"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Your father will make your life

SW15

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One thing I'm going to disagree on is the idea that attending the same school system your whole K-12 career helps. In a way, that can hinder you (as if you don't get branded as one of the cool kids, it becomes social suicide for a girl to get with you)

I attended the same district my whole K-12 career. Changing school districts obviously comes with its own challenges (even if I don't know firsthand). I'm not saying changing school districts makes it any easier. All I'm saying is staying in the same district doesn't necessarily benefit a guy in terms of getting cooch.
In the most general terms, male children who relocate geographies more and/or change schools more between K-12 tend to have worse sexual outcomes. Parental decisions impact this and this thread is about fathers making lives. A father can be a factor in childhood relocations and/or K-12 school changes.

When I write about things, I try to write about the middle of the bell curve type men. @GoodMan32 -- you might find it difficult to relate to much of this because socially you were not middle of the bell curve. While on looks you might have been middle of the bell curve, the personality attributes variable has made you lower tier/outlier. Many things you discuss on this forum are outlier.

It is true that someone in the same school district throughout childhood who is socially maladaptive (as you were) is going to struggle. A social misfit is going to struggle regardless of K-12 in the same area or with relocations.

When a mid-tier, middle of the bell curve male child experiences relocation during the K-12 years, it increases the probability he'll get bullied in a new school for being the new kid. That's the kind of thing that can set a boy back a long way and devastate his self esteem. Multiple relocations and multiple school changes weaken social circles. Weaker social circles make it more difficult to get cooch.

There are plenty of males out there that are able to have sex because of being agreeable, mid-tier guys with few relocations in life. They got LTRs from their social circles.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Manure Spherian

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And yes, it is true that for some men, their fathers actually did make their lives. I know Orthodox Jewish men who inherited highly-lucrative businesses from their fathers and had wives provided to them via semi-arranged marriage (matchmaker dating until a wife was gotten). Some have up to seven children. That means some unfashionable, nerdy Jewish guys wearing sweaty dress wear, who never stepped into a gym, gets more vagina, has far more friends, more money, more popularity, more fun, and more peace in his life, than an atomized, frustrated, gymmaxxing, self-improvementmaxxing, careermaxxing, app-swiping, best-versionmaxxing average American male. Haha! Same goes for the Pakistani men living in an enclave in a building across the street from my old job, wearing sandals (with cracked, dry-skinned feet exposed), funny clothing, and orange-dyed beards.

Family game is something you have or you don't.
 
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Manure Spherian

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Listen at the 16:47 mark for the brutal stats.

Nearly all of the prison population is fatherless.

Female headed households make up the majority of child-abuse cases. Some poster here suggested we have a fatherless society in which bastards are raised by the state and mothers. Society would f-cking crumble in short order and all slums in the USA are examples of this, where there are almost no fathers. This suggests that state functionaries should raise our children. We'd have millions upon millions of future criminals, sexually confused people, drug addicts, hookers, mentally-ill, and otherwise anti-social people.
 

GoodMan32

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In the most general terms, male children who relocate geographies more and/or change schools more between K-12 tend to have worse sexual outcomes. Parental decisions impact this and this thread is about fathers making lives. A father can be a factor in childhood relocations and/or K-12 school changes.

When I write about things, I try to write about the middle of the bell curve type men. @GoodMan32 -- you might find it difficult to relate to much of this because socially you were not middle of the bell curve. While on looks you might have been middle of the bell curve, the personality attributes variable has made you lower tier/outlier. Many things you discuss on this forum are outlier.

It is true that someone in the same school district throughout childhood who is socially maladaptive (as you were) is going to struggle. A social misfit is going to struggle regardless of K-12 in the same area or with relocations.

When a mid-tier, middle of the bell curve male child experiences relocation during the K-12 years, it increases the probability he'll get bullied in a new school for being the new kid. That's the kind of thing that can set a boy back a long way and devastate his self esteem. Multiple relocations and multiple school changes weaken social circles. Weaker social circles make it more difficult to get cooch.

There are plenty of males out there that are able to have sex because of being agreeable, mid-tier guys with few relocations in life. They got LTRs from their social circles.
Understood (about how I'm an outlier)

You're right when you say fathers typically play a role in why a kid relocates (whether it be because the dad got a job elsewhere, or because the dad is totally absent...thus relegating the mom to an impoverished single mom without a steady permanent address)

Come to think of it, middle of the bell curve type guys who had relocated to my high school tended to struggle with the girls (even if they weren't branded the freaky creep like me). You make a good point.

