Firs date - should I next her for this?

[BackInTheGame78]

Not even offering to pay her part is tacky, inconsiderate and demonstrative of an entitled attitude. Yes, many women are like that these days. No, this kind of behavior should not be encouraged or condoned. Nor should we accept the cultural phenomenon of women using OLD for free food and drinks (you’d be surprised how many women do that).

I never understood the concept of “whoever invites, pays”. It’s usually promoted by the same people who say that the man always has to do the inviting. This may have been appropriate in the days when women did not work and did not have even their own money, but that’s not the case now.

Also, remember that the concept of dating and inviting women to restaurants and bars is only about a hundred years old. Prior to the 1920’s, there was no such thing. Hopefully, this stupid custom will go away soon.

Its pretty standard for non cheap asses. Its on him for going to a restaurant on a first date to begin with.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Its pretty standard for non cheap asses. Its on him for going to a restaurant on a first date to begin with.

Why is it “standard” though? Because men accept it?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why is it “standard” though? Because men accept it?

Because men are the ones usually inviting and as such they should expect to pay. If the woman offers to pay something then its up to the guy to decide if they want to accept it.

That's life. If you need a woman to pay for something get a better job

 

[Black Widow Void]

Not even offering to pay her part is tacky, inconsiderate and demonstrative of an entitled attitude.

Although I am one of the men that pays (I'm in my 50's).... I do find it to be poor etiquette when women (on the first date) display their opportunist side -- ordering top shelf drinks (and/or suggesting the most expensive appetizer) when the paying male orders well drinks.

And no, this isn't about being cheap. It's about observing the woman's first impression.

 

[Dash Riprock]

So I had a date with this really hot chick. The check comes and she didn’t offer to pay. I’ll admit she did say thank you. She ubered to the restaurant and I offered to take her home, which she took me up on. After I drop her off she texted me and said, “thanks again for the ride

”

Should I next her for not even offering to pay? She didn’t even do the fake grab at the check.

I can't even believe I just read this...SMH.

I mean if you're 12 ok, but you're 25 f*ucking years old. Man the F up, dude.

 

[Mbuckets82]

I look back on a date I went on, she was something like 20 min late, and I dropped 150 for bowling and food after. I should have left, that’s too late. I waited and asked, but no second date. In contrast I was on another date at ihop, we hung out a bunch til things didn’t add up for me. And I think I had a gift card to help.
it all depends on the girl and chemistry no matter who pays what or how much.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I look back on a date I went on, she was something like 20 min late, and I dropped 150 for bowling and food after. I should have left, that’s too late. I waited and asked, but no second date. In contrast I was on another date at ihop, we hung out a bunch til things didn’t add up for me. And I think I had a gift card to help.
it all depends on the girl and chemistry no matter who pays what or how much.

Why are you spending that type of money on a first date?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Seduction is based on WIRING, not the social constructs of the day.

Men are wired to be providers. Women are wired to submit to a man’s provision and authority. The “date” is a microcosm of this built-in dynamic. Both are assuming the role in this mini-representation of real-life.

I GUARANTEE that the men here who are concerned about splitting the bill have the most trouble with women and dating. You have no idea how your little sense of fairness is antithetical to what is necessary to find a great woman.

The question isn’t whether she offers to pay. The question is whether or not she expresses appreciation. Down the road it’s nice if she offers to pay, but not on the first date.

After my first date with my now fiancé, she texted me and asked if we could talk. I thought “Crap, I thought it had gone pretty well.”

Turns out she wasn’t sure if she had thanked me and she wanted to do so.

Nowadays she pays for some of the stuff we do even though I make more than she does.

It’s all about appreciation. If it turns out a woman has a blind expectation that the man pays for everything, then that’s problematic. But first date, the man should pick up the cost. This demonstrates a lot to her, and the aftermath (expression of appreciation) will demonstrate a lot to you.

Rest assured that asking her to pay half is an utter turnoff to women and is guaranteed to set off very negative alarm bells within her core. That’s how she’s wired.

Are there exceptions? Of course, especially when younger (still in school). Other than that, put on your big-boy pants and pay for the first date, then look for appreciation. This is setting the stage for a possibly good relationship.

 

[lizardking82]

This is exactly why a lot of guys fail, they turn everything into a **** test or a possible deception. Relax, bro.

If you had a good time, pay for the damn thing and then keep enjoying her. You're paying everyday for meaningless **** and you don;t fuss about those, but you suddenly want her to offer to pay?

You invited, it's un unwritten "rule" that the one who invites pays. If she invited you out, you'd have banged her already LOL

 

[cola]

I agree. I always pay for the meal! Even if it's $60. Sometimes you need to beta to get the girl!I was paying up to $60 on dinner dates for first dates from OLD!

Even if it’s $60? Is this an expensive dinner to you? Where do you take girls, Applebee’s?

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

They turn everything into a **** test or a possible deception.

98% of men on this forum.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Even if it’s $60? Is this an expensive dinner to you? Where do you take girls, Applebee’s?

Everybody has different means here, and Florida is Florida.

 

[GoodOne123]

It's a bit harsh of you to next her purely based on that. I prefer to have the girl offer to pay too though.

What's obvious is that she's a bit selfish. You just need to keep that in mind when deciding what type of relationship you want with this girl.

 

[Visionist]

I keep getting the "no, no, I'll get it" from women here and when I insist on paying (damn pride) myself, they ghost me!

So I could have saved money (it's never for dinners or anything, but it might be a few dozen Euros of drinks) and not come out any worse.

Pride is Satan.

 

[alexander89]

I can understand that, but in some European countries it’s quite different, the normal is to split the bill. as it’s cultural difference.

On my first date with a girl from France living in Germany.

I asked her how is it in France, she said the men always pay, but I don’t like that the man always pay.

So I said it’s on me this time. She said the next time on me

and she msgs me after to set a new date, and invited her over to cook something together at my place

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I keep getting the "no, no, I'll get it" from women here and when I insist on paying (damn pride) myself, they ghost me!

So I could have saved money (it's never for dinners or anything, but it might be a few dozen Euros of drinks) and not come out any worse.

Pride is Satan.

If a woman pays for the first round on a first date its usually because she isn't interested and doesn't want to feel like she owes you anything.