If i don't let the kids meet she will think I'm punishing her using the kids because she doesn't want to come back.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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On my others posts, lots of people said not to let kids meet. I really not sure how to go about this. If I let kids meet, my family, friends and possibly my ex will think OK using the kid as a pawn to get her back. If i don't let the kids meet she will think I'm punishing her using the kids because she doesn't want to come back.
Why are you thinking about it? Live your life. Let her worry about that bull.
 

RicBoy

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Why are you thinking about it? Live your life. Let her worry about that bull.
Lol good stuff.. My dad gave me similar advice back in the day I was all over the place. He said women lead the home and the kids. He said to let her do as she pleases when it comes to the kids even tho he is my son not hers.
I can always let her lead the way, let the kids meet, and I'll be totally absent, basically not see her during kids exchange. My son is 10 he can walk alone to her door and go out of my home alone to her car. Basically, kids would meet and I'd be showing her I don't give a chit about her, which she totally deserves to be honest.

On the other hand of course it's gonna be a bit awkward, my kid sleeping over her house and see her with new guy (if she truly has one) and my kid see them in the same bed I used to sleep with her. Then my son, her daughter, my ex and the new guy playing family.. Going through all this when she is not even his mother. Not sure if I want this lol
 

RicBoy

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I'm definitely not think of her all day long anynore. Have my bad days here and there. I have accepted its over. Just not sure what to do about the kids. That's all.
 

bat soup

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Hello guys, maybe some of you remember me from spring/summer. You can read my last 2 or 3 threads.

After I broke 4 months no contact and made a full out of myself, (send her like 20 msgs in 5 days and she replied one, saying she won't unblock me, don't wanna meet me, that our kids can meet but she won't be involved and to leave her alone) I have to say I feel much better now. I'm now again 3 months no contact.
I've had a few one night stands and had a fuk buddy for a while but she is married so eventually we stopped seeing.

A month ago I saw my ex on a dating site.
2 weeks ago, my son who still plays online games and speaks to my ex's daughter almost daily on the phone, told me that her daughter said her mom has a new bf and my son could see him around the house through my ex's daughter's phone. My ex spoke to my son during that call saying she missed me.

Looks like my ex and her daughter were trying to send me a "message" that she now has a bf. Must be recent because I saw her 1 months ago on darting app.
My son by instinct replied to my ex and her daughter during that video call that I no longer want my ex back. Funny he tried to protect me.

Anyways, my son is moving here in 2 weeks, his flight tickets are bought.

I know my ex will want to see him and have play dates with her daughter, nights over etc.

What you guys think I should do now. Let kids meet or just tell my ex I'm not interested in having any connections if we are not dating when she reaches out?

I'm nowhere nearly as desperate as I was but I still like her. I know letting kids meet could possible lead to something down the road but it can also be painful to see her, interact and in a moment of weakness I could be clingy and needy again.

If I decide kids can meet, my plan is to stop the car in front of her house and my son leaves, I'm not going to her doorsteep after so much rejection. And if she comes to my house to pick him up, I'm sure she will do the same, so I just send him out alone. I have no intention to go out and say hi and be cordial without a clear sign from she has some interest, which she clearly doesn't. She hasn't reached out since and will only for my son.
What you have to do is stop caring, because she obviously doesn't care about you.
 

RicBoy

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What you have to do is stop caring, because she obviously doesn't care about you.
I don't care that much anymore. Just want to make it right for myself and my son. Whatevwr that means.. Either kids meeting or not
 

bat soup

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I don't care that much anymore. Just want to make it right for myself and my son. Whatevwr that means.. Either kids meeting or not
You have to let go of any notion you have that you might somehow get back with this woman. It's not going to happen - she's moved on and is dating other guys. I wouldn't prevent the kids from meeting as such, because that would be unfair to your son, but I certainly wouldn't want to be dealing with this woman or hearing stories about her and her new boyfriends.

Assuming you at least trust her enough to look after your son, you can use the opportunity to go out on dates with other women whilst your son is over at their house. Hopefully your son will make new friends and this situation will soon just fade away.
 

RicBoy

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You have to let go of any notion you have that you might somehow get back with this woman. It's not going to happen - she's moved on and is dating other guys. I wouldn't prevent the kids from meeting as such, because that would be unfair to your son, but I certainly wouldn't want to be dealing with this woman or hearing stories about her and her new boyfriends.

Assuming you at least trust her enough to look after your son, you can use the opportunity to go out on dates with other women whilst your son is over at their house. Hopefully your son will make new friends and this situation will soon just fade away.
I can always just reply "I'm not interested in having any connections if we are not dating"... When she reaches out to pick up my son and be done with all of it and keep my word and stand my ground.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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I can always just reply "I'm not interested in having any connections if we are not dating"... When she reaches out to pick up my son and be done with all of it and keep my word and stand my ground.
Tell us about your new babes.
 

RicBoy

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I'm thinking that even if by letting kids meet would lead to something down the road which probably won't, the process would be too painful, to see her, watch how much she doesn't care for me, possibly even see her with a new guy, hearing my son telling me stories about new guy. Best to cut this off, not let them meet. They can just be WhatsApp friends as they are now. I'll stay away with my son. She won't change her mind but if she does she knows where me and my son are.

I've been through a lot of pain with this girl, better not go an open again a door for more pain and disappointment.
 

Igetit!

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I wouldn't even do that. Show your son how a man moves on.

The irony is,it's THE SON who's actually showing the father how A MAN is supposed to move on.

This comment right here.......

My son by instinct replied to my ex and her daughter during that video call that I no longer want my ex back.


That's a crock of HORSESH1T. While it's good he's displaying qualities that the father obviously lacks,there's no way A CHILD should be that intuned and aware of all that went down between them,so much so,that he's become entangled in the drama and now is telling the WOMAN that his dad no longer wants her.

He SHOULDN'T BE entangled in this sh1t. Not to mention he has NO IDEA that his father actually STILL WANTS the girl,he's just pulled back,hoping at some point she gives the green light. If he really,truly moved on,it wouldn't matter if she gave the green light or not.


No child is mature enough to deal with this,or should even have to.
 
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