Being the new kid didn't hold girls back nearly as much. I recall male students being totally infatuated with new girls.

Agreed I (in all likelihood) would have struggled socially no matter where I was raised. My K-12 school district was pretty homogeneous (90+% White the whole time I was there). Had I, for example, gone to a K-12 school district where I was a minority, I would have been bullied even worse (because in addition to being small and socially awkward, I'd also be a hated minority). But I suppose it's possible I might have at least gotten a girlfriend if I attended a predominantly Hispanic high school (I say that because, as an adult, I've had decent luck with Latinas whose English isn't all there, as that means they fail to catch some of my socially awkward comments)
 
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GoodMan32

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And yes, it is true that for some men, their fathers actually did make their lives. I know Orthodox Jewish men who inherited highly-lucrative businesses from their fathers and had wives provided to them via semi-arranged marriage (matchmaker dating until a wife was gotten). Some have up to seven children. That means some unfashionable, nerdy Jewish guys wearing sweaty dress wear, who never stepped into a gym, gets more vagina, has far more friends, more money, more popularity, more fun, and more peace in his life, than an atomized, frustrated, gymmaxxing, self-improvementmaxxing, careermaxxing, app-swiping, best-versionmaxxing average American male. Haha! Same goes for the Pakistani men living in an enclave in a building across the street from my old job, wearing sandals (with cracked, dry-skinned), funny clothing, and orange-dyed beards.

Family game is something you have or you don't.
Then I must really be a loser. Wealthy father, yet I still have a hard time getting a woman (and have hardly any social life)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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GoodMan32

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Listen at the 16:47 mark for the brutal stats.

Nearly all of the prison population is fatherless.

Female headed households make up the majority of child-abuse cases. Some poster here suggested we have a fatherless society in which bastards are raised by the state and mothers. Society would f-cking crumble in short order and all slums in the USA are examples of this, where there are almost no fathers. This suggests that state functionaries should raise our children. We'd have millions upon millions of future criminals, sexually confused people, drug addicts, hookers, mentally-ill, and otherwise anti-social people.
It's true that a lot of inmates are fatherless.

Interestingly, however, criminals largely have no difficulty getting a woman. Hell, many partake in conjugal visits.
 

Manure Spherian

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It's true that a lot of inmates are fatherless.

Interestingly, however, criminals largely have no difficulty getting a woman. Hell, many partake in conjugal visits.
Jailbirds are not womanless. And every drug dealer I've met and known of was never womanless. Hence I don't absolutely push best-versionmaxxing, STEMmaxxing, GDPmaxxing and ****-togethermaxxing, especially for young men.

Yes, set your career up. Yes, design your life. But don't f-cking lock yourself in a room from Friday until Sunday night studying so you can get an A on a test instead of an A- or B+.
 

Manure Spherian

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Then I must really be a loser. Wealthy father, yet I still have a hard time getting a woman (and have hardly any social life)
You're implying you have other issues holding you back.
 

Manure Spherian

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In the most general terms, male children who relocate geographies more and/or change schools more between K-12 tend to have worse sexual outcomes.
Yes, frequent moving is a risk factor for incelpdom. So are female-headed homes (although I've seen some men become gynocentric later on because of the Stockholm Syndrome that results), ordinariness, mental problems, and atomization.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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GoodMan32

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Yes, frequent moving is a risk factor for incelpdom. So are female-headed homes (although I've seen some men become gynocentric later on because of the Stockholm Syndrome that results), ordinariness, mental problems, and atomization.
Female-headed homes are hit or miss (in terms of your risk of becoming an incel).

While many men who were raised in female-headed homes become incels/borderline incels, the jailbird post you recently made shows that there are plenty of fatherless men slaying it with the ladies.

Interestingly, the coworkers I associate with the most tend to be much older female coworkers. I wonder if that could be somewhat of a Stockholm Syndrome (as my mom belittled me a lot in my younger days)
 

Manure Spherian

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Right, I totally do. Then again, it sounds like the Pakistani and Jewish men you mentioned from wealthy families have issues too, yet they get cooch.
They have less social problems than white Americans and seem as happy as pigs in sh-t.
 

Manure Spherian

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Female-headed homes are hit or miss (in terms of your risk of becoming an incel).
It can go either way. I grew up in such a home. My brother turned to criminality.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Anders Breivek and Charles Whitman dictate that this isn't entirely true
FFS Charles Whitman hasn't been in the news since way before you were born. 99/100 people have no idea who that person is.

Does this even occur to you? Damn son.
 

