The super aloof approach comes off as low interest or fear or lack of initiative. None of those things are positive in the mind
If you look at what I suggested in my message it’s not a formal gee can I take you to dinner suggestion. It’s hey I’m gonna kick it over here. Join me.
Those are very different energies. Indecision and aloof behavior can easily come off as low interest, no initiative and wishy washy. Not attractive.
This girl in fact has ALREADY launched that complaint rather candidly. Because of that OP told her he likes her. Ok cool. He didn’t turn into a lap dog in that moment but he shouldn’t just go back to the ultra Joe Cool behavior either. It’s tiring, and while it may build attraction at first...it’s annoying over time.
Example. Last weekend I met a cool guy. Tall dark & handsome, nice muscular body, full hair, well dressed. He had stared at me all night, his friend was obviously talking with him about me, lots of non verbal cues. I even walked over nearby and bought myself a drink to increase proximity...and nearly sasheyed off before the friend grabbed me. Good conversation ensued until my friends (who were ready to bounce and I was driving), dragged me off. He fished around a bit awkwardly in his billfold and gave me a business card. My cell is on there...he said. My friends were jonesing to go & I didn’t have my phone & he wasn’t smooth enough in that moment to whip out his phone for my number.
So I sent him a text the next day to say nice to meet you. He pinged back immediately but let the conversation drop. He’s an IT guy, reserved, bit of an introvert, but quite attractive. Also kind of awkward. Sunday I ran into his buddy who said hey what’s up with dude, and I said I don’t know, not all that communicative...a little while later he pings me to come for a drink somewhere else. I say OK. I show up, buddy is there as well as a female pal, and while it was nice to hang out with them and they were cool, I didn’t have opportunity to get to know him very much. He walked me to my car, gave me a light kiss & we both left. Sporadic texts a bit this past week, but if he expects me to chase after him and do the leader’s job of initiating, then he’s either 1. Not that into me, 2. Seeing someone else already (refer also to 1.), or 3.) is socially awkward.
Had the guy stayed he liked me or been more assertive in the interactions, I’d still have high interest. As it stands now Im more “Meh”. He’s still attractive but I need more to work with.
Contrast that to a less physically attractive but extremely socially attuned man who pinged me earlier tonight, was engaging and asked me out for a night next week straightaway. Very interesting, intelligent and funny guy, brilliant intellect, less physically attractive than I generally entertain but elegant and classy and adroit. Complete self confidence, which has a certain swagger I appreciate.
Fortune favors the bold. Be bold. Be a man. Go after what you want and don’t apologize for that. Don’t be a puppy either. Find the middle path.