Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

What methods of contact can you get?

Spaz

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Spaz... I've taken your advice and I'm seeing some results. I've been actively out there socializing, making friends, and inviting people to hang out.
It never fails and it works in all situations both professionally and personally.

Being in college, I need to start going to frat parties and make more friends with them I guess. Do you have any tips?
You start off by being visible, not just by being there per se but by being noticed, for now use ur musical talents, that's one of ur strengths that's socially acceptable by everyone.

Take the initiative to offer to bring ur band along to perform at a frat party for free, approach a know party animal and just frame it to them on how cool he or she would look if they hv ur band there, let his or her vanity do all the leg work.

Now you have some leadership skills.

Isn't that cool?
 

Spaz

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I was kind of embarrassed cause someone texted me on a Friday night asking "what's the move?" And I honestly couldn't even answer.
This needs a separate post to address.

1). In the the social circle u r currently at, you now matter and have influence. This is what I meant by increasing ur sphere of influence.

2). In the early stages of cementing ur influence, you need to be always (reasonably) available, simply choose the path of less resistance = go to one of the joints that u r used to.

3). Increasing ur sphere of influence is basically selling a product and in this case it just happens that you are the product. Cement that into ur mind.

I'm just not sure if I wanna ask my friends "what's the move?" Seems kinda low value imo. Or am I just tripping?
Create a group chat or even better if u r in one, simply state that you'll be in DrinkAllThePvssyJuice at 9pm tonight - then add an incentive that's hard for some to refuse like "1st 2 jugs is on me" etc.
 

GrowingPains

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I'm just not sure if I wanna ask my friends "what's the move?" Seems kinda low value imo. Or am I just tripping?
You don't have to DHV your friends lmao. Hit em up, say what's the move, or suggest what you want to do. Surely you want to do something. Pizza, movie, walk, shop, games, workout, drive around.

If you have to DHV to your friends... They aren't your friends. Trust me, I have some great friends.
 

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I was awful in university

I had girls practically throwing themselves at me, I fvcked 0, I repeat, 0 women, I fvcked no women in uni.

It’s a mindset, I was depressed, self conscious, lacking confidence, unhappy, I was a shell of the man I am now. I’m still a shell of the man I’m destined to be.

Hence why I live such an opposite lifestyle now. I look back and kick myself. All that time and opportunity wasted. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, live and learn.
 

Spaz

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You don't have to DHV your friends lmao. Hit em up, say what's the move, or suggest what you want to do. Surely you want to do something. Pizza, movie, walk, shop, games, workout, drive around.

If you have to DHV to your friends... They aren't your friends. Trust me, I have some great friends.
DHV, meaning?

Just to be clear.

If a man just met a group of people, they're a large circle of acquaintances and not friends yet.

With close friends the rules are different since there's an emotional bond between them that's hard to be severed.
 

GrowingPains

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DHV, meaning?

Just to be clear.

If a man just met a group of people, they're a large circle of acquaintances and not friends yet.

With close friends the rules are different since there's an emotional bond between them that's hard to be severed.
Demonstrate higher value.

We could keep overanalyzing and talking social dynamics but that isn't what Nick needs, in my opinion. As someone who also over thinks things, I think it's best Nick avoids overthinking here.

Making friends is simple. I am not saying it is easy, but it is simple. You don't need to think about anything more than this:

Introduce yourself to the group. "Hey, what are your names?"

Make a strong effort to remember their names. Use their names in sentences as you speak with them. They will appreciate the effort.

Ask them questions about themselves. See if you can relate. This is normal human interaction. If there is nothing to relate about, so be it, you win some and you lose some. No one bats 1000.

Say what you want to say, as long as it is respectful. The quicker you can start to be your unfiltered self, the quicker you will find out if you can be part of the group or not.

Keep in mind that this evaluation is a two way street. You are seeing if you like them too. Why would you hang out with people you don't like?

All of this applies to women too.

It is simple. Maybe not easy. But to only way is to keep it in mind, rinse and repeat.

As for contact, the original topic.. Nick, you've talked about Snapchat vs pho e number many times. I think you should be able to make the conclusion about whether getting a snap/insta is worth your time.

I don't have snap, I don't enjoy receiving awkward repetitive selfies of a person with text. And my Instagram is not for socializing, it's for me to track my progress in the gym. So if a girl offers those things... I don't want it and she will have to either give me her phone number or not talk to me. The choice is hers. I do think that pushing them to give you their number is an indication of whether they're with it or not. As I mentioned in another conversation of ours... Either she's with it or she's not. And if she isn't, she probably never will be. Think about it, she's so against giving you her phone number... For what reason? She can block you, not respond, etc. It's all the same with an app. So what's her real purpose in giving you the Snapchat/insta? Imo, it's to get another follower. And I'm not following no chick.

