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If your end goal is a stable, nice family with a loving wife; what is the best way to achieve this?

mrgoodstuff

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Most people don't. That's my point. Wanting to ENOUGH is the issue. Wishing it were easy is not the same as wanting to enough.

Plenty of fat people WISH they were skinny. But they don't want to lose weight ENOUGH to actually go through the LONG DIFFICULT PROCESS of actually doing it.

Plenty of people here WISH it were easier to get laid. But they don't WANT TO ENOUGH to go through the many YEARS of self development. It's much easier to BLAME THE MARKET.
It don't take years of development to get laid. That's over thinking things, making them more difficult than they need to be.
 

zekko

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At the same time, people cling to the belief that they can REALLY CHANGE if they REALLY WANT to.

They're just not quite ready yet.
There's some truth there, you have to really want it. I used to smoke when I was younger, and I tried to quit several times. Actually did quit several times, but always still had the desire, and always ended up going back to smoking eventually. At some point, I was actually ready, and I quit and haven't wanted one since. I guess I wasn't really ready, until I was.
 

R.U.G.

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But you still have a child. An heir to your throne. I have no child myself and have no biological print in this world to perpetuate myself genetically to the next generation. You now have a small version of yourself that exists. A child. That in itself is not a big deal to you?
Who cares? At one time, people had children for a reason and purpose. Now, people just have kids for a "legacy". Seems selfish and egotistical to me. You want to bring in another life in to this world? Look how we left it thus far? If you want a kid so badly, adopt. Oh, wait, then your "bloodline" will not continue. Thus, this is selfish. Plenty of good kids to adopt.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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I used to smoke when I was younger, and I tried to quit several times. Actually did quit several times, but always still had the desire, and always ended up going back to smoking eventually.
That's a very common story of personal change. A long time struggling, trial and error, until the change finally happens.

I was the same way with drinking. Drank for years, desperate to quit. Tried and failed several times, then finally quit for good, and never looked back.

Change is very possible, but if often requires YEARS of struggle. It's not something one does by just deciding one day to change.
 

corrector

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Who cares? At one time, people had children for a reason and purpose. Now, people just have kids for a "legacy". Seems selfish and egotistical to me. You want to bring in another life in to this world? Look how we left it thus far? If you want a kid so badly, adopt. Oh, wait, then your "bloodline" will not continue. Thus, this is selfish. Plenty of good kids to adopt.
Who said I wanted a kid right now? Can't support one.

Just because something sounds nice on paper to have doesn't mean it's practical or something that could work.
I am saying, I don't get it that people complain who have kids. If a married couple has kids, then they usually planned to have them, and if a divorce happens, then it's a benefit if there is a kid generated form all of that so the whole marriage is not just a waste beyond just having a memory and past social splash of it.

But again, it depends if the guy has the means to support a kid in the first place. We know things can be very hard for people who bring children in the world, can't support them, and expect the state to take up the slack and end up with huge back-child support bills.

Oh, and by the way, I saw the movie "Lion". It's a great adoption story. An Indian boy who lost his family accidentally was adopted to this nice Tasmanian/Australian family and then he was able to find his original family back in India. A heartwarming story. I own the movie too. Therefore, I'm not against adoption, or watching a good movie about it.
 

highSpeed

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But you still have a child. An heir to your throne. I have no child myself and have no biological print in this world to perpetuate myself genetically to the next generation. You now have a small version of yourself that exists. A child. That in itself is not a big deal to you?
Not really. If that kid doesn't live with you or you are not a respected member of a household, that kid is not going to grow up to love, respect and honor you. If you don't get that, it's kind of a waste of time. So are you going to leave your fortune to someone who hates you, disrespects you, despises you or worse yet, all of the above? No, I'd rather leave my fortune to a charity at that point. Kids are only a blessing when they are your kids. They're not your kids if they don't walk like you, talk like you or think like you. They can't do any of those things if they don't love, honor and respect you.
 

zekko

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Change is very possible, but if often requires YEARS of struggle. It's not something one does by just deciding one day to change.
Maybe sometimes you have to put in those years of struggle before you can come to the point where you're ready. That's why I'm probably more sympathetic to fat women than some here. Not that I find them any more appealing. But for some people it's not that simple to just "put the fork down". Bad habits get ingrained, and can sometime take years to replace them.
 

R.U.G.

