Your opinion on a coworker

user252009

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Since I stopped initiating contact with her, she's been texting me every day and coming to talk to me at work. I just politely reply and never bring up getting together. Still interesting to see
 
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stringpuller

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Since I stopped initiating contact with her, she's been texting me every day and coming to talk to me at work. I just politely reply and never bring up getting together. Still interesting to see
Sexualize it.
 

dude99

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What's your policy for dealing with women who end up bringing a third party to a date? I had a girl try to pull that crap once.

Would you say that if they do something like that, they're definitely not interested?

And would you just roll with it then isolate/escalate with her later? I'm curious how other people handle this.
When a girl brings a third party to a meeting she is telling you she does not desire you. She is teetering on low to no interest. She is deliberately is bringing an obstacle to a date. That doesn't scream interest now does it. If she desires you she would want you all to herself. Bringing a 3rd wheel is making sure you two are never alone.

I had a girl do this and this is how you handle it. Pay all your attention to the girl she brought. Flirt with her make her laugh. Make her know she the important one. Ask her for her number right in front of the girl who brought her. She will ask something along the lines of "dont you like so and so?" And this is where you drop it on her. "No we are just friends."
Let the first girl know she blew it by putting her into the friendzone. You will trigger her competitive switch and she will realize in order for anything to happen she must now chase you. I did this and not only did i get the third parties number, i took her home that night and the original girl chased me for months.

One chance per lifetime. She blew hers.
 

dude99

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Well, the signs so far have been:
- her constantly popping by my office
- giggling at almost anything I say
- surprising me for birthday and baking me something
- looking me up and following me on social media
- initiating contact
- playful physical contact
You validate her.
 
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user252009

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You validate her.
Yeah well, I completely stopped initiating contact and she's orbiting af, texting me every day as well, even though I never text her first. Unfortunately I can't ignore her as we work together.
 

dude99

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Yeah well, I completely stopped initiating contact and she's orbiting af, texting me every day as well, even though I never text her first. Unfortunately I can't ignore her as we work together.
You can ignore her. Discuss work related stuff only. Anything else doesnt get a reply. Even at work, you just walk away
 

andreihaha

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You can ignore her. Discuss work related stuff only. Anything else doesnt get a reply. Even at work, you just walk away
Yep.
Giving the impression that you're having sex with someone else also helps.
Giving the impression that you're having sex with someone else while actually having sex with someone else really really helps.
Helps in giving no fk about her, of course.
 

dude99

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Yep.
Giving the impression that you're having sex with someone else also helps.
Giving the impression that you're having sex with someone else while actually having sex with someone else really really helps.
Helps in giving no fk about her, of course.
Exactly. Just go date other women
 

stormrider

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Hi guys,

Good to be on board, thanks for having me. I’ve been following some online coaching YouTube channels for some time and have learned quite a lot, but still struggling a bit with women, the question below is for a specific one. This girl is a new coworker of mine, and we see each other daily, and when we don’t, we’ll shoot a few DMs over IG - she found me there and regularly follows my posts and reacts to my stories. We’re in different departments and we don’t report to each other or are each other supervisors, so no problem there, even the work policies are OK with it. There’s been a spark since we’ve met, she also knew when my birthday was (I told her once), so her and another coworker surprised me with some goodies; when her birthday came, I surprised her back with a nice gesture, she said that it totally made her birthday and told everyone about it.

Apart from hanging out after work with other coworkers on two occasions, I asked her out for a drink or something two times, and she couldn’t make it once because she was slammed with work (didn’t offer alternative then), and second time she was sick (for a fact, I saw that the next day), and this time she mentioned that we could get together this week, but she didn’t offer a specific day, so I just told her to let me know if she wants to get together and left it at that. She also mentioned that we should ask the other coworker to hang out as well, so that’s the confusing / weird part. Why would she want to have another female coworker there? Other than that, the signs of attractions are very much there, we broke the touch barrier, she always giggles, etc.

What’s your take on this? My current approach is not to initiate contact, but always reply and act as if nothing changed in person, still being charming and flirty, but not pursuing and definitely not asking her out again until she mentions it first.
In order to engage in romance, you must first understand what constitutes as romance.

True romance is two people feeding equal energy into the romantic bubble. This is the organic chemistry behind romance. There is an actual chemistry to it. Like h20. The chemistry to romance is you cannot reward her with attention unless she makes a WORTHY effort to seduce you. This is the equation to romance. Learn it. Memorize it. Post it on your wall.

This is a universal law of value. Ignore it to your own peril. This is something that can easily be observed and even tested, just like ALL universal laws.

Now let’s see what happens when you break this law. Let’s say you reward her with your attention when she hasn’t made any efforts to charm you. What’s going to happen? She’s going to look at you like you have no standards and think of you as low value.

But forget her for a second. Your own body will reject it and make you feel like a low value piece of sh1t for giving your attention/validation away for free.

Every guy is born with this internal compass. It tells you to only give value to people who value you.

Why does your internal compass tell you this? Because your internal compass is operating from the principle of self love. You must love yourself before anything. Anything that goes against this and negative emotions will be released.

