"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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"You're sweet" = bad?

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Don Juan
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Newbie here.

I've been talking to this chick I met on Plenty ov Fish. We have been exchanging 1-2 emails per day for about a week. I know you're not supposed give away compliments just like that but I felt she was entitled to a few after giving me an enormous amount of them. I did not compliment her on looks (I hope that's the right thing to do).

So I told her:

"you're like Jeopardy smart, sense of humor, and you don't weigh 600 pounds; what's the catch?"

She replied (bear with me):

"aha wow, that question is seriously one of the best compliments i've ever gotten! you're incredibly sweet :) lol trust me though, i'm plenty flawed ;) i'm stubborn and argumentative as hell, and oh aha here's a biggie! i decided ta give dating a break for a few years, so i haven't had a boyfriend since i was 13 and i haven't been on a "date" since summer of 2009. unless you count prom...i don't wanna count prom...XP lol no one counts prom right? o_O"


I don't know what to make of it. Any help as to what I should reply or at least what to make of it?


NOTE: I'm used to dating drunk hood rats. I have never encountered any woman I was actually compatible with.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Boxer

Don Juan
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Uhh I'm not really experienced enough to give my thoughts but I'll do it anyway.

You did exactly what you were supposed to do. You lowered her ***** shield. She just confessed not being perfect. Being called sweet is not the end of the world. You don't have to be a "jerk" 24/7.

Goodjob. :up:

But may I ask what you're doing on PoF when you are still in high school?
 

☜╬☞

Don Juan
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Thank you.

I'm still wondering about the boyfriend part she mentioned. Is that a rejection in disguise or is she telling me that she is looking for one?
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
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Also if someone tell you that you are cute or sweet in real life, take it as they just negged you. Look at them seriously and say "I'm not cute." Turn that serious face into a smile afterwards and she usually responds with something along the lines of I'm sorry, you're hot, or something else attractive.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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