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Funny story about hypergamish women. When I was in my 20's, there was this attractive woman I saw. At the time, I didn't know she was a MILF (26 y.o.). I picked her up the second date at her house and her daughter was there. Must of had her young. Anyway, she was going through her second divorce, and she just wanted to have fun and I was game. Here's the kicker, the kid was from the 1st marriage that lasted a year. She got the second douche to not only marry her, but legally adopt her kid. The marriage was such a wreck they both had to file for bankruptcy and they lost their house. The shortly after filed for divorce. She got child support (from the douche who the kid called him by his first name, and had no respect for him), medical insurance through college, and college paid for by the douche. He in his late 30's had to move back in with his parents. She had temp. spousal support and was renting a house for her, her daughter and two dogs for 2k a month. He was on the hook for some of that as well.

I dropped her a month later, and she married another douche who was morbidly obese and a NYPD cop I hear. She moved into his place, a house, and if/when they divorce, she'll have some of that juicy NYPD pension and retirement.

Marriage is so dangerous these days. It can literally ruin a man in so many ways. Yet, the women just hope from d!ck to d!ck to d!ck. She's not that attractive anymore and still looks at me with distain when we pass by. Though, her 22 year old daughter is quite attractive. ;'p
 

highSpeed

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Funny story about hypergamish women. When I was in my 20's, there was this attractive woman I saw. At the time, I didn't know she was a MILF (26 y.o.). I picked her up the second date at her house and her daughter was there. Must of had her young. Anyway, she was going through her second divorce, and she just wanted to have fun and I was game. Here's the kicker, the kid was from the 1st marriage that lasted a year. She got the second douche to not only marry her, but legally adopt her kid. The marriage was such a wreck they both had to file for bankruptcy and they lost their house. The shortly after filed for divorce. She got child support (from the douche who the kid called him by his first name, and had no respect for him), medical insurance through college, and college paid for by the douche. He in his late 30's had to move back in with his parents. She had temp. spousal support and was renting a house for her, her daughter and two dogs for 2k a month. He was on the hook for some of that as well.

I dropped her a month later, and she married another douche who was morbidly obese and a NYPD cop I hear. She moved into his place, a house, and if/when they divorce, she'll have some of that juicy NYPD pension and retirement.

Marriage is so dangerous these days. It can literally ruin a man in so many ways. Yet, the women just hope from d!ck to d!ck to d!ck. She's not that attractive anymore and still looks at me with distain when we pass by. Though, her 22 year old daughter is quite attractive. ;'p
Are you serious? If they divorce? Is it even worth wasting the if/ keys? Bet you a hundred bucks they're divorced. Bet you another hundred bucks at an absolute bare minimum if they do happen to be married by some miracle (like you mentioned, her looks are gone, that would be the miracle for him, at least if he doesn't want to get f*cked by the system he polices anyway), both him and her are miserable. She's miserable because she can't keep hopping from **** to **** and he's miserable because he can't get rid of her.
 

R.U.G.

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Are you serious? If they divorce? Is it even worth wasting the if/ keys? Bet you a hundred bucks they're divorced. Bet you another hundred bucks at an absolute bare minimum if they do happen to be married by some miracle (like you mentioned, her looks are gone, that would be the miracle for him, at least if he doesn't want to get f*cked by the system he polices anyway), both him and her are miserable. She's miserable because she can't keep hopping from **** to **** and he's miserable because he can't get rid of her.
Maybe, maybe not. Usually, when women are nearing the youthful expiration date, they settle. This bro makes Yokozuna fit. Amazes me that any city allows their police to be not just overweight, but obese. Anyways, I am sure the bro is happy to get something, she was good in bed, but a complete b!itch outside the bedroom.

Anyways, gentlemen, you select the blue pill, and you can also be the chump like hubby # 2 of this wonderful peach of a woman. It sucks, but this is reality. If you think getting a Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Christian or any "religious" backed woman to be subservient and work on the marriage, you are fooling yourself. However, Jewish women usually have a nice rack and suck a really good d!ck. Christians/Catholics are usually nuts in the sack. Muslims are known for loving anal. So, if you look at it that way, they all have some pluses. :p Then again, you can have an about-face after the contract is signed and she thinks she got you. My ex-wife was a devout Catholic (blond hair / blue eyes 34DD t!ts). Sex started drying up about a year after marriage. Before marriage, anytime day, night, public, private. Gave it another year, got worse, filed for divorce and kicked her out of my house with my police force friends escorting her and her parents off my property. After that ordeal, I knew the marriage and divorce institutions were a sham. Never again.
 

wifehunter

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"If your end goal is a stable, nice family with a loving wife; what is the best way to achieve this?"

