Frame + redemption
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
R
Ranger
Guest
Yeah that word redemption. Some powerful shyt right there.
Redemption is a form of idealism. The man needs to teach her and it's only possible when she greatly admires/respect him.
In this case his version of love is accepted as superior to her basic understanding.
That's a very good post !
And it's from way back in 2007.
Holy shiet ! Nothing has change in SS since that time...
Seems like a waste of my energy to even talk about somethings I know.
R
Ranger
Guest
really good read. Pook has it down
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
R
Ranger
Guest
Men need to be reminded.
Yes it seems so.
LA must have been here longer then most to be able to zoom in to that 2007 thread.
R
Ranger
Guest
A hell of a thread.
Yup it fits.
But mine's better as it's borne out of experience and not from theory
Chill dude, I was just pulling at you..
Nah. I won't claim I'm better then POOK or even that fvcker Corey Wayne.
I'm merely claiming that these are my experiences and sharing them here. You'll notice many of the things I speak off can't be found online nor is it a rehashed version of some PUA shiet.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Anyone here is better then CW...
lamath
Master Don Juan
You guys should read
Matt Ridley, The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
Mostly a book about natural and sexual selection very interesting
Just a few quote here
“Mankind is a self-domesticated animal; a mammal; an ape; a social ape; an ape in which the male takes the iniative in courtship and females usually leave the society of their birth; an ape in which men are predators, women herbivorous foragers; an ape in which males are relatively hierarchical, females relatively egalitarian; an ape in which males contribute unusually large amounts of investment in the upbringing of their offspring by provisioning their mates and their children with food, protection, and company; an ape in which monogamous pair bonds are the rule but many males have affairs and occasional males achieve polygamy; an ape in which females mated to low-ranking males often cuckold their husbands in order to gain access to the genes of higher-ranking males; an ape that has been subject to unusually intense mutual sexual selection so that many of the features of the female body (lips, breasts, waists) and the mind of both sexes (songs, competitive ambition, status seeking) are designed for use in competition for mates; an ape that has developed an extraordinary range of new instincts to learn by association, to communicate by speech, and to pass on traditions. But still an ape.”
“We are perforce in some sense constrained, goaded, or at least affected by the accumulated impact of selective decisions made over thousands of generations.”
“The struggle for existence never gets easier. However well a species may adapt to its environment, it can never relax, because its competitors and its enemies are also adapting to their niches. Survival is a zero-sum game.”
Matt Ridley, The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
Mostly a book about natural and sexual selection very interesting
Just a few quote here
“Mankind is a self-domesticated animal; a mammal; an ape; a social ape; an ape in which the male takes the iniative in courtship and females usually leave the society of their birth; an ape in which men are predators, women herbivorous foragers; an ape in which males are relatively hierarchical, females relatively egalitarian; an ape in which males contribute unusually large amounts of investment in the upbringing of their offspring by provisioning their mates and their children with food, protection, and company; an ape in which monogamous pair bonds are the rule but many males have affairs and occasional males achieve polygamy; an ape in which females mated to low-ranking males often cuckold their husbands in order to gain access to the genes of higher-ranking males; an ape that has been subject to unusually intense mutual sexual selection so that many of the features of the female body (lips, breasts, waists) and the mind of both sexes (songs, competitive ambition, status seeking) are designed for use in competition for mates; an ape that has developed an extraordinary range of new instincts to learn by association, to communicate by speech, and to pass on traditions. But still an ape.”
“We are perforce in some sense constrained, goaded, or at least affected by the accumulated impact of selective decisions made over thousands of generations.”
“The struggle for existence never gets easier. However well a species may adapt to its environment, it can never relax, because its competitors and its enemies are also adapting to their niches. Survival is a zero-sum game.”
SpanishFly
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2018
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- 59
Practical answer to the OP. What to do if a woman says "I Love You" first, and you don't yet feel it yourself, or don't want to let the guard down?
This has always worked for me. Look her in the left eye, with a smile, and say "I've always believed that actions speak louder than words", then pull her gently in, and kiss her passionately. Then change the subject quickly to something positive, where she has to follow on.
This has always worked for me. Look her in the left eye, with a smile, and say "I've always believed that actions speak louder than words", then pull her gently in, and kiss her passionately. Then change the subject quickly to something positive, where she has to follow on.
Its good however it's not sustainable. You might fool her once but not all the time.
However you raised a situation that happens to all men.
I personally will respond towards that power play with a...."prove it" followed by a *smirk*.
There's a variety you could come up with along the way, when she does bring it up, to make you commit. The point is you set the standard and she has to comply until such a time you're made a decision.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2007
- Messages
- 5,299
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- 4,338
Those who pretend they don't calibrate are only fooling themselves.
The way you approach, let's say, a newbie is different than the way you approach an executive. Each has their own proclivities/biases and needs which define their uniqueness. To shotgun with a single approach to all shows a degree of mental retardation, and lacks social intelligence.
Powerful is he who knows the audience and gives the guise of tending to their needs.
What I see happening much on this forum is taking one extreme that doesn't work and in rebellion (for one's failings) taking the reverse extreme: The victimized thinker changes his approach to the despotic thinker. Neither extreme works.
Fluidity always works most effectively. Know thy audience. Calibration is the mark of a master.
The way you approach, let's say, a newbie is different than the way you approach an executive. Each has their own proclivities/biases and needs which define their uniqueness. To shotgun with a single approach to all shows a degree of mental retardation, and lacks social intelligence.
Powerful is he who knows the audience and gives the guise of tending to their needs.
What I see happening much on this forum is taking one extreme that doesn't work and in rebellion (for one's failings) taking the reverse extreme: The victimized thinker changes his approach to the despotic thinker. Neither extreme works.
Fluidity always works most effectively. Know thy audience. Calibration is the mark of a master.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Many calibrate against a lady whose rejecting him and treating him horribly. Thus ensuring failure and bad VIBES with others. We have to deal with those who desire to talk to us and be with us.
R
Ranger
Guest
lets take this approach vs Monad/Henid.
Would not one be taking a different shape into being the archetype she is looking for based on her being shaped by another man or society expectations?
VSERSUS
in the Monad/Henid the man is the single point of eminence of masculinity so that she, being substance without form, or a form dictated by a social structure or even a past “Alpha” that shaped her, would be operating in her assumed reality.
For her to be drawn to this new single point of eminence, his frame would require that he be an individuated monad. It is then that he can shape her to the new environment, him.
The only thing we should be pursuing is our dreams. Not women.
And when a man's is great women will flock to him without even playing the "game".
He will get invites as I do.
Frustrating right ?
R
Ranger
Guest
This feels like surrender.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.