“I have a boyfriend” part 1 million and 1

[WitnessGR]

Hi Sosuave,

Mixed signals, trying to decipher.


I met a girl I used to know at her work, the likes of whom I haven’t seen in probably 10yrs.

We caught up over the course of a month or two just casually chatting or whatever. I asked her out and she said she has a boyfriend, it goes like so:

Me: I’ve been wonderin, are you single? I want to take you out sometime

Her: uhh.. I have a boyfriend

Her: (slight pause) but we can still go out sometime if you want

Me: Alright, lets do it (told her possible Days of availaiblity)

Passed her my phone and she put her number in
...

I personally think this is a go still, kind of caught me off guard because she never mentioned her bf in conversation and no mention on social.

curious to know other men’s perspective on this case. Going to go to my “follow up appointment” and take it from there

Thanks

WGR

 

[FJA]

Get a drink with her, no expectations, flirt with her, with a little bit of touching (and look her in the eyes sometimes, works perfect) and see how she reacts, if she stay´s cold, than she maybe only wants you to be her friend, without intimacy. If she also starts flirting, or becomes ¨lovely shy¨, she´s maybe not happy with her boyfriend or she is open for a second love. In both cases I would hold back a little, let her challenge you the most, you challenge less. Why: don´t harm her situation, since it can lead to many problems for you (and her.....).

 

[WitnessGR]

Get a drink with her, no expectations, flirt with her, with a little bit of touching (and look her in the eyes sometimes, works perfect) and see how she reacts, if she stay´s cold, than she maybe only wants you to be her friend, without intimacy. If she also starts flirting, or becomes ¨lovely shy¨, she´s maybe not happy with her boyfriend or she is open for a second love. In both cases I would hold back a little, let her challenge you the most, you challenge less. Why: don´t harm her situation, since it can lead to many problems for you (and her.....).

Yeah, I plan to do basically this, and my thoughts are in line with what you’re thinking. She was pretty warm and receptive the whole time so I imagine it will be more of the same. Never looking for a friends thing. If I get that vibe, then I unsubscribe.

 

[FJA]

Yeah, I plan to do basically this, and my thoughts are in line with what you’re thinking. She was pretty warm and receptive the whole time so I imagine it will be more of the same. Never looking for a friends thing. If I get that vibe, then I unsubscribe.

Than I unsubscribe , perfect! If a girls says we can be friends, just friends, you can say, with a girl I never ever can be friends only......(and don´t say more, she will react like ¨what do you mean?¨, just smile and say ¨no comment¨, again with a smile, she will know what you mean.....). She will or escalate, later in most cases (anti-slut-defence), or doesn´t contact you again anymore, both are perfectly fine, since you will get good fun, or you don´t waste your time/energy/money.

The answer to her question ¨what do you want (from me)?¨ is: nothing for now, let´s see how things go (or something like that)

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This means she is potentially looking to replace him

 

[FJA]

This means she is potentially looking to replace him

The red flag because of this: big chance that she will do it again, when you both are a couple, there are types of girls who are always looking for someone ¨better¨

 

[WitnessGR]

The red flag because of this: big chance that she will do it again, when you both are a couple, there are types of girls who are always looking for someone ¨better¨

Id say she is a HB 7.5.

Honestly there’s only so much trading up you can do if you’re not a Super top tier woman.

a previous gf I had for awhile said that she had a boyfriend. I told her that “everyone has a bf... I even have one!”

got a good laugh out of that one, but people change their minds all the time.

I see it as a type of buyers remorse, yeah, you bought it. Now take it back to the store and get the one you actually wanted.

 

[ubercat]

I personally like the old pua line on this. I like salad. And when they give you the WTF look. Oh sorry I thought we were talking about sh1t that doesn't matter.

And I would never ask if she is single I would just mention a fun thing and say hey we should do that. Let her decide if she is feeling single or not because everything is just a feeling.

 

[WitnessGR]

I personally like the old pua line on this. I like salad. And when they give you the WTF look. Oh sorry I thought we were talking about sh1t that doesn't matter.

And I would never ask if she is single I would just mention a fun thing and say hey we should do that. Let her decide if she is feeling single or not because everything is just a feeling.

I agree, with the asking if single part. I realized the error pretty much right after I said it. Im not sure If I would ever use that pua line personally, my normal response to the girlfriend thing is "I don't really know anything about that"

or if i've said something which I usually say to girls before hand is that I am not a good listener. so something like " well.... I already told you that I dont really listen lol"

that has worked out pretty well so far.

 

[cola]

Man, tell you the truth younger me would have been like “Yea! She got a boyfriend, screw they guy I’m gonna bang her anyway!”

but after a little life experience man dudes are crazy.. all he has to do is suspect she’s cheating follow her to the date and now you got a fight or worse on your hands.
So in 2020 I say leave chicks with boyfriends alone.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Man, tell you the truth younger me would have been like “Yea! She got a boyfriend, screw they guy I’m gonna bang her anyway!”

but after a little life experience man dudes are crazy.. all he has to do is suspect she’s cheating follow her to the date and now you got a fight or worse on your hands.
So in 2020 I say leave chicks with boyfriends alone.