You can't, on your own. You need the right situation, and some supernatural help for that.

....aka a miracle
 

mrgoodstuff

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"If your end goal is a stable, nice family with a loving wife; what is the best way to achieve this?"

You can't, on your own. You need the right situation, and some supernatural help for that.

....aka a miracle
So nobody is allowed this?
 

Murk

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Most people can't. Fat people being the clearest example. Only about 2% of fat adults who lose weight keep it off.

Not eating when you are hungry is braindead simple. Yet people CAN'T manage to do that.

Changing social behavior is much more difficult.

Based on STATISTICS, once a fatty, always a fatty.

Once a degenerate, always a degenerate.

As much as sights like this claim, once you are on a life trajectory, the longer it lasts, the HARDER it is to change.

At the same time, people cling to the belief that they can REALLY CHANGE if they REALLY WANT to.

They're just not quite ready yet.

Ever.
Except we're not talking about fat people or degenerates.

We are talking about a guy that parties too much.

Now if you or the people agreeing with you don't think people can just stop partying then you live sheltered lives and need to get out more before you're qualified to give advice on such things. Read OP's post, he wants to stop going out and get a good girl.

The advice on here is sometimes pathetic as fvck. People trying to be enlightened guru's because nobody outside of a forum looks up to them or values their input, over complicating very simple things.

Cheers.
 

lizardking82

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Partied all throughout college, and afterwards. Im definitely known as the biggest partier and degenerate at my workplace.

I just want a family now.
The problem is the fact you want a family now. You don't want it for you, you want it for your reputation. You want your reputation to change. It's an image thing, not an inner "corporate" thing you always wanted. You can't party through your 20s and instantly have a family in your thirties. That's why you figure out early in life what you want and you dedicated yourself to making the choices that raise your chances of getting that. You sound like a woman now "I rode the CC through my twenties, but I wanna settle down now, yay!"
 

Murk

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The problem is the fact you want a family now. You don't want it for you, you want it for your reputation. You want your reputation to change. It's an image thing, not an inner "corporate" thing you always wanted. You can't party through your 20s and instantly have a family in your thirties. That's why you figure out early in life what you want and you dedicated yourself to making the choices that raise your chances of getting that. You sound like a woman now "I rode the CC through my twenties, but I wanna settle down now, yay!"
Bull****.

I've seen people party through twenties and immediately settle down in thirties. Women do it all the time too.

You also can't say he wants it just for reputation without any basis. Usually when you get into thirties you do want a family.

He needs to stop partying so much, be the best man he can be and start spinning plates and dating women, in that order.
 

wifehunter

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The problem is the fact you want a family now. You don't want it for you, you want it for your reputation. You want your reputation to change. It's an image thing, not an inner "corporate" thing you always wanted. You can't party through your 20s and instantly have a family in your thirties. That's why you figure out early in life what you want and you dedicated yourself to making the choices that raise your chances of getting that. You sound like a woman now "I rode the CC through my twenties, but I wanna settle down now, yay!"
The term 'born again virgin' comes to mind...

It's nonsense.

We all pay for our mistakes, unless you're an HB9 surrounded by white knights.
 

lizardking82

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Bull****.

I've seen people party through twenties and immediately settle down in thirties. Women do it all the time too.

You also can't say he wants it just for reputation without any basis. Usually when you get into thirties you do want a family.

He needs to stop partying so much, be the best man he can be and start spinning plates and dating women, in that order.
Yeah, I'm going deeper than you are, buddy. 10+ years of doing the same thing leaves a mark on you. What does it say about a person when he "parties hard"? Can't imagine he's a quality lad overall and can't see him completely and 360 degrees changing himself into a family man.

You didn't get my point at all. Of course he can find someone and start a family, but I don't see quality in all this. I don't see quality in this man because no quality man would spend the most full of energy period of his life with something as shallow as partying, I don't see quality in the woman who would engage such a man to start a family and I don't see quality in the offspring coming out of this possible couple cause you can deviate genetics 10/15 percent, but you can't avoid it.

I speak by my standard of living and having a family, apparently what is important to you is that one just has it, disregarding the quality of its chances of failure.
 
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