I Dumped My GF Today On Her Birthday

[Muscle brain]

A woman that earn more than you will never respect you or consider you as a great catch..

 

[wifehunter]

A woman that earn more than you will never respect you or consider you as a great catch..

You mean a "shallow woman" right?

 

[wifehunter]

She stated.. what kind of man dumps his GF on her birthday and leaves her in an apartment in a strange town?

Great, now she can remember the breakup once a year, from now on!

Remember guys, when women behave like feminazis, we walk!

 

[Muscle brain]

You mean a "shallow woman" right?

Indeed

 

[dude99]

The fact that she has bought up money as an issue has really pizzed me off.. i always paid my way the best i could.

It was only on one or two occasions in the 5 months or the six months i was seeing her that she paid for things...

Can't believe how shallow this person really was!

Any respectful lady that is worth your time should pick up the tab from time to time. A woman who doesent ever or holds t against you is a user if she thinks you are her free ride.

 

[soulforge]

I,m feeling that sadness creeping in here.. WTF have i done guys..

She was attractive, good job we could have made a life together.. now its all gone.

I know it had to be done, but still its starting to hurt

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I,m feeling that sadness creeping in here.. WTF have i done guys..

She was attractive, good job we could have made a life together.. now its all gone.

I know it had to be done, but still its starting to hurt

Stop thinking stupid. You did the right thing. That wasn't your woman. She was using you for security while she does what ever the F she wanted to do.

 

[dude99]

I,m feeling that sadness creeping in here.. WTF have i done guys..

She was attractive, good job we could have made a life together.. now its all gone.

I know it had to be done, but still its starting to hurt

Your loneliness is trumping rational thought. You are validating her bad behaviour and bad qualities because of loneliness. Disrespect. Dishonesty and rudeness and different values are not someone you can make a life with no matter how good her job is. Someone who looks down their nose at you doesent deserve your time or effort. Go meet a new lady. You'd be amazed how quickly your sadness for her will subside.

 

[Tictac]

I,m feeling that sadness creeping in here.. WTF have i done guys..

She was attractive, good job we could have made a life together.. now its all gone.

I know it had to be done, but still its starting to hurt

She is a disrespectful drunk.

What's 'all gone?. Her treating you like something to scrape off of her shoe. Boo Hoo.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Your loneliness is trumping rational thought. You are validating her bad behaviour and bad qualities because of loneliness. Disrespect. Dishonesty and rudeness and different values are not someone you can make a life with no matter how good her job is. Someone who looks down their nose at you doesent deserve your time or effort. Go meet a new lady. You'd be amazed how quickly your sadness for her will subside.

Dude, once you get a woman who treats you right you will feel like a KING in comparison. This woman was holding you back in all sorts of ways.

 

[dude99]

Dude, once you get a woman who treats you right you will feel like a KING in comparison. This woman was holding you back in all sorts of ways.

Agreed

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

When you meet a woman deserving of your time and attention, you will never doubt her values. Sure you will have disagreements, but core compatibility values will always be congruent. Nor do you want a women to change her values for you, as it would not be a genuine change and thus she will likely falter in that change down the road.

Congrats. Walking and staying away from a woman who is incongruent with your essence is the hallmark of a DJ. All other thoughts of would be, could be, should be is your body, not YOU, looking for a quick fix to ease the "pain." Withdrawal of anything begins with nastalgia. As long you remain true to yourself, that "emptiness" will slowly transmute to strength, having overcome an old thinking paradigm of the body's machinated "helplessness."

YOU are in control Don Juan. As long as you remain true to YOU, and not your body, you will evolve and realize that your value is directly attributable to what YOU are willing to accept and not accept in your life. As what you are willing to accept is a reflection of YOU.

 

[soulforge]

Its funny how once you develop onitis, hows many obvious red flags you choose to ignore..

 

[soulforge]

When you meet a woman deserving of your time and attention, you will never doubt her values. Sure you will have disagreements, but core compatibility values will always be congruent. Nor do you want a women to change her values for you, as it would not be a genuine change and thus she will likely falter in that change down the road.

Congrats. Walking and staying away from a woman who is incongruent with your essence is the hallmark of a DJ. All other thoughts of would be, could be, should be is your body, not YOU, looking for a quick fix to ease the "pain." Withdrawal of anything begins with nastalgia. As long you remain true to yourself, that "emptiness" will slowly transmute to strength, having overcome an old thinking paradigm of the body's machinated "helplessness."