Dang... But how am I supposed to be a stud stealing chicks from simps? I wanna be like Savage cola lol

 

[cola]

Dang... But how am I supposed to be a stud stealing chicks from simps? I wanna be like Savage cola lol

Man it’s so many chicks without a boyfriend it isn’t worth the potential trouble dealing with someone who has one.

I know a dude who is now in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He met a girl, they hit it off. Her boyfriend came home a couple hours sooner than he was suppose to, he tried to run out the house and got shot in the back severing his spinal cord and leaving him no feeling from the waste down.

it ain’t worth it.

 

[ubercat]

The problem is you never know if they do or r just making a ready excuse in case they want to ghost. And with branch grabbing and so many antisocial media orbiters these days who knows what a bf is.

 

[WitnessGR]

Man, tell you the truth younger me would have been like “Yea! She got a boyfriend, screw they guy I’m gonna bang her anyway!”

but after a little life experience man dudes are crazy.. all he has to do is suspect she’s cheating follow her to the date and now you got a fight or worse on your hands.
So in 2020 I say leave chicks with boyfriends alone.

I'mma just say that if I lived in Baltimore.... i'd probably leave it alone LOL. Il just say where I'm at, guys don't play like that.

The problem is you never know if they do or r just making a ready excuse in case they want to ghost. And with branch grabbing and so many antisocial media orbiters these days who knows what a bf is.

I don't think it would be an excuse for women, in my experience its more common that they wont mention anything until **** is about to pop off in the bed.... I was pretty surprised at this situation because I thought it would be a straight shot, in some ways I still do.

Defiantly still gonna go for this one. Single date and feel it out, no extra textin or anything like that. Let's see how strong their bond really is...

 

[FJA]

I'mma just say that if I lived in Baltimore.... i'd probably leave it alone LOL. Il just say where I'm at, guys don't play like that.




I don't think it would be an excuse for women, in my experience its more common that they wont mention anything until **** is about to pop off in the bed.... I was pretty surprised at this situation because I thought it would be a straight shot, in some ways I still do.

Defiantly still gonna go for this one. Single date and feel it out, no extra textin or anything like that. Let's see how strong their bond really is...

Enjoy , keep us updated about the results

 

[andreihaha]

I don't enjoy getting into these sh1tty complicated scenarios.
You're gonna end up way happier with a chick that WANTS and APPRECIATES you.

 

[WitnessGR]

I don't enjoy getting into these sh1tty complicated scenarios.
You're gonna end up way happier with a chick that WANTS and APPRECIATES you.

just because she has a bf doesn’t mean that’s she doesn’t want and appreciate you...

 

[andreihaha]

just because she has a bf doesn’t mean that’s she doesn’t want and appreciate you

You are lying to yourself and it's not in your benefit.
Ok. She's crazy about you. Does she ever say "I have a boyfriend"? No.
She has low interest, and you will waste some of your precious time on this planet wanting her. For what?
The best and I mean the BEST scenario, you'll have subpar sex with her once or twice and then get butthurt when she gets bored. Is that worth it? For me, it's not, I'm better than this.
How about you? Don't you deserve better?

 

[FJA]

just because she has a bf doesn’t mean that’s she doesn’t want and appreciate you...

I agree with you, just a drink together and see if things "proceed" later, only a drink is not a risk and it's not complicated.

 

[dude99]

Hi Sosuave,

Mixed signals, trying to decipher.


I met a girl I used to know at her work, the likes of whom I haven’t seen in probably 10yrs.

We caught up over the course of a month or two just casually chatting or whatever. I asked her out and she said she has a boyfriend, it goes like so:

Me: I’ve been wonderin, are you single? I want to take you out sometime

Her: uhh.. I have a boyfriend

Her: (slight pause) but we can still go out sometime if you want

Me: Alright, lets do it (told her possible Days of availaiblity)

Passed her my phone and she put her number in
...

I personally think this is a go still, kind of caught me off guard because she never mentioned her bf in conversation and no mention on social.

curious to know other men’s perspective on this case. Going to go to my “follow up appointment” and take it from there

Thanks

WGR

I have a boyfriend can mean one of 3 things.

1. I'm not available.

2. I'm lying. There is no boyfriend. I'm not interested.

Or 3. I have a boyfriend but I'm going to shovel you enough false hope leading you to believe you have a chance then i will have yet another orbiter and i win tons of attention watching my boyfriend get jealous and watching this guy lose his mind wondering if he will ever have me.

Interested girls want you to believe they are 100% single so you will pursue them.