Hello Friend,

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And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

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What would you call this?

marmel75

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Well I’ve been seeing her for almost a month, we go out once or twice a week but I’m also seeing other people. I dunno if she is or not. We talk everyday, she initiates just as much as I do. I’ve brought up her coming over to spend the night or weekend sometime but she goes silent or it’s like it goes in one ear and out the other. However she’s made me meet her mom. This girl is 33 and just got out of some year long relationship a couple months ago and she did make the comment “I’m glad we are taking it slow, this is nice for a change”. Slow is ok, but damn a month and no sex and you still aren’t initiating flirting? It feels like one of those almost-relationships.lol when we go out I’ll pay and she will pay the next time, I haven’t bought her a thing or been some nice guy, I know that. It feels like I’m a friend but then there’s times she acts like I’m more. It’s just a new situation I’ve never been in before so I didn’t know.
Basically she hasnt found someone she is really interested in or maybe doesn't know exactly what she is interested in but she knows that whatever that might be, it isnt you.

This is a waste of time...why are talking to her everyday this early on?

You need to show her by your ACTIONS and LACK OF AVAILABILITY that you aren't pleased by this...she will get the message, then she will deteemine what to do from there
 

Chi Town

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She's not into you, her not fvcking you tells you all you need to no.

Anytime a girl shows mixed signals or hot/cold it's because she's toying with you/not interested.

My older brother always told me
"If she's not fvcking you, she's fvcking someone else"

In you're case, the guy who she's actually fvcking doesn't act in the way that you do, you are giving her waaay too much attention and you're not getting anything out of it but a kiss and a ass grab lol......

There's no resolving this situation as you are too far gone at this point, cut ya losses and learn from this or this will happen with every girl you date
 

Robert28

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Robert.....let me ask you a question. A real,simple easy question.......

What DO YOU WANT with this girl?
I wanted a relationship but I mistakingly bought into the thinking that she’d just gotten out of a supposedly bad relationship and wanted to take things slow. I should have put my wants above hers and that was a fatal mistake on my part and here I am.
 

Glassguy

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Don’t worry I’m going to deploy those exact words, I just think it’ll be more effective springing them on her when she reaches out to me rather than me springing them out of the blue right now. I’ve copied and saved those words to use though.
If she texts you today, do not respond. She will text you again, you will not respond. If she texts you this evening, you will not respond. Tomorrow you will not respond. On Friday if/when she texts you, thats when you send it to her.

I will assume low interest/friend zone here too. She may just respond to that with "ok" and that will be it. So be it.

Millions of other women out there. Go find 3 or 4 worth being in a rotation.
 

sazc

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9 dates, and you are confused at her level of interest, and feel as if you put all the effort in sexually. Time to say goodbye
 

Igetit!

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I wanted a relationship but I mistakingly bought into the thinking that she’d just gotten out of a supposedly bad relationship and wanted to take things slow.
So you "wanted" (past tense) a relationship with her. I noticed in reply #5 you said you've been seeing each other for a month.......but you also said you two haven't had sex yet....even though you've tried.

So you're ready to enter into a relationship.......with a chick you've known 4 weeks......and have yet to have seen naked.....

May I ask why?


I should have put my wants above hers and that was a fatal mistake on my part and here I am.
Heh....you got that part right. It's like having a destination in mind,but you start your journey out headed in the wrong direction. That's kinda what you did here. You realized you were going the wrong way,(hence this thread)....so now you wanna turn around and get things back on track. That's both good and bad news.....

The good news is when you realized something was off,you stopped and decided to turn around.
The bad news is...well......if you go 50 miles in the wrong direction then decide to turn around,well you're headed the right way now....but you're STILL at -50. Those miles have to be made up. They don't just disappear and you reset to zero just cause you realize you made a mistake.


Basically,you're in the negative with this girl. You'd have to work your azz off just to make it back TO ZERO.....back to the beginning.


The reason I asked you what you wanted with this girl is,because honestly......I CAN'T TELL. You said you wanted a relationship with her,then you said you couldn't decide if you wanted to break things off either in person or by email,then in reply #44 you said something about "well damn....I've come this far,might as well keep trying".....so I can't tell what the deal is. What I do know is this.....

If you can come to a decision,a CLEAR CUT DECISION......be it "I just want to move on" OR "I want to sleep with her and see if that would possibly lead to anything more",it'd be a lot easier to help advise you.


It's kinda hard to help someone get where they're going when they're not clear about where they want to go.
 