YOU are in control Don Juan. As long as you remain true to YOU, and not your body, you will evolve and realize that your value is directly attributable to what YOU are willing to accept and not accept in your life. As what you are willing to accept is a reflection of YOU.

Hey man i really appreciate your words there.. means alot and makes allot of sense.

Its true, i need to stay true to my principles!


I imagined we could have a life together.. and there would be an understanding between us, and she wanted the same as me..

Only two weeks ago, she asked me what my expectations are in a relationship, what my do's and dont's are, as she is my GF and she wanted to know.. We was talking about living together so things was getting serious!

I explained to her i'm easy going about most things, the only thing that wouldn't make me happy is, my partner going out to bars regular and getting drunk.

I explained i don't mind the odd night out here or there.. ocassions, birthdays, or a drink with friends.. but going out to bars regular, getting drunk etc, is not a good thing for a healthy relationship in the long run.

And she agreed with me..

After i dumped her.. she left a voice mail stating.. i don't like bieng told where i can go.. WTF

Well i will leave her to it now, she can get smashed in as many bars as she like now.. not my problem anymore!

 

[wifehunter]

Its funny how once you develop onitis, hows many obvious red flags you choose to ignore..

Focus on hobbies and/or acquiring new plates. You need to move on from this, or you will dig yourself into a hole! (Expirience)

 

[Atom Smasher]

I imagined we could have a life together..

There's the magic word. That's what we guys tend to do... we feel the pain of breaking up with what we imagined, not what is real.

On another note, I can't stress enough that a man should NEVER live together with a woman unless married. When things go bad they REALLY go bad when living arrangements and property are involved.

 

[Floydispink01]

Its funny how once you develop onitis, hows many obvious red flags you choose to ignore..

If you've ever had oneitis's in the past, ask yourself how you feel about them now OP? Nothing most likely. The present one will fall into that category eventually.

Some great advice on here by the way.

 

[soulforge]

I just find it strange that we both agreed with the discussion we haf about going out drinking in bars..

But after i dumped her, she leaves a message on my phone.. "I don't like being told where i can go"

Its funny how what they say to us, doesn't actually mean chit..

And i agree, have had oneitis for a few girls in the past.. when i look back now, they don't mean chit to me.

 

[Atom Smasher]

We told you in this thread how women will do and say ANYTHING in order to transfer blame to you. When she agreed, it was expedient for her to do so at the time. Now it is expedient for her to do a complete 180.

Women think and say whatever is most convenient and expedient to them at the time. That's why we always say, never go by her words but only her actions.

If you're looking for a woman who lives by principle you're going to be looking for a long, long time. They expect us to live by principle (when it benefits them) but they literally have no concept of principle in their own world of rainbows and unicorns.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Wow - I read thru this whole thing, and I swear, it reads like a perfect example of a man going through the "7 Stages of Grief/Loss".

For those that don't know what that is: when something bad happens - in this case, a break up - a person will usually go through 7 stages of various emotions before they finally get over it and can move on. You can read full details about each of these stages here - http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html - but I'll summarize:

1. Shock and denial
2. Pain and Guilt
3. Anger and Bargaining
4. Desperation/Reflection/Loneliness
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction/Working Through It
7. Acceptance

Right now, our OP is in phase 4, "Desperation/Reflection/Loneliness" - thus, him expressing how sad he is and looking back over the events over and over again.

What's funny is, OP posted about his problem with this girl clubbing a while back, and my response to that forum was that she doesn't really go out a lot now, so don't make it a big deal 'cause ultimatums don't work and people don't like to feel controlled.

So, of course, he went and did the exact opposite - thus, why she acted out.

The reality is, in terms of how the break-up got started, it stemmed from him trying to get her to stop "going out so much" due to his fear that she MIGHT start acting that way again. And yet, there were NO examples of her going out all the time. So, in terms of her feelings about his request for her not to go out so much, she was in the right, and his own insecurities got the best of him.

With that said, it's accidental happenstance that, by doing that, he got to see her do other actions that weren't becoming of a girlfriend - i.e. telling her friend about any problems they were having, insulting him, not appreciating the money he was spending on her... the whole "clubbing" thing wasn't really a dump-able offense other than it being his preference to date someone that doesn't do that, BUT the other stuff? Definitely grounds for dumping.

Anyway... so yeah: OP is at stage 4 of this grieving process which is normal since he just dumped her last week. It will probably be a few more weeks before he's able to look back and say "why the heck was I so obsessed with that ol' b!tch in the first place??" But for now, just know that, at some point, OP will get over this chick.

In the meantime, I'm getting some more popcorn so I can prepare myself to read more of these responses...