I lead. She follows. Or next. #deezed

How to find women: 1. Do interesting things. Interesting people do interesting things. But don't do these things with the goal of meeting women. Be a man. You are a young man with many interests, explore them and you will meet like-minded people. Do not construct your life with the goal of meeting women - that's a waste. And beta.

Open your eyes. Women are everywhere. In your class. At the bus stop. In McDonalds. In the crowd when you play. Outside walking.

I repeat: it is simple.
 
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nicksaiz65

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I was awful in university

I had girls practically throwing themselves at me, I fvcked 0, I repeat, 0 women, I fvcked no women in uni.

It’s a mindset, I was depressed, self conscious, lacking confidence, unhappy, I was a shell of the man I am now. I’m still a shell of the man I’m destined to be.

Hence why I live such an opposite lifestyle now. I look back and kick myself. All that time and opportunity wasted. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, live and learn.
I'm glad you recovered from that man. I'm trying to make sure I succeed with my 2 years left in college
 

nicksaiz65

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Demonstrate higher value.

We could keep overanalyzing and talking social dynamics but that isn't what Nick needs, in my opinion. As someone who also over thinks things, I think it's best Nick avoids overthinking here.

Making friends is simple. I am not saying it is easy, but it is simple. You don't need to think about anything more than this:

Introduce yourself to the group. "Hey, what are your names?"

Make a strong effort to remember their names. Use their names in sentences as you speak with them. They will appreciate the effort.

Ask them questions about themselves. See if you can relate. This is normal human interaction. If there is nothing to relate about, so be it, you win some and you lose some. No one bats 1000.

Say what you want to say, as long as it is respectful. The quicker you can start to be your unfiltered self, the quicker you will find out if you can be part of the group or not.

Keep in mind that this evaluation is a two way street. You are seeing if you like them too. Why would you hang out with people you don't like?

All of this applies to women too.

It is simple. Maybe not easy. But to only way is to keep it in mind, rinse and repeat.

As for contact, the original topic.. Nick, you've talked about Snapchat vs pho e number many times. I think you should be able to make the conclusion about whether getting a snap/insta is worth your time.

I don't have snap, I don't enjoy receiving awkward repetitive selfies of a person with text. And my Instagram is not for socializing, it's for me to track my progress in the gym. So if a girl offers those things... I don't want it and she will have to either give me her phone number or not talk to me. The choice is hers. I do think that pushing them to give you their number is an indication of whether they're with it or not. As I mentioned in another conversation of ours... Either she's with it or she's not. And if she isn't, she probably never will be. Think about it, she's so against giving you her phone number... For what reason? She can block you, not respond, etc. It's all the same with an app. So what's her real purpose in giving you the Snapchat/insta? Imo, it's to get another follower. And I'm not following no chick.

I lead. She follows. Or next. #deezed

How to find women: 1. Do interesting things. Interesting people do interesting things. But don't do these things with the goal of meeting women. Be a man. You are a young man with many interests, explore them and you will meet like-minded people. Do not construct your life with the goal of meeting women - that's a waste. And beta.

Open your eyes. Women are everywhere. In your class. At the bus stop. In McDonalds. In the crowd when you play. Outside walking.

I repeat: it is simple.
From field experience, I think it's fine. I've fvcked women with only their Snapchat.

As for friends, i haven't been able to socialize as much cause finals. Passed with an 85. But I'll keep going out there now that they're done
 

nicksaiz65

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It never fails and it works in all situations both professionally and personally.



You start off by being visible, not just by being there per se but by being noticed, for now use ur musical talents, that's one of ur strengths that's socially acceptable by everyone.

Take the initiative to offer to bring ur band along to perform at a frat party for free, approach a know party animal and just frame it to them on how cool he or she would look if they hv ur band there, let his or her vanity do all the leg work.

Now you have some leadership skills.

Isn't that cool?
Very interesting idea... I'll try it out. We're actually playing at the schools tailgate. Making friends who go to the white frat parties would help too I'm sure
 

Murk

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I'm glad you recovered from that man. I'm trying to make sure I succeed with my 2 years left in college
It’s not the end of the world if you don’t, just make sure you pass your degree and make yourself and family proud.

It’s actually easier to get laid and more fun when you’re mid 20s to 30s and 40s

Don’t stress, I was still getting sex here and there outside of uni plus going of holidays fvcking random *****s.

I think I was always too self conscious I had a small d!ck, which is ironic because it’s pretty big, I was too in my head, which comes with high intelligence, it’s a gift and a curse and can be very self destructive.
 