SoSuave666

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Well I neber did answer her texts right away, she also knows I’m busy but I mean I think I got too comfortable with this girl and let my guard down. I could text her today and say let’s go out tomorrow night and she say ok. She’s never cancelled on me or rescheduled or anything of the sort.
what does she say when you ask her to come over for drinks and dinner?

Also anyone wondering about women and their orbiters from that other thread should pay close attention to this thread.
 

Robert28

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W

what does she say when you ask her to come over for drinks and dinner?

Also anyone wondering about women and their orbiters from that other thread should pay close attention to this thread.
She says that she’d love to have me cook for her sometime but I can’t ever get her to commit to it. She will counter with something like “sounds great, we should do that sometime, let’s go out for wings this Friday though.”
 

RickTheToad

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W

what does she say when you ask her to come over for drinks and dinner?

Also anyone wondering about women and their orbiters from that other thread should pay close attention to this thread.
Yes. He's become her gay boyfriend. It's going to get hard to break this. The only way would be a hard and fast break, but not sure if it is worth it. There's a reason why Rollo and AMS say DTB if there is no sex (or HJ, BJ, nudity) by the third or forth date. These are rules you need to live by these days.
 

Robert28

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So you "wanted" (past tense) a relationship with her. I noticed in reply #5 you said you've been seeing each other for a month.......but you also said you two haven't had sex yet....even though you've tried.

So you're ready to enter into a relationship.......with a chick you've known 4 weeks......and have yet to have seen naked.....

May I ask why?




Heh....you got that part right. It's like having a destination in mind,but you start your journey out headed in the wrong direction. That's kinda what you did here. You realized you were going the wrong way,(hence this thread)....so now you wanna turn around and get things back on track. That's both good and bad news.....

The good news is when you realized something was off,you stopped and decided to turn around.
The bad news is...well......if you go 50 miles in the wrong direction then decide to turn around,well you're headed the right way now....but you're STILL at -50. Those miles have to be made up. They don't just disappear and you reset to zero just cause you realize you made a mistake.


Basically,you're in the negative with this girl. You'd have to work your azz off just to make it back TO ZERO.....back to the beginning.


The reason I asked you what you wanted with this girl is,because honestly......I CAN'T TELL. You said you wanted a relationship with her,then you said you couldn't decide if you wanted to break things off either in person or by email,then in reply #44 you said something about "well damn....I've come this far,might as well keep trying".....so I can't tell what the deal is. What I do know is this.....

If you can come to a decision,a CLEAR CUT DECISION......be it "I just want to move on" OR "I want to sleep with her and see if that would possibly lead to anything more",it'd be a lot easier to help advise you.


It's kinda hard to help someone get where they're going when they're not clear about where they want to go.
Well I say wanted a relationship because we never argue, seem to have a ton in common, neber any awkwardness or whatever but the sex thing is the sticking point. If I had to make a list of **** I don’t like about her that would be the only thing on the list but it’s the most important. I don’t want to put in the effort to make it back that 50 miles, not that I’m too lazy but no girl is worth that in my opinion. I don’t want a friendship with her whatsoever and when I do break things off I’m not going to offer that because I don’t want to be friends with a girl I want to sleep with.
 

Robert28

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Yes. He's become her gay boyfriend. It's going to get hard to break this. The only way would be a hard and fast break, but not sure if it is worth it. There's a reason why Rollo and AMS say DTB if there is no sex (or HJ, BJ, nudity) by the third or forth date. These are rules you need to live by these days.
And the weird thing is I apply those rules to every other girl, I don’t know why I was making excuses for this one to be honest.
 

Robert28

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Then you know what you need to do. Hard break and NC if she won't come over and be intimate. No more $$ or time on her.
Hell I haven’t spent all that much to be honest. When we have gone out to dinner it’s been to reasonable priced places like bars with food and Mexican once. Oh and all you can eat crab legs but she paid for that. My emotional investment is way more than my $$$ and that **** got out of balance somehow.
 

RickTheToad

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Hell I haven’t spent all that much to be honest. When we have gone out to dinner it’s been to reasonable priced places like bars with food and Mexican once. Oh and all you can eat crab legs but she paid for that. My emotional investment is way more than my $$$ and that **** got out of balance somehow.

Dude. Yes, you have. What is the most valuable resource we as humans have that once gone we can never get back? Time. You can always make more money, but you cannot make more time. If you're going out and she's also paying for things this early on, sounds more like a friendzone than a fvckzone dude. NC and done. I no longer think this friendship can be turned around. You need distance and allow her to chase you. If she does chase you and you're bored, you can invite her over to fvck, that is it. No more calls, chats, messages, etc. You are busy.
 

