Your opinion on a coworker

Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
Asked her to grab a bite this weekend after we msgd a bit yesterday, no reply, 's been a day now; she tried to come by my office a few times today but I was always busy. fml
 

andreihaha

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
129
Reaction score
65
Asked her to grab a bite this weekend after we msgd a bit yesterday, no reply, 's been a day now; she tried to come by my office a few times today but I was always busy. fml
You're still not asking her in person, you're asking her via texting?
You are not showing your balls, no wonder she's not interested.
Sorry man, but doing the same thing while expecting a different result is pshycho 101.
 

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
You're still not asking her in person, you're asking her via texting?
You are not showing your balls, no wonder she's not interested.
Sorry man, but doing the same thing while expecting a different result is pshycho 101.
Because I didn’t see her this week, that’s why. Also because when I asked in person the first time, she flaked, but then when I asked via text, she came. So how does that logic apply now?
 

andreihaha

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
129
Reaction score
65
So how does that logic apply now?
Ok, let's take it step by step.
Because I didn’t see her this week, that’s why.
I don't like using the word "desperate", but are you so desperate to see her again that you can't wait a week?
How about waiting until you see her and then you go up to her with a "Hey, last time was fun, wanna go out for a [insert coffee, drink, movie, a$$f*cking] on [insert day]?"
What can go wrong? She can flake, no problem, forget about her.
Also because when I asked in person the first time, she flaked,
Because of low interest/fear.
but then when I asked via text, she came.
She might have been bored and was thinking "Hey, why not"

The point is, women want men. Right?
Why not be a man?
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
Ok, let's take it step by step.

I don't like using the word "desperate", but are you so desperate to see her again that you can't wait a week?
How about waiting until you see her and then you go up to her with a "Hey, last time was fun, wanna go out for a [insert coffee, drink, movie, a$$f*cking] on [insert day]?"
What can go wrong? She can flake, no problem, forget about her.

Because of low interest/fear.

She might have been bored and was thinking "Hey, why not"

The point is, women want men. Right?
Why not be a man?
It's just becoming too frustrating at this point, I'll let her reach out and otherwise move on. It's just super weird behaviour from her side, when we're texting fine, and then I ask if she wants to join me for a meal, and nothing - and then the very next day she tries to come to my office like 3 times, but I was busy, always waving and smiling. What kind of fvcked up behaviour is that? And still no reply, will be two days later.
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
580
Reaction score
373
Location
Southeast USA
You're still not asking her in person, you're asking her via texting?
You are not showing your balls, no wonder she's not interested.
Sorry man, but doing the same thing while expecting a different result is pshycho 101.
He's also creating a cyber trail, for when she names him in her retaliatory sexual harassment suit against the company, when she gets fired for pilfering office supplies.
 

andreihaha

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
129
Reaction score
65
It's just becoming too frustrating at this point, I'll let her reach out and otherwise move on. It's just super weird behaviour from her side, when we're texting fine, and then I ask if she wants to join me for a meal, and nothing - and then the very next day she tries to come to my office like 3 times, but I was busy, always waving and smiling. What kind of fvcked up behaviour is that? And still no reply, will be two days later.
It's women behaviour ;)
I woudn't let her reach out, i'll forget about her. Period.
You know deep down that you don't desire her any more, that she can't offer you much.
You're still chasing her because of your ego. Which is blurring your perception. Snap out of it, be smart, my man!
 

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
Yeah she says she would maybe come, so screw that, I just said “maybe some other time then” and I’ll stop contacting her all together; I’ll only respond if she brings up the two of us getting together. Cheers fellas
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
580
Reaction score
373
Location
Southeast USA
Yeah she says she would maybe come, so screw that, I just said “maybe some other time then” and I’ll stop contacting her all together; I’ll only respond if she brings up the two of us getting together. Cheers fellas
First of all, don't respond by telling me "how difficult things are, today," and how what I'm about to say was so easy, back in the stone age....because, i was one of only two guys(and the other guy did it better) I knew(and I knew EVERYBODY) who dated like i did.

You're fishing with a speargun, when you should be fishing with a net.

One-at-a-time-itis is just another form of One-itis. Some guys will tell you to target/stalk the girl you want the most, until you get her, and then next her. Hey, if that actually works for THEM, then more power to them, but that's about as inefficient and idealistic a dating system as I can imagine, and I'd be damned if I'd ever do or recommend that. Of course, they'll protest that they're actually pursuing several of the most desirable women in their spheres, simultaneously, but...they're still pursuing, which sounds too much like a full-time job, to me(which may be why so many PUAs don't have time for anything else).

