Your father will make your life

[Manure Spherian]

I want a smash-piece who genuinely desires me (the genuine desire part is one thing you don't get from prostitutes). Also, a smash-piece doesn't charge you for sex.

You're right, attending boring events is part of raising kids. There's a reason I don't have kids (many reasons for that matter)

Do you want companionship and recreational activity with this smash piece too? Or do you just want a woman who actually just meets you for sex?

 

[BaronOfHair]

What do you want then? You don’t want a girlfriend (clown marriage), you don’t want a wife, yet you say you have major issues keeping you from being a Mac Daddy. You also want no accountability for attending boring events (part of adult life, especially raising kids)

This is what The Manosphere hath begot, whatever good intentions it began with: Several million men paralyzed by confused, contradictory thoughts on just about everything

 

[GoodMan32]

Most men choose extended relationships because it is the easiest way for most men to get regular sex.

Many good player/pickup artist types have extended periods without sex. Notice I said the word good. More mediocre to subpar player/pickup artists have even longer droughts. That tends to weed them out of the lifestyle and into some monogamous relationship.

After a certain amount of time, frequency of sex will drop. The man will get dissatisfied in the relationship. If he's married, he will realize that he's trapped because he'd likely lose some financial assets in divorce court. He is also likely to lose time with his children if he has any.



That can happen to men after a divorce.

Unmarried, childless men 30+ can also be forced back into a home of a parent(s) due to job loss.

I'm a subpar player and I have low tolerance for the nonsense that comes with a relationship. Perhaps that's why I'm on a 3 and a half year drought from free sex.

As for men moving back home after a job loss, there's a reason it tends to only happen to men. A woman could always find a guy willing to take her in as long as she pays the rent with her cooch.

 

[GoodMan32]

Do you want companionship and recreational activity with this smash piece too? Or do you just want a woman who actually just meets you for sex?

I'd be fine with companionship/recreation. I just don't want the commitment that comes with an all-out relationship (for example, a smash-piece is far more likely than a girlfriend/wife to take no for an answer if I don't want to attend a certain event)

It would be nice to travel/attend concerts/go to dining establishments with a smash-piece.

 

[plumber]

It is always fun. The fact that you admitted to not having fun doing your own thing tells me that you don't enjoy your own agency. You want the work done for you, which also tells me that you are lazy and entitled.

I see... very cool that you did the effort to refine this.

You fall or are trapped into the same very limited mind that we can see in other lost and limited persons. It is the expectation that others have the same ability and capability as you do or more likely that you wish you could do. This is a shame, because it causes many misunderstandings that even can lead to bad things.

You have decided to judge another based on your idea of true. This is probably the root cause of so many bad things in the world.

Do you do this by choice because your lazy, or is it really that you do not have the ability to do more? Or perhaps are afraid and use some mild aggression to hide.

I still don't connect lazy and entitled with preferring to interact with others instead of being alone. Thank you for doing your best to explain.

 

[Plinco]

You fall or are trapped into the same very limited mind that we can see in other lost and limited persons. It is the expectation that others have the same ability and capability as you do or more likely that you wish you could do. This is a shame, because it causes many misunderstandings that even can lead to bad things.

You have decided to judge another based on your idea of true. This is probably the root cause of so many bad things in the world.

Do you do this by choice because your lazy, or is it really that you do not have the ability to do more? Or perhaps are afraid and use some mild aggression to hide.

There is a reality that exists independent of what any of us wants to think. If you are talking about self-delusions, one way that I have found to cure those is to go out and act out my beliefs. The consequences delineated any false beliefs if I had them.

I still don't connect lazy and entitled with preferring to interact with others instead of being alone. Thank you for doing your best to explain.

Being alone is your preference. Just don't forget what your long-term goals are. To quote Confucius, "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."

 

[jhonny9546]

Family game is something you have or you don't.

What are your long term goals?

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and starting this discussion.

My main goals include:

- Family Stability: I want to live in a specific place with a women and a child.
- Career: I aim for a fulfilling career, both financially and professionally.
- Relationships: I want to maintain great relationships with family, childhood friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.


My worldview has changed after observing my cousins' separations.
I've started gathering knowledge, and also found sosuave.
Although many relationships seem perfect, I have come to understand that there are often hidden dynamics.
This realization does not diminish my desire to have a serious LTR with a woman of value;
I accept that everything can change.

I do not fully identify with the MGTOW movement, as I believe in building meaningful relationships.
I spent much of my teens and twenties alone, learning the importance of human connection while understanding the relevance of freedom and having/giving spaces.


