“I Love you” and the razor’s edge

SpanishFly

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Practical answer to the OP. What to do if a woman says "I Love You" first, and you don't yet feel it yourself, or don't want to let the guard down?

This has always worked for me. Look her in the left eye, with a smile, and say "I've always believed that actions speak louder than words", then pull her gently in, and kiss her passionately. Then change the subject quickly to something positive, where she has to follow on.
 

Spaz

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Practical answer to the OP. What to do if a woman says "I Love You" first, and you don't yet feel it yourself, or don't want to let the guard down?

This has always worked for me. Look her in the left eye, with a smile, and say "I've always believed that actions speak louder than words", then pull her gently in, and kiss her passionately. Then change the subject quickly to something positive, where she has to follow on.
Its good however it's not sustainable. You might fool her once but not all the time.

However you raised a situation that happens to all men.

I personally will respond towards that power play with a...."prove it" followed by a *smirk*.

There's a variety you could come up with along the way, when she does bring it up, to make you commit. The point is you set the standard and she has to comply until such a time you're made a decision.
 

guru1000

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Those who pretend they don't calibrate are only fooling themselves.

The way you approach, let's say, a newbie is different than the way you approach an executive. Each has their own proclivities/biases and needs which define their uniqueness. To shotgun with a single approach to all shows a degree of mental retardation, and lacks social intelligence.

Powerful is he who knows the audience and gives the guise of tending to their needs.

What I see happening much on this forum is taking one extreme that doesn't work and in rebellion (for one's failings) taking the reverse extreme: The victimized thinker changes his approach to the despotic thinker. Neither extreme works.

Fluidity always works most effectively. Know thy audience. Calibration is the mark of a master.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Those who pretend they don't calibrate are only fooling themselves.

The way you approach, let's say, a newbie is different than the way you approach an executive. Each has their own proclivities/biases and needs which define their uniqueness. To shotgun with a single approach to all shows a degree of mental retardation, and lacks social intelligence.

Powerful is he who knows the audience and gives the guise of tending to their needs.

What I see happening much on this forum is taking one extreme that doesn't work and in rebellion (for one's failings) taking the reverse extreme: The victimized thinker changes his approach to the despotic thinker. Neither extreme works.

Fluidity always works most effectively. Know thy audience. Calibration is the mark of a master.
Many calibrate against a lady whose rejecting him and treating him horribly. Thus ensuring failure and bad VIBES with others. We have to deal with those who desire to talk to us and be with us.
 
R

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You guys should read
Matt Ridley, The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
Mostly a book about natural and sexual selection very interesting

Just a few quote here
“Mankind is a self-domesticated animal; a mammal; an ape; a social ape; an ape in which the male takes the iniative in courtship and females usually leave the society of their birth; an ape in which men are predators, women herbivorous foragers; an ape in which males are relatively hierarchical, females relatively egalitarian; an ape in which males contribute unusually large amounts of investment in the upbringing of their offspring by provisioning their mates
Those who pretend they don't calibrate are only fooling themselves.

The way you approach, let's say, a newbie is different than the way you approach an executive. Each has their own proclivities/biases and needs which define their uniqueness. To shotgun with a single approach to all shows a degree of mental retardation, and lacks social intelligence.

Powerful is he who knows the audience and gives the guise of tending to their needs.

What I see happening much on this forum is taking one extreme that doesn't work and in rebellion (for one's failings) taking the reverse extreme: The victimized thinker changes his approach to the despotic thinker. Neither extreme works.

Fluidity always works most effectively. Know thy audience. Calibration is the mark of a master.
lets take this approach vs Monad/Henid.
Would not one be taking a different shape into being the archetype she is looking for based on her being shaped by another man or society expectations?
VSERSUS
in the Monad/Henid the man is the single point of eminence of masculinity so that she, being substance without form, or a form dictated by a social structure or even a past “Alpha” that shaped her, would be operating in her assumed reality.
For her to be drawn to this new single point of eminence, his frame would require that he be an individuated monad. It is then that he can shape her to the new environment, him.

The only thing we should be pursuing is our dreams. Not women.
 

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guru1000

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in the Monad/Henid the man is the single point of eminence of masculinity so that she, being substance without form, or a form dictated by a social structure or even a past “Alpha” that shaped her, would be operating in her assumed reality.
For her to be drawn to this new single point of eminence, his frame would require that he be an individuated monad. It is then that he can shape her to the new environment, him.
The only thing we should pursuing is our dreams. Not women. .
I see the seemly clash in ideology: fluidity vs leadership. How could fluidity--the act of being seemly formless, shapeless--be the source of a man, while, at the same time, this same man be expected to lead and shape her or their world into his own construct?

However, there's no contradiction: Fluidity does not clash with being a leader. In fact, fluidity (to her needs) makes you a more effective leader.

