"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Need advice from a DJ with inner game.

TheMonkeyKing

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Without reading the thread, here is immediate impression regards OP....

How to detach yourself emotionally from a woman in whom you have already invested yourself emotionally?
The ultimate solution is, don't get attached in the first place.

2-month fling with HB7.
Successful insertion of d!ck.
Encountered low interest (flakiness)
Stayed low contact to observe from afar.
Saw some red flags
Lack of sexual options kept me from hard nexting for 2 more weeks before I dropped her just now.
As well as being the summary, this doubles as a list of all the reasons you should not have been invested (attached) in the first place; number one reason being, timeframe. You knew this girl for two months (i.e. 1/3 of your minimum screening period), and she showed you she wasn't worth your time.

I believe that I'm the prize.

This belief is congruent with my behaviour, body language and actions.
I have to argue that this is not entirely true, owing to the description of your situation above. If you think about it, you'll understand why I say this. She for one clearly doesn't consider you a prize. [I think you'd prefer an honest interpretation.] As results, you aren't questioning her worth, rather questioning your own (despite your claims).

Pro tips:

-Your own value will always be a minimum 8/10 - in times of doubt, fake until you make it; i.e. truly 'being the prize'.
-You are always a prize, because every day, as far as possible, you engage in self improvement.
-Never consider exclusivity with a woman with a lower value than your own - i.e. lower than an 8.
-Rarely will you consider exclusivity with anyone lower than a 9; an 8 can slide too easily back down to a 7.
-Every woman you meet starts as a 7/10. And, as a minimum, is a 7/10.
-A woman's value only increases value from forementioned 7/10 under burden of proof.
-Said burden of proof is an ongoing consideration.

-Screening always last a minimum of six months.
-Screening period will always involve sh!t tests to some extent.
-Screening will always introduce doubt about her worth, not yours.
-Her top trump score should outweigh sh!t testing and doubt. When testing and doubt take precedence, she's failed screening.
-Ninety percent of women will fail screening (hence you only consider exclusivity with 9/10's and above) (hence we need to be screening many candidates on an ongoing basis).
-Candidates might be re-screened in future appraisal, though maybe 70% of those will only result in failure again.

-Learn the difference between emotional investment and critical appraisal.
-As a man, replace emotional investment with rational, critical appraisal.
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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darksprezzatura

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Without reading the thread, here is immediate impression regards OP....


The ultimate solution is, don't get attached in the first place.


As well as being the summary, this doubles as a list of all the reasons you should not have been invested (attached) in the first place; number one reason being, timeframe. You knew this girl for two months (i.e. 1/3 of your minimum screening period), and she showed you she wasn't worth your time.


I have to argue that this is not entirely true, owing to the description of your situation above. If you think about it, you'll understand why I say this. She for one clearly doesn't consider you a prize. [I think you'd prefer an honest interpretation.] As results, you aren't questioning her worth, rather questioning your own (despite your claims).

Pro tips:

-Your own value will always be a minimum 8/10 - in times of doubt, fake until you make it; i.e. truly 'being the prize'.
-You are always a prize, because every day, as far as possible, you engage in self improvement.
-Never consider exclusivity with a woman with a lower value than your own - i.e. lower than an 8.
-Rarely will you consider exclusivity with anyone lower than a 9; an 8 can slide too easily back down to a 7.
-Every woman you meet starts as a 7/10. And, as a minimum, is a 7/10.
-A woman's value only increases value from forementioned 7/10 under burden of proof.
-Said burden of proof is an ongoing consideration.

-Screening always last a minimum of six months.
-Screening period will always involve sh!t tests to some extent.
-Screening will always introduce doubt about her worth, not yours.
-Her top trump score should outweigh sh!t testing and doubt. When testing and doubt take precedence, she's failed screening.
-Ninety percent of women will fail screening (hence you only consider exclusivity with 9/10's and above) (hence we need to be screening many candidates on an ongoing basis).
-Candidates might be re-screened in future appraisal, though maybe 70% of those will only result in failure again.