Plinco

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I have come to understand the root of my unhealthy behaviors and what has hindered my growth. I realized that I could never consider myself a mature man because a flower was born within me, yet it never blossomed.

At 26, I can say with certainty that I have not had a father figure worthy of the name. My father has always related to me in ways that I do not find constructive. I have observed healthy families and how parents nurture their children like flowers that need watering. While I can work to improve relationships within my family, I cannot change others.

For my own well-being and future, I need to address some fundamental questions:

- How can I maintain my relationship with my father without being negatively influenced?**
- Can I learn from the positive father figures I have encountered?
- How will the absence of fatherly guidance impact my life also after 26 years?

When I see children facing the harsh realities of life, I see reflections of myself. I also observe children who grow up in nurturing environments, encouraged to have meaningful experiences and learn essential values. They confront difficulties with greater resilience, while others may feel overwhelmed.

I wish I had someone to care for me—a strong father who could teach me about life step by step. Instead, I find myself here without a solid guide. The difference is stark and weighs heavily on my heart.
What are your long term goals?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SW15

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In the most general terms, male children who relocate geographies more and/or change schools more between K-12 tend to have worse sexual outcomes.
middle of the bell curve type guys who had relocated to my high school tended to struggle with the girls. You make a good point.
It is a typical outcome for a middle of the bell curve guy who relocates while in high school to struggle with women.

That guy will be entering college with a weak foundation from high school to build on. That won't help in college.

These are difficulties that can be overcome but it would take massive game study and possibly even some psychotherapy based on high school/college trauma in order to overcome it.

The more moves/school changes between K-12, the likely worse outcomes. Parents relocating children during the K-12 years is more likely to damage them and can cause life long effects.

frequent moving is a risk factor for inceldom.
Yes, frequent moving is a risk factor for inceldom. There are some frequent movers who can succeed in the sexual marketplace, but it makes things more challenging. Both childhood and adulthood relocations can affect sexual marketplace outcomes for an individual male. I tend to think childhood ones have greater impact and greater potential for long term effect.

Males who have relocated on multiple occasions often have weaker social circles. That would make him more reliant upon tech-based methods and cold approach. The use of both tech-based methods and cold approach makes things more difficult. A mid-tier guy on a swipe app is often having subpar outcomes. Below is an example of a guy who swiped on 16,000 women on Tinder in his area, got 3 sexless first dates, and got nothing out of it. This guy achieved this as a 6'3" male. There is a good chance he's relocated a few times in life.

 

GoodMan32

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It is a typical outcome for a middle of the bell curve guy who relocates while in high school to struggle with women.

That guy will be entering college with a weak foundation from high school to build on. That won't help in college.

These are difficulties that can be overcome but it would take massive game study and possibly even some psychotherapy based on high school/college trauma in order to overcome it.

The more moves/school changes between K-12, the likely worse outcomes. Parents relocating children during the K-12 years is more likely to damage them and can cause life long effects.



Yes, frequent moving is a risk factor for inceldom. There are some frequent movers who can succeed in the sexual marketplace, but it makes things more challenging. Both childhood and adulthood relocations can affect sexual marketplace outcomes for an individual male. I tend to think childhood ones have greater impact and greater potential for long term effect.

Males who have relocated on multiple occasions often have weaker social circles. That would make him more reliant upon tech-based methods and cold approach. The use of both tech-based methods and cold approach makes things more difficult. A mid-tier guy on a swipe app is often having subpar outcomes. Below is an example of a guy who swiped on 16,000 women on Tinder in his area, got 3 sexless first dates, and got nothing out of it. This guy achieved this as a 6'3" male. There is a good chance he's relocated a few times in life.

As for the example you shared, I don't get it. You'd think simply being 6'3" (and having decent looks) would help him, even if he's relocated.
 

Bigpapa

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My brother isn't a "loser" in the same sense as me by the way. He makes 6 figures.
Having just a 6 figure income in a big city in America is basically the average salary there

In addition to this, being good with girls is not something that parents can teach

The parents role is to give their children the enough “capital” to not have any drawbacks due to lack of it not to babysit them

you should be more thankful and take full responsibility for the situation that you had

once you realize this, it sounds like you should be on the right track :)
 

GoodMan32

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Having just a 6 figure income in a big city in America is basically the average salary there

In addition to this, being good with girls is not something that parents can teach

The parents role is to give their children the enough “capital” to not have any drawbacks due to lack of it not to babysit them

you should be more thankful and take full responsibility for the situation that you had

once you realize this, it sounds like you should be on the right track :)
My brother isn't in a big city. He lives in a suburb of a small city.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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