B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Does she really mean that or is it just an excuse to dump me?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Feels like we don't have that much in common?
- Thread starter B0redandl0nely
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I already said "hit me up if you change ur mind.' I wish I would have said what you said.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
she also said "i felt like i do most of the conversation. i hope im not that bad to talk to." well i have aspergers syndrome so no wonder..
Glassguy
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The problem with that is you gave her all control of the situation.
IMO, it's best to make her think there is another factor, wondering how you are actually ok with it and it leaves her head spinning. It also keeps you in control of yourself. She can't just change her mind next week and you'll be there waiting. It sounds like you ALREADY replaced her and she didn't know it or see it coming. Women hate that......and they normally come back around.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Well I guess it's too late for that. Right?
Glassguy
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My favorite exit line to date was a few months ago.
2 dates....pizza, beer and sex. She paid for the pizza and beer. She heard I was a "player" and sent me a really dirty text. Said she didn't know if we should go out again (She was looking for a good ego stroking)
My response:
Thank gawd you brought this up. I feel the same way. Anywho...thanks for the pizza, beer and piece of @ss. The beer was ice cold and the pizza was phenomenal. I'll definitely hit that place up on future dates. Take care hun "
Then she blew my phone up for 2 weeks, showed up at my house and I had to block her number and all social media. That response P!SSED her off. It it also took her interest to a crazy level
2 dates....pizza, beer and sex. She paid for the pizza and beer. She heard I was a "player" and sent me a really dirty text. Said she didn't know if we should go out again (She was looking for a good ego stroking)
My response:
Thank gawd you brought this up. I feel the same way. Anywho...thanks for the pizza, beer and piece of @ss. The beer was ice cold and the pizza was phenomenal. I'll definitely hit that place up on future dates. Take care hun "
Then she blew my phone up for 2 weeks, showed up at my house and I had to block her number and all social media. That response P!SSED her off. It it also took her interest to a crazy level
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
So there's nothing I can do and she deff won't hit me up right?
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
??
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Glassguy
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Who knows what she will do....shes a woman lol.
I guarantee you 2 things:
1.) For some reason her interest level was dropping or she really feels like you dont have much in common (unlikely).
2.) Any chasing will just push her away quicker.
Leave it alone, and I mean DO NOT initiate contact with her for ANY reason. If she reaches out, be busy and wait several hours before you respond. Only give her VERY short answers. If she says "maybe we should talk, maybe I made a mistake, can we talk".....simply say "sure but I'm not sure when I'll get free. I'll let you know when I get free" and then wait a few days to see if she reaches back out. Make her do work.
I wouldn't advise answering any of her phone calls right now. It's too easy to let her put you on the spot and doesn't give you any time to give her thought out, short responses. Plus you're supposed to be busy going a different direction. Remember?
marmel75
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Irrelevant. Its one of about 5 or 6 excuse du jour's women give when they lose interest in a guy.
My favorite thing to say to this in reply "Thats a good thing. Ive always believed when two people agree on everything one of them is not needed"
And then ler her respond if ahe chooses to and go from there...and if nothing from her end then go NC and delete her number.
99% of the time this is a "some guy has surfaced that I'm more interested in" line
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
How the **** do you know there's another guy?
marmel75
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Because when its not you there is ALWAYS another guy.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
That's not bad at all. The problem is that you attach too much significance to being liked by this girl. You care too much. I get the impression that you are not that happy being single, which will always put a lot of pressure on your relationships.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I'm gonna ask her
Glassguy
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You don't take good advise very well.
Ask her and it will start a fight and she will never admit it anyways.
Do not contact her.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
what does it matter if I can't get her back?
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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Seriously? You want to make yourself look that lame? She isnt going to give you a straight answer anyway.
But if you want to give her and her friends great laughing material when they get together then go for it...
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
you'e
an *******
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.