Spaz

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Very interesting idea... I'll try it out. We're actually playing at the schools tailgate. Making friends who go to the white frat parties would help too I'm sure

But don't forget ur primary mission, which is why u r in school in the 1st place.

Balance it whilst enjoying life young man.
 

nicksaiz65

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It’s not the end of the world if you don’t, just make sure you pass your degree and make yourself and family proud.

It’s actually easier to get laid and more fun when you’re mid 20s to 30s and 40s

Don’t stress, I was still getting sex here and there outside of uni plus going of holidays fvcking random *****s.

I think I was always too self conscious I had a small d!ck, which is ironic because it’s pretty big, I was too in my head, which comes with high intelligence, it’s a gift and a curse and can be very self destructive.
Yeah man ideally I have the skills to revive myself within these two years. I will say though dating when I'm like 29 is gonna be really fun. Some of those women are bad asf, and I'll have way more money/muscle then.
 

nicksaiz65

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But don't forget ur primary mission, which is why u r in school in the 1st place.

Balance it whilst enjoying life young man.
Most definitely. Failing feels horrible so I was not gonna let that happen. My final grades just came in for the first summer term. I made an A and a B.

Hung out and drank with some friends after work yesterday, was a very impromptu thing. So there's that socialization part, I'm doing a bit better. Now I just need to hang with even more friends in this next month. I'll go out twice a week, not with the intent to meet women but just to socialize. I also need to stop being a fvcking pvssy and go to the club with new friends. I think going 3 times before this summer term is finished is a reasonable goal.

I'll be working another Bar Show today, so I'll celebrate my grades by doing 2 Cold Approaches.
 
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nicksaiz65

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By the way, @GrowingPains now that I'm actually kinda out here, I totally see what you're saying when you mentioned that making new friends is very similar to Game. Extremely similar concepts.
 

Murk

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Yeah man ideally I have the skills to revive myself within these two years. I will say though dating when I'm like 29 is gonna be really fun. Some of those women are bad asf, and I'll have way more money/muscle then.
I don’t have muscle I have money, security, a plan and confidence
 

nicksaiz65

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I would recommend always asking her relationship situation. In fact this is what I approach with, lol. I ask for her number after she tells me she has a bf. LOL.

Me: do you have a bf?
Her: yes.
Me: cool. We should hang out sometime.
Her: Lol....I guess we can hang out
Me: put your number in my phone.

This is something only real players do. It's like you are telegraphing to her that you are part of the "in" crowd. Believe it or not alot of women view their boyfriends as beta cucks that are part of the "out" crowd.

Also, if a woman is attracted to you, she is more likely to escalate things if you know she has a boyfriend and you are okay with it. Guys that are part of the "sex club" do no care about boyfriends.

Caring about boyfriends is actually a turn off and shows women you are not really the bad boy you are pretending to be. Women love power. And they are attracted to guys who have power over women.

I have field tested this hundreds of times and told my friends to use it and they all tell me it works like gold. The trick is to act like you are almost relieved that she has a boyfriend. Like you are impressed by it because it shows some guy out there can tolerate her. Women get ego validation from being in relationships so escalating on the fact that she has a boyfriend is like a force qualifyer.

In fact this is most of my game nowadays. I escalate when most guys don't or feel like they shouldn't. It's because I know that women know that guys who belong in the sex club have no limits they wouldn't reach. I openly go for the biggest risk. This is a turn on for women.

Also, good luck finding an 8 or 9 that is completely single. 99% of hot women you will run into are in a relationship or in the process of getting out of one, or looking to upgrade. The guy who gets to the front of the line is the guy who is glad she is already in a relationship, not the guy who is afraid of reality.

P.s. it also subcommunicates massive entitlement...but the good kind.
You know, I really like this. It's that c0cky arrogant swag that I'm still working on developing. I'll definitely keep this in my mind whenever I go out and do my next round of approaches. Which will hopefully be this Thursday.
 

nicksaiz65

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@samspade @zekko @Spaz @oldmanofthesea

Regarding this whole approaching in front of others thing... Could I enlist you alls help again? So I organized a get together with some friends to hit a bar and drink some beer. There were so many 9s and 10s in there it wasn't even funny. Unfortunately, they were all sitting at different tables with their own cliques. I ended up not being able to do a single Cold Approach cause of that, I didn't know if I just wanted to walk up to someone's table out in the patio area and start talking. I don't wanna constrain myself to only bar approaches, but I can't really think of a good way to handle this. Just turn my head and talk to people who are near me only? I was wondering if you guys had any ideas so I can really play the Numbers Game this last half of summer. I did one Warm Approach but I wanna have this Cold Approach thing down pat.

