"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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"You're sweet" = bad?

☜╬☞

Don Juan
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Newbie here.

I've been talking to this chick I met on Plenty ov Fish. We have been exchanging 1-2 emails per day for about a week. I know you're not supposed give away compliments just like that but I felt she was entitled to a few after giving me an enormous amount of them. I did not compliment her on looks (I hope that's the right thing to do).

So I told her:

"you're like Jeopardy smart, sense of humor, and you don't weigh 600 pounds; what's the catch?"

She replied (bear with me):

"aha wow, that question is seriously one of the best compliments i've ever gotten! you're incredibly sweet :) lol trust me though, i'm plenty flawed ;) i'm stubborn and argumentative as hell, and oh aha here's a biggie! i decided ta give dating a break for a few years, so i haven't had a boyfriend since i was 13 and i haven't been on a "date" since summer of 2009. unless you count prom...i don't wanna count prom...XP lol no one counts prom right? o_O"


I don't know what to make of it. Any help as to what I should reply or at least what to make of it?


NOTE: I'm used to dating drunk hood rats. I have never encountered any woman I was actually compatible with.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Boxer

Don Juan
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Uhh I'm not really experienced enough to give my thoughts but I'll do it anyway.

You did exactly what you were supposed to do. You lowered her ***** shield. She just confessed not being perfect. Being called sweet is not the end of the world. You don't have to be a "jerk" 24/7.

Goodjob. :up:

But may I ask what you're doing on PoF when you are still in high school?
 

☜╬☞

Don Juan
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Thank you.

I'm still wondering about the boyfriend part she mentioned. Is that a rejection in disguise or is she telling me that she is looking for one?
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
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Also if someone tell you that you are cute or sweet in real life, take it as they just negged you. Look at them seriously and say "I'm not cute." Turn that serious face into a smile afterwards and she usually responds with something along the lines of I'm sorry, you're hot, or something else attractive.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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