"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Your perspective on the situation

darksprezzatura

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My last bang HB 7.5 flaked on me today. With the typical 'last minute crisis' excuse with no reschedule.

She's flaked thrice. Total four dates.
After today I think it's safe to say she has low IL, charge it to the game and move on.

I replied to her flake with '...' and deleted her number.

Your plan of action?

Red flags :
-Lots of orbiters
-'says she's like the guys'
-Lawyer/Feminist
-Mommy issues she told me about
-Low social background
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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TheMonkeyKing

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A few thoughts....

-Maybe you didn't bang her properly. Look up a few instructional videos on youtube. Or Google 'intense orgasm'. You should know when they're really enjoying it, compared to just going through the motions. Girls who get banged right don't flake.

-Your are probably right about the low interest. That being said, your own interest is probably too high. Part of the reason she's flaking is because you are probably being too keen, though you likely don't realise it - keen guys rarely do until it's too late.

-After three flakes, I probably wouldn't have responded at all. Balls in her court. You sound like a back up to be fair. As with most situations on this forum, you are too emotionally invested in the situation. You should have at least two or three back ups as well. Responding the way you did and deleting the number displays high emotion.

You see the red flags yourself. So why get so personally involved? Guys need to be more discerning about what they can get from a woman. At the moment it's always straight to day dreams of wife material. When actually, sometimes, they're good for a couple of bangs and that's it.

Time to move on man. This one is pretty much done.
 

darksprezzatura

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A few thoughts....

-Maybe you didn't bang her properly. Look up a few instructional videos on youtube. Or Google 'intense orgasm'. You should know when they're really enjoying it, compared to just going through the motions. Girls who get banged right don't flake.

-Your are probably right about the low interest. That being said, your own interest is probably too high. Part of the reason she's flaking is because you are probably being too keen, though you likely don't realise it - keen guys rarely do until it's too late.

-After three flakes, I probably wouldn't have responded at all. Balls in her court. You sound like a back up to be fair. As with most situations on this forum, you are too emotionally invested in the situation. You should have at least two or three back ups as well. Responding the way you did and deleting the number displays high emotion.

You see the red flags yourself. So why get so personally involved? Guys need to be more discerning about what they can get from a woman. At the moment it's always straight to day dreams of wife material. When actually, sometimes, they're good for a couple of bangs and that's it.

Time to move on man. This one is pretty much done.
This is where it's confusing.

1) The bang
-Feminist blowing c0ck looked neat.
-Definitely the convulated O face.
-Limp legs after sex.
-Wet af
-Dug nails in my back.
-Trying to be close, cuddle, kissing afterwards.
-Got a text in two hours after the date that she had a great time.
-Insinuated meeting again twice post sex.

2) Yes. Girls flake for all sorts of reason, but if they really dig you, they do anything to meet you. The bit about keen guys realise too late is a gold observation.

3) The three flakes weren't in succession. Always a flake then a reschedule.
D-F-D-F-D(Bang) -F- Delete number
 
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Billtx49

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There might well be another dog in her yard. Sounds like she has scheduling problems for some reason.
 
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darksprezzatura

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There might well be another dog in her yard. Sounds like she has scheduling problems for some reason.
She apologised for cancelling but didn't attempt a reschedule. I can't sacrifice my self respect. Just looking for reaffirmation that I did the right thing dropping her permanently.

We all know dropping a good bang is hard.

Im rationalising if she's like this before a relationship, she'll be hell in the long run.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TheMonkeyKing

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D-F-D-F-D(Bang) -F
Looks like a pattern there. You are due another date or bang, by looks of things.

My ex was like this, which is why it fell apart in the end. She still tries to initiate stuff to this day, but always on her terms, like right at the last minute. I don't live my life like that, well, I was more open to it once upon a time until she flaked once too often.

Up to you, you could give it a few more tries, but don't initiate anything yourself, and don't get too disappointed when it happens again, which it will. Have a cut off point maybe; like, 3 more flakes, then out. You just end up wasting whole evenings waiting around for chicks like this.
 

darksprezzatura

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Looks like a pattern there. You are due another date or bang, by looks of things.

My ex was like this, which is why it fell apart in the end. She still tries to initiate stuff to this day, but always on her terms, like right at the last minute. I don't live my life like that, well, I was more open to it once upon a time until she flaked once too often.

Up to you, you could give it a few more tries, but don't initiate anything yourself, and don't get too disappointed when it happens again, which it will. Have a cut off point maybe; like, 3 more flakes, then out. You just end up wasting whole evenings waiting around for chicks like this.
This gave me a lot of perspective and an epiphany of sorts.

There's something called intermittent reinforcement. Basically like slot machines.

Sometimes you lose money, it creates anxiety. (Flakes)
Sometimes you win money, it hits your dopamine receptors.
(Date/Sex)

This alternation between stress/disappointment and pleasure/adrenaline is how people get addicted and drained. The house always wins.

I'm happy I got an addition to my notch count. Hit it and quit is the name of the game here.

I'm done with her. Thanks a lot for highlighting this.@TheMonkeyKing
 
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