Robert28

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Dude. Yes, you have. What is the most valuable resource we as humans have that once gone we can never get back? Time. You can always make more money, but you cannot make more time. If you're going out and she's also paying for things this early on, sounds more like a friendzone than a fvckzone dude. NC and done. I no longer think this friendship can be turned around. You need distance and allow her to chase you. If she does chase you and you're bored, you can invite her over to fvck, that is it. No more calls, chats, messages, etc. You are busy.
You’re right. I think what made it take so long to realize I was in the FZ was I’ve never been in the FZ where the girl let’s you makeout with her whenever, grab her ass, etc. That’s a new type friend zone to me.
 

RickTheToad

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You’re right. I think what made it take so long to realize I was in the FZ was I’ve never been in the FZ where the girl let’s you makeout with her whenever, grab her ass, etc. That’s a new type friend zone to me.
The friendzone is evolving. They will go all the way up make it appear that sex is an option, but it is not. They just give you enough to keep you on the hook. It's a sh!t test where a lot of modern men fail. The appropriate response is always to walk away and have her chase you into your frame. Dude, you need a refresher course. Binge watch Rollo's and AMS's videos:

Rollo
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8eLDzfH6YfZRDbDuMsNWiA

AMS
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0it1cu-mt_IcvLTQ4CWcHw


Friendzone vids:

(you)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtVunzkIkTE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqsG7y_aCtE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I_8yEzDcrY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag875QB3RTw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jRfgRnEviA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtVunzkIkTE
 

Glassguy

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She says that she’d love to have me cook for her sometime but I can’t ever get her to commit to it. She will counter with something like “sounds great, we should do that sometime, let’s go out for wings this Friday though.”
Then that's your fault. You're too easy.

I would have said "nah. I really want my penne ala vodka....so if you cant make it over, no problem ".
 

Robert28

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Then that's your fault. You're too easy.

I would have said "nah. I really want my penne ala vodka....so if you cant make it over, no problem ".
Yep I was most definitely too easy. I'm glad I started this thread because I was always second guessing myself, sometimes you have to let others see what you see and let them tell you how it really is. It feels good to know I'm done but that she doesn't have a clue that I'm done.
 

RickTheToad

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Yep I was most definitely too easy. I'm glad I started this thread because I was always second guessing myself, sometimes you have to let others see what you see and let them tell you how it really is. It feels good to know I'm done but that she doesn't have a clue that I'm done.
Good that you are done, but I will add she prob. wouldn't care one way or the other. The fact remains, there's a zillion other guys who would orbit her and take your place. This, situation, is more common than you believe. I see it all the time. In a ladies mind, they do not see what's the big deal, but the fact is, men and ladies work differently. Yes, she knows your end game is to be inside her, but she doesn't comprehend the non-sexual part. In other words, ladies get something out of being "friends" with men. Men do not get anything out of being non-sexual "friends" with a lady. After a 3 - 4 weeks and no sex, you just go no contact and move on. I've had others that have reached out two, three even six months later. Depending on my feelings, I've invited them over. The one's who've come over, we've smashed, the others, nope, and that's fine. I don't waste their time, and more importantly, they don't waste mine.
 

Robert28

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Good that you are done, but I will add she prob. wouldn't care one way or the other. The fact remains, there's a zillion other guys who would orbit her and take your place. This, situation, is more common than you believe. I see it all the time. In a ladies mind, they do not see what's the big deal, but the fact is, men and ladies work differently. Yes, she knows your end game is to be inside her, but she doesn't comprehend the non-sexual part. In other words, ladies get something out of being "friends" with men. Men do not get anything out of being non-sexual "friends" with a lady. After a 3 - 4 weeks and no sex, you just go no contact and move on. I've had others that have reached out two, three even six months later. Depending on my feelings, I've invited them over. The one's who've come over, we've smashed, the others, nope, and that's fine. I don't waste their time, and more importantly, they don't waste mine.
Well, emotionally she might not care that much but I think she will care in the fact that she won't know WHY I completely dropped her. I haven't been giving any hints whatsoever leading up to this, it's just been on my mind for awhile and last night just confirmed it for me which is why I started this thread to see if I was right in my thinking or not. She won't let me go as easily as you think, I did no contact for a day and a half and she blew up my phone over it. I wasn't purposely doing no contact though, I just wasn't the type that just had to talk to her every waking min. She's litteraly going to flip her **** when she reaches out and I don't respond at all.
 
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