How about just lobbing your balls into so many courts that you couldn't possibly return every volley that comes your way, even if you wanted to. "But, what if a fugly chick calls me, ShePays? What about THAT, huh?" Are you giving your phone number to fugly chicks or posting flyers in homeless shelters? Presumably, you're only giving you're phone number to cute girls that you'd actually be seen in broad daylight with, right? You just need to start meeting so many girls that the cute girls at work no longer seem like attractive options.

"But' WHERE?!" you say. Every-fvcking-where....everywhere but the bars, unless you're just desperate. You might be thinking that you'd have to give your phone number to 1,000 girls before one would call you, but that depends on YOU.

What's you typical MO with girls, anyway? Do you call girls who don't call you back? You shouldn't. If you call her once, and she never calls back, that should be the end of it. You should completely forget about her, and not in a "Forget HER!" butt-hurt way, either. If you run into her out someplace, there shouldn't be any weirdness on your part. You shouldn't even mention your unreturned call. If she brings it up -- e.g., "I've been meaning to call you back..." -- you should totally play it off like it's nothing, because it is. It isn't like she left you at the altar, or stole your mother's silver tea service. If she did either of those two things, then yeah, treat her like the sh!t she is; otherwise, be unphased by her discourtesy.

I used to mention to women, all the time that "we should do [this or that], sometime," if she mentioned an interest in any activity I mentioned, in passing, that I was engaged in, and then it would completely slip my mind, only to have her, sometime later, remind me, "Hey, when are we going to do [this or that]?" or "I thought we were going to [this or that]." If you're a fun guy who's busy doing fun stuff, and they're interested in spending time alone with you, they'll drop hints, ask you out, or remind you of your prior "promises/invitations."

You should never be in a position to have to pursue an office girl, like this. All it takes is one bad date to make things permanently awkward at work. Even if she's aggressively pursuing YOU, it can still blow up in your face. Trust me.
 
Last edited:
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
Well, due to my nature (personality), I never actively pursue more than one girl at a time, as my time is limited and so is my energy; however, I do always talk to at least several and line up dates for the future with them. The main problem I have is I live in Germany, where people are very closed off and any attempt to talk to a girl is met with "nein danke, go avey" kind of attitude. Any US guy that's tried to pick up girls here will confirm this. Apart from that and contrary to popular belief, a LOT of young people don't speak English here, so combination of those two things just makes me stick to my own business. And even if I didn't, women never approach me in public anyways. OD is an option, but I get so few matches (I don't wanna waste time or money on women I'm not attracted to) that's it's essentially non-existent for me.
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
580
Reaction score
373
Location
Southeast USA
Well, due to my nature (personality), I never actively pursue more than one girl at a time, as my time is limited and so is my energy; however, I do always talk to at least several and line up dates for the future with them. The main problem I have is I live in Germany, where people are very closed off and any attempt to talk to a girl is met with "nein danke, go avey" kind of attitude. Any US guy that's tried to pick up girls here will confirm this. Apart from that and contrary to popular belief, a LOT of young people don't speak English here, so combination of those two things just makes me stick to my own business. And even if I didn't, women never approach me in public anyways. OD is an option, but I get so few matches (I don't wanna waste time or money on women I'm not attracted to) that's it's essentially non-existent for me.
Have you considered learning German? A couple of my kids taught themselves, and we don't even live in Germany. They became pretty fluent, pretty quickly. Native speakers are impressed. I don't speak German, but I've considered taking it up. It's a handy language to have in business, especially if you do business with Germany, especially if you LIVE in Germany. There really is no excuse for you not to learn the local language. Plus, is might improve your dating options outside the secretarial pool, and it's even rated by DLI as one of the easier languages to learn.
 

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
Have you considered learning German? A couple of my kids taught themselves, and we don't even live in Germany. They became pretty fluent, pretty quickly. Native speakers are impressed. I don't speak German, but I've considered taking it up. It's a handy language to have in business, especially if you do business with Germany, especially if you LIVE in Germany. There really is no excuse for you not to learn the local language. Plus, is might improve your dating options outside the secretarial pool, and it's even rated by DLI as one of the easier languages to learn.
I do speak enough to get by, but I'm not comfortable speaking with native Germans, because as soon as they hear I speak it, they go full-on native mode and then it gets frustrating as I can't keep up, and I can't just switch back to English mid-conversation, especially if they don't speak it.
 