-Learn the difference between emotional investment and critical appraisal.
-As a man, replace emotional investment with rational, critical appraisal.
Great insight with several legitimate points.

Being in the game, Ive noticed it's critically important that we never doubt ourselves and regard any unwanted behaviour like flakiness or low interest as cue to open ourselves to better prospects and walk away.

It's always better to pursue highly interested women whom we can put time to screen than put in effort to increase a girl's low interest level - delusionally considering them as a challenge.

Women flock to men who believe they are the ones to be won over instead of the women.
 
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bigneil

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Without reading the thread, here is immediate impression regards OP....
The ultimate solution is, don't get attached in the first place.
Not possible with a sufficiently hot enough, young enough girl. This is especially true as you get older and better and seducing the women you really like.

After seducing her, I resisted falling for my dream girl for about 7 weeks. We had already had sex for about a month when she was clinging to me on the couch one night, wearing nothing but my T-shirt. She had a full body cuddle that felt like we were two magnets that clicked together. She climbed on my lap. I told her that if I knew how bad she was it would only turn me on.

I remember the exact moment it happened. I said "You're going to drive me crazy" and she said "No I won't.... wait... yes I will. I WANT to drive you crazy!" and as I carried her off to the bedroom (for the third time that night) she made certain sounds that made my heart sing. I threw her in the bed and she bit her lip as I undressed. She had the most excited look in her eye so I knew she had already fallen (she later confessed she fell the first time we had sex). She had washed off all of her makeup for the first time and looked so childlike. That was the exact moment she stole my heart. I managed to keep her in love for 8 more months after that, and then it ended suddenly.

I would never want to change that experience. It was the best experience I ever had with a woman. The pain of eventually having to walk away from her only made me stronger. Our relationship crystallized in my mind as if it were a wonderful dream.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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It's always better to pursue highly interested women whom we can put time to screen than put in effort to increase a girl's low interest level.
-A low interest girl will not give you time to screen her.
-This sometimes owes to her knowing that you are of higher value; and ultimately in the long run, she will get more investment from a lower value guy.

Not possible
She had washed off all of her makeup for the first time and looked so childlike. That was the exact moment she stole my heart.
Though I understand the allure of a beautiful, vulnerable young woman in her prime, this is what I'm saying; with due respect, you were thinking with you feel-feels and your d!ck.

It's a woman's job to be in this vulnerable state when she's in love. It's a man's job to maintain his frame that caused that love to develop. Maybe the mistake you (and many others) made, was allowing yourself to match her vulnerability, rather than nurturing it.

It wasn't the 'Neil who was in love with her' that she fell for. It was the 'Neil who made her fall in love' who she fell for. For me, it's important to understand the difference.

Thus, she declares undying love for another guy a few months down the line. Hence, I say you didn't screen appropriately and your investment of 'love' was both premature and inappropriate in nature.

That being said, you had a decent length relationship by today's standards and apparently were both happy for a time. So this is by no means nay-saying.
 

darksprezzatura

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-A low interest girl will not give you time to screen her.
-This sometimes owes to her knowing that you are of higher value; and ultimately in the long run, she will get more investment from a lower value guy.
I'm not interested in women with low interest, sooner than later I cut my losses as it's wasted investment.

That said, I'll be glad to know your methods to screen, both directly and indirectly.

Don't bother if they are old school interview type questions.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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TheMonkeyKing

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I'm not interested in women with low interest, sooner than later I cut my losses as it's wasted investment.

That said, I'll be glad to know your methods to screen, both directly and indirectly.

Don't bother if they are old school interview type questions.
Quite the opposite. I am far more interested in observation than questioning - i.e. attending to actions rather than words.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/do-you-even-screen.242194/

In the same light as my comments to Neil above, women have mastered the art of manipulating modern men using emotion and appearance; rendering men incapable of objective appraisal of the situation (as per my link).

I am minded to do another thread on the warning signs of being blind-sided in this manner, and the general ignorance of men to their own manipulation.
 
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