That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is unrealistic unless you live in New York City. There is simply not enough volume in such a small radius.
I also live in Metro NYC. My limit is 1 hour drive or 2 hours via public transportation. I'm more lenient with public transportation because unlike driving it is productive time and there is no stress involved. I've never had an issue using the NJ Transit Commuter Rail or getting chicks from the boroughs all the way out to my crib in Jersey. This year alone I banged 18 new chicks. 10 were driving distance within an hour (all in North / Central New Jersey), the other 8 were in NYC. It works out fine.
I hate public transportation. The MTA always breaks down at the worst times. It was easier when I was living in Queens, but in Bridgeport, way too long some times, and way too expensive. I'd rather drive to Philly than go to Manhattan (or BKYLN - that's a nightmare nowadays).
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Right. OP’s initial question about travel distance and/or time factor depends on where we live. Both the population density and traffic flow rate/gridlock probabilities being the determining factors.
That's not fair! Why can't I live in an area like you with a lot of access?
“I would love to meet up for a date. Let me know when you are in town, I’ll take you out for the time of your life.”
You’d rather drive 2 hours to Philly through the awful CBE and GWB but not take the Metro North into Grand Central? Lol, alright.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
It should be more like "when are you off work? What day is good and I'll drive up there." So you drive 4 hours round trip.
Just giving an example, nothing literal. Bridgeport, CT to GSC is no picnic. So, I hate going to the city. Too many people, too expensive, and too much traffic/waste of time. You're 30, I'm 38, I ain't got time for that sh it.
The train comfortable as fvck. I use em for naps, pregaming, emails, eating, anything. Driving sucks. Then again I see Bridgeport is closer to 2 hour train ride. My town express trains are only an hour.
People really shouldn’t be driving in cities.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