To lead effectively, YOU, as the arbiter of the greater dynamic we call frame, must meet their needs (or give the illusion of meeting their needs) to garner his/her/their deference to your cause. The broader question is how can one willingly defer to your leadership, if they are not gaining value from the process?

Simple example: Employee seeks a job with a certain level of income and status. Should employer not service employee's income/status requirement first, the employee can not and will not defer. However, should employer service employee's needs (or provide the illusion), the employee willingly defers to the employer's leadership and cause.

What one should not do in the context of fluidity is compromise his own needs/desires/agenda in furtherance of hers. Within this context, as @mrgoodstuff was getting to, YOU--the arbiter of frame--are no longer meeting one of her needs, that is, the need to be led.
guru1000 said:
Powerful is he who knows the audience and gives the guise of tending to their needs.
 
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R

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I see the seemly clash in ideology: fluidity vs leadership. How could fluidity--the act of being seemly formless, shapeless--be the source of a man, while, at the same time, this same man be expected to lead and shape her or their world into his own construct?

However, there's no contradiction: Fluidity does not clash with being a leader. In fact, fluidity (to her needs) makes you a more effective leader.

To lead effectively, YOU, as the arbiter of the greater dynamic we call frame, must meet their needs (or give the illusion of meeting their needs) to garner his/her/their deference to your cause. The broader question is how can one willingly defer to your leadership, if they are not gaining value from the process?

Simple example: Employee seeks a job with a certain level of income and status. Should employer not service employee's income/status requirement first, the employee can not and will not defer. However, should employer service employee's needs (or provide the illusion), the employee willingly defers to the employer's leadership and cause.

What one should not do in the context of fluidity is compromise his own needs/desires/agenda in furtherance of hers. Within this context, as @mrgoodstuff was getting to, YOU--the arbiter of frame--are no longer meeting one of her needs, that is, the need to be led.
I understand. One would need to demonstrate that her needs can be met. His version of love so to speak.
 

guru1000

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I understand. One would need to demonstrate that her needs can be met. His version of love so to speak.
Yes, though, tricky topic, often misconstrued.

Sometimes her "need" is to be challenged or spaced. Hence why dismissing can be en effective strategy in the beginning to prompt chase for some. Certainly not for all, as needs differ.

The need sometimes runs counter-intuitive, hence, "game."
 
R

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I do think that individuating and become that single point of masculine eminence is the primary in this dynamic of women. She won’t find it with the Femininized men. They are too busy shaping to her. Even with PUA tactics. Especially so. It’s the wrong model.
Sales of anything would have to be tweaked to the buyer or something the buyer is already seeking. If a woman is seeking masculine energy, which would correlate, then he would need to be that which eminates masculinity first.
 

guru1000

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I do think that individuating and become that single point of masculine eminence is the primary in this dynamic of women. She won’t find it with the Femininized men. They are too busy shaping to her. Even with PUA tactics. Especially so. It’s the wrong model.
Sales of anything would have to be tweaked to the buyer or something the buyer is already seeking. If a woman is seeking masculine energy, which would correlate, then he would need to be that which eminates masculinity first.
Yes, masculinity is a deep need; though not the full package as then all the vikings of today's society would garner the most women. The distinction/limitations of meeting needs lies here:
What one should not do in the context of fluidity is compromise his own needs/desires/agenda in furtherance of hers. Within this context, as @mrgoodstuff was getting to, YOU--the arbiter of frame--are no longer meeting one of her needs, that is, the need to be led.
 
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R

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I believe we have agreement. I won’t be sacrificing anything for a woman.
 

guru1000

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Another key concept that leads us to the "Pursue only your passions, and they will come/stay." I call this the CEO paradigm.

While too busy "taking over the world" in pursuance of thy passions, who is no longer a source of your attention? Might be intriguing at first, but in LTR context, it fails.

Working around the clock in furtherance of power, exhausted during any free time, the CEO pays her little/no attention, leave her feeling unappreciated--neglecting her companionship need. Hence, "fvck the pool boy" dynamic arises or--if a woman has greater integrity--disrespect followed by the end.
 
R

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Another key concept that leads us to the "Pursue only your passions, and they will come/stay." I call this the CEO paradigm.

While too busy "taking over the world" in pursuance of thy passions, who is no longer a source of your attention? Might be intriguing at first, but in LTR context, it fails.

Working around the clock in furtherance of power, exhausted during any free time, the CEO pays her little/no attention, leave her feeling unappreciated--neglecting her companionship need. Hence, "fvck the pool boy" dynamic arises or--if a woman has greater integrity--disrespect followed by the end.
She isn’t shaping. Not feeling part of your world.
 
R

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This is also why a younger woman is optimum. One with less partners.
 
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