Last edited:

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
580
Reaction score
373
Location
Southeast USA
Well, due to my nature (personality), I never actively pursue more than one girl at a time, as my time is limited and so is my energy; however, I do always talk to at least several and line up dates for the future with them. The main problem I have is I live in Germany, where people are very closed off and any attempt to talk to a girl is met with "nein danke, go avey" kind of attitude. Any US guy that's tried to pick up girls here will confirm this. Apart from that and contrary to popular belief, a LOT of young people don't speak English here, so combination of those two things just makes me stick to my own business. And even if I didn't, women never approach me in public anyways. OD is an option, but I get so few matches (I don't wanna waste time or money on women I'm not attracted to) that's it's essentially non-existent for me.
And, again, it isn't about pursuing anyone. Becoming highly socially competent will have the dual benefit of substantially enhancing your prospects for stratospheric career advancement and making you much more attractive to women. Focus on the former, and just let the latter naturally arise from that progress. FWIW, I've never known a top-notch salesman who wasn't highly competent with women. Top-tier sales performance requires a salesman to become a world-class influencer, to be able to make friends quickly, with people he's never met, and to overcome resistance, and lead powerful people to make snap decisions, in the salesman's interest. In fact, a substantial portion of the Fortune 500 CEOs rose out of the sales department, for that vary reason.

I'm not telling you to change careers, only that learning the skills that will help advance your current one will bleed over into every area of your life, including your love life. I'm sure your company has a marketing department. Find out who the top salesmen are, and make some new friends. I bet the salesmen sprechen sie Deutsch quite well, which will give you bi-lingual friends with whom to practice.
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
580
Reaction score
373
Location
Southeast USA
I do speak enough to get by, but I'm not comfortable speaking with native Germans, because as soon as they hear I speak it, they go full-on native mode and then it gets frustrating as I can't keep up, and I can't just switch back to English mid-conversation, especially if they don't speak it.
Don't take this the wrong way, but what this tells me is that you have been previously unwilling to do what's necessary to enhance your appeal, to either your employer or to your host nation. Learning just enough German to start a conversation, but not enough to complete one successfully....does this sound even a little familiar, regarding your performance with women?

Look. If you can admit that you've been wanting results greater than the effort you've been willing to invest in developing the skills that will EARN the results you don't want badly enough to make the necessary investment, then you will be making true progress. A rabbit's contentment with just getting by, with merely escaping being eaten by something bigger, meaner, and hungrier is why rabbits will never be at the top of the food chain. Do what's necessary to get closer to the top of YOUR food chain, and i bet you'll notice improvements in every area of your life.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
After putting her on a backburner and not initiating any contact, she started reaching out again, and said she was available this weekend, if we should ask the other coworker to hang out as well. I can't make it this weekend, so I told her that and asked what about next week, and she said she won't have time then, so that was it. I'm continuing to not spend any energy on this one or initiating contact, until she suggests just the two of us getting together for a time that works for both of us.
 

andreihaha

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
129
Reaction score
65
After putting her on a backburner and not initiating any contact, she started reaching out again, and said she was available this weekend, if we should ask the other coworker to hang out as well. I can't make it this weekend, so I told her that and asked what about next week, and she said she won't have time then, so that was it. I'm continuing to not spend any energy on this one or initiating contact, until she suggests just the two of us getting together for a time that works for both of us.
If Brad Pitt would ask her how much time she has next week, what do you think she'd say?
My suggestion: forget about her, low interest. If I were you, she'd be invisible right now. Not "continuing to not spend any energy on this one or initiating contact ". No. She's the old ugly lady in accounting, even if she throws herself at you, you're not interested.
 

user252009

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2019
Messages
42
Reaction score
5
Age
34
If Brad Pitt would ask her how much time she has next week, what do you think she'd say?
My suggestion: forget about her, low interest. If I were you, she'd be invisible right now. Not "continuing to not spend any energy on this one or initiating contact ". No. She's the old ugly lady in accounting, even if she throws herself at you, you're not interested.
Nah, she's gorgeous and awesome, but I'm past the point of playing games, so if she wants to meet with me, she'll have to set a definite date with just the two of us, otherwise I can't be bothered
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
580
Reaction score
373
Location
Southeast USA
Nah, she's gorgeous and awesome, but I'm past the point of playing games, so if she wants to meet with me, she'll have to set a definite date with just the two of us, otherwise I can't be bothered
Actually what you were doing right now is playing games. You are playing the waiting game, young man. What the other guy suggested you do is to stop playing games. Move on.
 

andreihaha

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
129
Reaction score
65
Nah, she's gorgeous and awesome, but I'm past the point of playing games, so if she wants to meet with me, she'll have to set a definite date with just the two of us, otherwise I can't be bothered
I'm not saying she's ugly. Just that you should perceive her as unattractive. That's how she is to you, at least from an objective point of view.
Your ego is just kinda blinding you, you feel that if you'll have her your value will rise. But it's not like that, your hapiness is what matters more. There are girls out there that would appreciate you, maybe they'd kill for a guy like you(maybe:p).
I got hot chicks in my office, but I'd never cross that line, i just see them like they are sisters or girls I put in the friendzone. Maybe I get drunk at an office party and think "Hey, I could hit that", but then I sober up.

Actually what you were doing right now is playing games. You are playing the waiting game, young man. What the other guy suggested you do is to stop playing games. Move on.
Exactly!
 
Top