A lot of guys actually ignore this internal compass and it’s the reason why they get chucked/strung along for attention.

What if I were to tell you that if I was in your shoes, I would never get stringpulled like this? When your internal compass is intact, women can recognize it right away from your vibe/presence.

OP I have a feeling this is not the first time you’ve been stringpulled. If anything, you probably have an imprint that she picked up on unconsciously.

And you are okay with it. You are just happy with her pseudo affections. It’s because deep down inside, you don’t love yourself enough to put yourself above her.

And she knows it too. She can never be attracted to you. She can never truly admire to you. Best to cut your losses.

And with the next woman, make sure your internal compass is intact. She must make an effort to charm/seduce you before you can reward her with your attention. That’s her feminine role.

At the first sign of her pulling back, you kick her to the curb out of self respect. Do this enough times and your internal compass will be revived. And then true romance would be possible because your imprint would have changed on a subconcious level.

It is only when you love yourself first and foremost can romance even be possible.
 
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user252009

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You can ignore her. Discuss work related stuff only. Anything else doesnt get a reply. Even at work, you just walk away
Tried it for a week, didn't work, I ended up feeling like an a$$hole and in a bad mood, as she's always very friendly; it's just not who I am.
 
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dude99

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Tried it for a week, didn't work, I ended up feeling like an a$$hole and in a bad mood, as she's always very friendly; it's just not who I am.
Im not saying you have to be an a$$hole or even feel like one. You just treat her as any other co worker. She is nothing special. Be completely indfferent to her. Discuss work. Do your job. Carry on with your day.

Stop wasting time and thoughts on this one. Go date other women.
 

user252009

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Im not saying you have to be an a$$hole or even feel like one. You just treat her as any other co worker. She is nothing special. Be completely indfferent to her. Discuss work. Do your job. Carry on with your day.
Yeah, except she asked me for my number and is now texting me almost every day, often in late hours. Any tips on how to let this go down that doesn't end up with anything weird?
 

dude99

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Yeah, except she asked me for my number and is now texting me almost every day, often in late hours. Any tips on how to let this go down that doesn't end up with anything weird?
Ignore. Delete. Then give your attention to someone worthy of it.
 
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andreihaha

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Yeah, except she asked me for my number and is now texting me almost every day, often in late hours. Any tips on how to let this go down that doesn't end up with anything weird?
Yeah, stop answering.
You don't have to answer to anyone about what you do in your free time. Specially not this one.
If you're not seeing other women(like most of us advised you to), at least act like it.
Every time you respond to her texts at night she knows you're not doing anything better with your time. Get it? And she will perceive you as lower and lower value.
Just try this once, ok?
Next night she texts you, ignore it. Let the message hang there. I guarantee she will ask you about it. If not, do it 2nights in a row.
It will drive you mad and she WILL ask you. You casually say "I was on sort of a date" or something.
Pretty easy, right? Are you able to do this? It's a level 1 quest.
 

user252009

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Yeah, stop answering.
You don't have to answer to anyone about what you do in your free time. Specially not this one.
If you're not seeing other women(like most of us advised you to), at least act like it.
Every time you respond to her texts at night she knows you're not doing anything better with your time. Get it? And she will perceive you as lower and lower value.
Just try this once, ok?
Next night she texts you, ignore it. Let the message hang there. I guarantee she will ask you about it. If not, do it 2nights in a row.
It will drive you mad and she WILL ask you. You casually say "I was on sort of a date" or something.
Pretty easy, right? Are you able to do this? It's a level 1 quest.
I don't reply at night, but some time next day, and I keep my replies short. I'll ignore it next time. I just know that she's gonna approach me at work and ask what's wrong, and I can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Ugh, women.
 

dude99

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I don't reply at night, but some time next day, and I keep my replies short. I'll ignore it next time. I just know that she's gonna approach me at work and ask what's wrong, and I can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Ugh, women.
Her " hey how come you dont answer my texts until the next day?"
You " sorry was busy. Didn't want to be rude and interupt my date. how are you making out with (switch to a work related topic only here )

That is how.
 

andreihaha

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Her " hey how come you dont answer my texts until the next day?"
You " sorry was busy. Didn't want to be rude and interupt my date. how are you making out with (switch to a work related topic only here )

That is how.
Yeah, pretty much something like this.
I don't reply at night, but some time next day, and I keep my replies short. I'll ignore it next time. I just know that she's gonna approach me at work and ask what's wrong, and I can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Ugh, women.
Actually, Ugh, you!
Because YOU can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Right? You said so.
Acting like nothing's wrong(which is true BTW) would be golden in this situation.
And yes you can. You are too nice. Don't you hate that word, "nice"?
 

user252009

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Yeah, pretty much something like this.

Actually, Ugh, you!
Because YOU can't act like nothing's wrong in those situations. Right? You said so.
Acting like nothing's wrong(which is true BTW) would be golden in this situation.
And yes you can. You are too nice. Don't you hate that word, "nice"?
It's who I am by nature, I can't suddenly change that and become a person that doesn't care anymore. At least not for a prolonged period of time, as it'll wear me out not being myself.
 
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