randalljohnson
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2017
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Would you be bothered if your GF seems to be hanging around this one specific guy's page and Likes all/most selfies he posts?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Check out my other thread titled "girlfriend seems to have wandering eyes"I would be concerned. I would watch her other actions. Does she meet this guy in person? You need to divest emotionally from her and be prepared to dump or be dumped. What other information can you give us?
I know what you mean, but that's not her. She doesn't "like" everything. Just like how she's not the person to wish EVERYBODY a happy birthdayHm, look at if she likes photos all over the place. Maybe she likes photos of everyone LOL some girls (a lot of girls, actually) got nothing to do during the day and they are always checking their Insta, liking pics all over the place
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Well, then be prepared for anything. If she doesn't like everything and she's giving this guy more attention, it means he's doing sth right whether he knows it or not.I know what you mean, but that's not her. She doesn't "like" everything. Just like how she's not the person to wish EVERYBODY a happy birthday
Is that the reason you broke up? The funny thing with my girl is that she's always told her friends how much she wanted stability and to get married and settle down with her kid and a manHuge red flag for me... 9 times out of 10 they are in contact with that guy in some way. It doesn't necessarily mean they're having sex, but they are probably texting, or in contact in some form. I've had 2 women in my past showing this behavior, and both times I caught them talking to the guy later. Trust your gut feeling, it's usually right lol
Its a valid concernWinner! Lamest reason to get mad at her, ever.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Keep in mind, she has no other choice. Imagine if she said to her friends how much she wanted to **** every cute guy she sees without ever being in a relationship with them. Yeah....Is that the reason you broke up? The funny thing with my girl is that she's always told her friends how much she wanted stability and to get married and settle down with her kid and a man
How would I know what she's doing on Facebook?Would you be bothered if your GF seems to be hanging around this one specific guy's page and Likes all/most selfies he posts?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I would DIRECTLY ASK her if she's fvckin the dude, dating the dude, etc. on the side, and if not, why does she like all of his pics?Would you be bothered if your GF seems to be hanging around this one specific guy's page and Likes all/most selfies he posts?
I totally agree with you on this one. Not saying it to her in an offensive way cause you'd show this **** is under your skin, but when the girl is your girlfriend and you notice that? Like, listen, I would not go around snooping what she likes and what she doesn't, but if something bothers me about anything, I will tell it to her and wait for her response. Not that I will completely and blindly lie on that response per se, but I will at least make it known there is something I don't like in there.I would DIRECTLY ASK her if she's fvckin the dude, dating the dude, etc. on the side, and if not, why does she like all of his pics?
If you're bothered by something then you're bothered by it. Why do we as Men have to be ashamed for what pisses us off, but women can be pissed off, express it, etc., etc.?
Tell that slvt it looks weird and you don't like it.
I remember the thread you made earlier about this chick. 90% of us told you the same thing, yet you're still here and starting another thread about it because you put up with this sh!t and didn't change a thing.Check out my other thread titled "girlfriend seems to have wandering eyes"
This particular guy, I don't believe she's met in person. But she added him on facebook/instagram the first month or two we were together. He lives local to us. Eventually she deleted him off FB (when things got better in our relationship) but kept him on IG and to this day, seems to consistently Like his selfies
I am so sorry for myself that I was not around this forum around September...these words would have probably saved me a lot of pain I went through. However, thanks for putting it like this. Now I know what to do with my next cases if anything similar happened. I had my girlfriend giving me **** when I was telling her to take a trip and she was hesitating all over the place. Don't know what it might have been, but I am sure the "pep talk" would have solved the situation in my favour and it would have saved me a lot of pain, begging, pleading. Thanks.I remember the thread you made earlier about this chick. 90% of us told you the same thing, yet you're still here and starting another thread about it because you put up with this sh!t and didn't change a thing.
Many of us have dealt with this crap at one time or another. You ask us for advice, then don't have the balls to do something. Make sense?
I would do one of 2 things.
1.) Address the issue with her asap. You shouldn't be putting up with this and if the shoe was on the other foot, she would have dumped you by now. The problem with addressing it is that there is really no way to keep frame while doing it. You'll look insecure and weak.
2.) Out of nowhere, sit her down and tell her that you need to talk. Tell her that there are some things that you're not comfortable with and you want to take some time to figure out what you want to do. In no way, shape or form do you go into detail about her wondering eyes. It should be no more than a 2 minute talk, all one sided, and all you should tell her is "look in the mirror at some of your behaviors and either fix them or I'm going to explore other possibilities. This chick isn't stupid. If she's fvcking one of these guys she is going to think that's what you're taking about. DO NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THIS. DON'T ANSWER QUESTIONS. QUICKLY SPEAK YOUR MIND AND LEAVE. If it gets into a conversation about it, it will either turn into a fight, or she will just tell you there is nothing to worry about.
This chick needs to go to hardcore timeout.
Bottom line, it's up to her to fix her inappropriate behavior, not your job, in order to make you happy enough to keep seeing her.
She's either going to agree with you about splitting up and bounce, or realize that you WILL walk if sh!t doesn't change NOW.
Tell her that you're taking a couple of days apart to figure out exactly what you want to do.....leave her in limbo and do not initiate any contact. Don't blow her completely off, but wait a while to text her back, don't answer her calls......make her really think about it.
If left unattended you're going to get dumped because she is getting away with this crab, your not addressing it and she won't respect you.
Man up and address it this way and you won't lose frame.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.