My journey is characterized by a cycle of learning and growth:

1. Know the theory
2. Unlearn bad behaviors
3. Learn new good behaviors
4. Apply those behaviors
5. Fail and try again

As you can see I recognize that my growth has been negatively impacted by my upbringing, but I am determined to progress through continued experience and reflection.

 

[BaronOfHair]

His religious perspective is ultimately immaterial. The words he speaks remain true

 

[Gamisch]

Lol just wrote this in another thread. ....

""one of the secrets that beta men/ nice guys will NEVER grasps. .(Because thesw men will keep on trying to imitate their bluepilled beta bytch fathers who at least "always had mama on his side" despite his lack of charisma, obese gut and all that )""..

Hi Jhonny,
You can't expect much sympathy here,more than one in four U.S homes are fatherless,some demographics are more than half!...add to that the effectively Fatherless homes where the Father is a workaholic and is rarely seen...Then consider the guys rendered parentless by the need for both Parents to earn a living...You are one of the Heaven born well educated you live in a cradle to grave Welfare state... Don't feel sorry for yourself,just pick up your bundle and get on with it.

on top of that ( to add context to my qoute) having the WRONG rolemodel might be even worse given how fast times are changing.

One or two generations away there were no cellphones, Tinder ect. Those days when you'd play Donny hathaway and Roberta Flack's song The closer I get to yooooouuuu and ended up fecking. Flowers, carry her jacket ect

We on the other hand , we had to play Future and King Von, couldn't double text or sometimes got rejected because we said Hey or hello.....

@Bible_Belt horrible story...
.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

There is a certain ring of truth to the title, OP. However, I don't agree with it entirely.

"Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man." - Founder of Jesuit order

Again, there is some merit to this. Despite this, I had parents who were very "hands off" due to me wanting more time with my father (wasn't had) and less with my mother (it was full of everything you might find in a therapeutic book called "Toxic Parents."). If I didn't want to play 'guess what mood and answer to pick' I gave my mother as little an excuse to hover as possible. By order of necessity in an unsafe household as a child I learned to become as independent from adults as was possible for my age. Limited for sure, but it at least allowed me some reprieve or temporary respite or to disappear before summoned to do god knows what or to face hell for the same thing dependent on whims. My father? Eh. He was also subject to these same whims.

I took these disadvantages and made good on the phrase "Handed lemons? Make lemonade." I taught myself for the most part how to become a man and to toughen myself up. And when I failed, I sought out martial arts and the military to either beat it out of me or motivate me to cut it out of my life with painful, yet surgical precision. Drugs? heh. Therapy? Heh. Those weren't the answer.

You are not your damned past. And you're damn sure not who your father "makes" you to be. For reasons of this natural world and its workings, time and chance didn't allow my father and I to converse together as grown men. He didn't get to see me develop a taste for black coffee others call 'tar', go offroad through a mountain pass in Colorado on my Harley where most would be too chicken to take a four wheeler. He also didn't get to see me in a happy loving relationship that he never had with my mother. Perhaps it is a good thing that such a meeting never occurred.

On the flipside, I do agree that what your father does, or does NOT do can have a PROFOUND effect on your life or how difficult it will be. Fathers, please... If you have sons especially, they need to SEE YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! They need to see you engaged in hobbies you are skilled at and enjoy doing that aren't dependent on your wife's / baby mama's 'approval' and to be taught that it's OK TO RELAX AND BE HAPPY. That life is more than just bleak work and servitude, staying in peak shape while with a fat lady who throws tantrums with nothing to show for it.

I'm off of my soap box. Didn't mean for this to sound ill intended if it came off that way.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Yes your Father is important but at the end of the day you can either use imperfect situations in your life as excuses or you can use them as challenges to overcome.

Plenty of pro athletes who grew up with far worse situations than you did made it to the pinnacle of their sport.

Plenty of ones also never made it, some of whom were more talented or just as talented as the ones who did.

What was the difference? Their mindset.

One group used that as an excuse while the other used it as a challenge to overcome.

Everything in life can be viewed that way. You have to decide if you are going to lay down and roll over in life when you get knocked down or if you are going to get up and fight your @ss off Everytime it happens.

with everything else equal, there are factors outside of ones control that determine the outcome. to say it's all mindset is to suggest the world is a perfectly ordered and fair place - its not, mother nature is harsh and cold. the world is a chaotic and random place and it does not reward "virtuous" behavior like we think. sometimes shvt just doesn't go the way we want it, all we can do sometimes is go with the tide and not fight it.

to bring this back to the topic at hand if you're born with a horrible father you were given one of the shvttiest hands you could have been dealt. that doesn't mean your fate is sealed, but it means you have unique and distinct challenges to overcome and likely will have to develop a lot of wisdom and foresight.