And on that note, I'm off to a job interview. Wish me luck.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I just cold approached two women on my own last weekend and a few weeks before that I cold approached a group of four on my own. Both were at patio bars. Both times, the girls were standing up.

In my experience, girls welcome a guy to join in their converstation but you have to be totally calm and confident. Have a question you want to ask the group, or a few people, say "excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt but I had to know..." and ask your question. If you get any attitude, just laugh it off, remain un-phased, and play along with it. My experience is that when I walk up to a group solo, the girls open their eyes wide in astonishment that a guy on his own who isn't drunk, slurring his words, putting on a front, or seeming at all nervous, would ever approach a group of girls. The key is to remain calm and confident and have the mindset that you're just there to have an interaction and aren't trying to impress them and aren't worried about their impression of you. For example, the last pair of girls I talked to, when I gave them my name, one of them said, "That's my cat's name." I laughed and said, "Who the hell names their cat that??" Girls are simply NOT expecting this from a guy on his own in front of multiple girls. They love it.

If they were seated, I'd do my approach standing and if the first few back and forths went well, I would motion for a girl on the end of the table to scoot over so I could sit down, as I moved to sit down. I'd that wasn't an option due to individual chairs or not enough room, I'd just stay standing. No big deal.

Bottom line: Just do it.
 

Spaz

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@samspade @zekko @Spaz @oldmanofthesea

Regarding this whole approaching in front of others thing... Could I enlist you alls help again? So I organized a get together with some friends to hit a bar and drink some beer. There were so many 9s and 10s in there it wasn't even funny. Unfortunately, they were all sitting at different tables with their own cliques. I ended up not being able to do a single Cold Approach cause of that, I didn't know if I just wanted to walk up to someone's table out in the patio area and start talking. I don't wanna constrain myself to only bar approaches, but I can't really think of a good way to handle this. Just turn my head and talk to people who are near me only? I was wondering if you guys had any ideas so I can really play the Numbers Game this last half of summer. I did one Warm Approach but I wanna have this Cold Approach thing down pat.

And on that note, I'm off to a job interview. Wish me luck.
I don't do numbers game. Never did it and never will.

I also don't have a specific step by step seduction game plan if that's what u r asking. Never did it and never will.

What I do know is that women or girls traditionally are always on a lookout for men, plenty of women has admitted this to me.

I'm not really sure how I generate interest from the opposite sex but I get approached directly or indirectly to get some kind interactions going, even when I'm alone in a pub drinking and working on my laptop answering emails.

When I pry further, all they can say is that I have a certain presence that lures them, they feel it on some biological level.

I think it's my natural body language and my voice, it's only a guess but one that makes most sense.

Body language is perhaps just a confluence on how a man thinks, his traits and inherent personality.

That's me being randomly approached.

However my primary source of women comes directly from social networks I cultivate, when you know a single chick who thinks you're great, she'll want to introduce you to her friends and they in turn will want to introduce you to their friends, it never truly ends, there's an endless supply of women within that circle all working for you.

And that's why I told you to get invited to parties by offering to bring ur band along, generate presence through ur musical talents and slowly work from there.

You'll be invited to more and more parties without much effort since people think you're cool or great.
 

GrowingPains

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I just cold approached two women on my own last weekend and a few weeks before that I cold approached a group of four on my own. Both were at patio bars. Both times, the girls were standing up.

In my experience, girls welcome a guy to join in their converstation but you have to be totally calm and confident. Have a question you want to ask the group, or a few people, say "excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt but I had to know..." and ask your question. If you get any attitude, just laugh it off, remain un-phased, and play along with it. My experience is that when I walk up to a group solo, the girls open their eyes wide in astonishment that a guy on his own who isn't drunk, slurring his words, putting on a front, or seeming at all nervous, would ever approach a group of girls. The key is to remain calm and confident and have the mindset that you're just there to have an interaction and aren't trying to impress them and aren't worried about their impression of you. For example, the last pair of girls I talked to, when I gave them my name, one of them said, "That's my cat's name." I laughed and said, "Who the hell names their cat that??" Girls are simply NOT expecting this from a guy on his own in front of multiple girls. They love it.

If they were seated, I'd do my approach standing and if the first few back and forths went well, I would motion for a girl on the end of the table to scoot over so I could sit down, as I moved to sit down. I'd that wasn't an option due to individual chairs or not enough room, I'd just stay standing. No big deal.

Bottom line: Just do it.
+1000.

When I was in Europe recently I approached girls in groups like this. Haven't encountered many situations at home where I need to do this.. mainly because clubbing is a new thing for me.

Just smile, introduce yourself, be cool and chat.
 
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